Jackson tested East German organ

Subversive influence brought down the Berlin Wall after all, in 1988 already, or something.

Subversion. It's what I do.

“Youths are prepared to go to any lengths to experience this concert around the area of the Brandenburg Gate [next to the wall],” the Stasi report said, adding that the aim of the clash was to “test the limits of the security organ”.

The Stasi considered Jackson, like most western pop stars, to be a subversive influence on its youth.

But they also helped document the fact that he liked girls too, sort of.

“The day before the concert it monitored his visit to the Allied Checkpoint Charlie, at the heart of the then divided city. On a report card next to his name and date of birth, it detailed how he got out of a limousine at 2.52 pm, and was accompanied “at all times by a 25-year-old female.”

“Live life off the wall.”

“How can you identify a German soldier?”

“He is the corpse clutching the pocket guide.” Or so the joke goes in Afghanistan. This is because, up until recently, German soldiers serving there were obligated by German political directives issued in Berlin to pull out a pocket guide and give the warning, in three languages (English, Pashtu and Dari) “United Nations – stop, or I will fire!” before returning fire when attacked by the Taliban.

You gotta have rules.

This is supposed to reduce misunderstandings and keep anybody from getting hurt, especially the Taliban. But times change and even German politicians are lernfähig (can learn from their mistakes) – just go ask Ulla Schmidt – so now new rules of engagement have been released in which German forces will actually be allowed to shoot back at those shooting at them and shout out warnings later. Not that they will actually do that or anything, we don’t want any misunderstandings here you know, but still.

“The warnings were well intended but not realistic.”

The Renaissance Men are coming

No, not The Transformers or The Watchmen or the whoever else out there on your movie screens is coming these days, the German left-wing terror renaissance types. In real life, here in Berlin, wherever that is (the real life part of Berlin, I mean).

But we started out peaceful, OK?

Yup, the subtle pink blossoms of German left-wing stupid violence Romanticism are blooming anew, predictably, in the city that keeps “drawing them in” and never seems to tire of this nonsense. Arson attacks on cars and other left-wing protests are up these days, indirectly encouraged by Berlin’s all too understanding and sympathetic Mayor Klaus Wowereit (the stress in sympathetic should be placed on pathetic here).

And this rise in violence has in fact become so noticeable that even the police up top are starting to notice it – Germany’s police union boss just put out the warning. You see Police here in Berlin, just like everywhere else in the country, pretty much have to apologize whenever they do their job properly, as attested to during the recent senseless violent outbreak at the city’s old Tempelhof Airport. They are the ones always at fault whenever “peaceful demonstrations” planned to turn violent then turn violent so violently. After all, somebody has to be held responsible.

But its yawn time again on this one I guess. The German media landscape, dominated as it is by the older but not at all wiser left-wing parents (or grandparents?) who are throwing the stones now, the same ones who started the fun back in 68 (somehow sound familiar?), will see to it that everyone continues to turn a blind left eye to the good-natured fun these well-intentioned youngsters are having as, well, they only mean well and they are actually quite idealistic and this is for a good cause in the end after all, I think, or it must be, right?

Or what do you think the public reaction here would be if the people “peacefully demonstrating” out there like this were all wearing brown shirts and Nazi regalia? There’s violence, you see, and then there is violence.

„Parts of Wowereit’s administration — the governing coalition pairs the center-left Social Democrats with the far-left Left Party — are openly sympathetic to the left-wing extremists.“

PS: Thanks for the link, Joe.

Scientific breakthrough found in combat against German Lounger Stress Disorder

Well, it isn’t all that scientific really. But it is a step forward in the ongoing battle against GLSD. European vacation specialists seem to have finally come up with an antidote to the dreaded early morning German vacationer ritual of draping a beach towel over the first vacant sun lounger he or she can find (some call it “bed bagging bingo”). But, then again, maybe they haven’t.

We were here first again already.

Thomas Cook is now giving Germans, genetically programmed as they are to reserve deckchairs wherever and whenever they find them, the option of pre-booking their loungers long before they ever even get to there, wherever that is. On vacation, I mean. Whether or not this will put an end to the long-running beach towel wars between Germany and the rest of the world as we know it remains to be seen of course. So stay tuned or something.

„So far, the offer only applies to winter holidays booked in Germany.“

She didn’t know no better

Sheesh! Thieves these days. No, not that German health minister lady, Ulla Schmidt (SPD), I mean those mean, rotten and nasty Spanish car thieves who stole her ride down in Alicante. And this after she flew all the way down there for official important European political business matters – and had her chauffeur drive her official important German Mercedes limo the 1,500 miles down there too, so it would be waiting for her when she got there. But then it got stolen, like I said. Thieves these days. Like I said again.

Thieves suck.

Is nothing sacred? No, not the German tax Euros that get so generously distributed by German politicians these days, I mean that beautiful S-Class Mercedes. But you shot yourselves in the feet this time, Spanish criminals. You can bet that after this she’ll never have it driven down there for her again.

„Opposition politicians want to know why she needed her car in Spain, when embassy vehicles are available.“

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