Hertha Down, Bayern Out

The German Football Federation has rejected Hertha Berlin‘s request to have their relegation play-off fixture with Fortuna Dusseldorf replayed due to fan unrest.

Home groan: How Bayern’s night of destiny became a nightmare.

FC Bayern have lost their last five matches to Borussia Dortmund, the DFB Pokal and the last two championships to Die Borussen and will need to recover quickly ahead of next season.

Next Bestseller Guaranteed

It’s a popular Sunday night ritual here in Germany: After Tatort is over, most folks stay tuned in to watch Günther Jauch’s talk show.

And another popular ritual here is to make sure to be empört (outraged, highly indignant) whenever you hear the name Tilo Sarrazin. The reason? This guy has the gall to 1) revel in being politically incorrect by saying out loud what roughtly 80 to 90 percent of the rest of the German population really (if not secretly) thinks and to 2) openly and shamelessly captialize on this by writing lucrative bestsellers about these horrid and despicable views.

His first Tabubruch (taboo breaking): “Germany Is Doing Away With Itself,” a book advocating a more restrictive immigration policy and the reduction of state welfare benefits.

His next big bestseller (to be plugged tonight): “Europe Does Not Need The Euro,” a book, well, the title says it all, doesn’t it?

Needless to say, the politically correct political caste is up in arms about tonight’s show already and is calling for a boycott and whatever else they call for in a situation like this and, well, let’s face it. Once you mix popular rituals like these together, live and in color, as the Germans like to say, I am convinced we’ll be getting Fernsehen vom Feinsten (TV at its best) tonight. All for all the wrong reasons, of course, but still.

“Mit Sarrazin sollte sich niemand mehr in eine Talkshow setzen.”

The Great European Divide

There’s Germany, it seems. And then there’s (practically) everybody else in Europe.

The Economist notes: The hope is that Germany, which produces over a quarter of euro-zone output, can pull along the rest. But the worry is that the latest bout of euro sickness may sap confidence even in Germany, aborting a broader recovery.

With unemployment at 6% compared with a 15-year high of 11% across the euro zone and over 20% in Spain and Greece, Germans feel less pressure to save in case they lose their jobs. And a more confident Germany helps everyone by spending more on imports. German inflation at 2.2% is now below average.

German resilience reflects several strengths. Although growth in the first quarter was helped by exports, the usual mainstay, it has increasingly been backed by domestic demand, which accounted for three-quarters of GDP growth in 2011. This reorientation has happened because Germany avoided the debt excesses (? hmmm, relatively speaking perhaps, but I’ve seen some other numbers here), both private and public, that inhibit growth elsewhere. With relatively low debt, German households and firms can borrow more. What is more, they can do it at rock-bottom rates. Paradoxically, Germany is benefiting from the euro crisis, as investors seek a haven. Yields on ten-year German government bonds have fallen below 1.5%.

Paradoxically, Germany is benefiting from the euro crisis, as investors seek a haven. Yields on ten-year German government bonds have fallen below 1.5%.

And yet, after having read all these impressive figures up there, there’s another German paradox I keep running into here all the time: Germans on the street aren’t nearly as confident as this article wants to imply, at least not when it comes to the euro and the euro-zone. How else do you explain the fact that nearly every second German now thinks that the introduction of the euro was a big honking mistake in the first place?

Die Euro-Einführung war ein Fehler, glauben knapp die Hälfte der Deutschen.

Happy Christi Himmelfahrtskommandotag!

Vatertag is also Ascension here (or the other way around), and a real holiday. And a real boon to the German liquor industry, too.

And there really is some connection between the two holidays here somewhere, I think. Jesus is known to have drunk wine and wander around the countryside with his buddies, for instance. Although without the Bollerwagen (handcarts), of course. Nor did they ever drink and drive, as far as I know.

Not so here in Germany, however. Bild tells us that there will be three times as many alcohol-related accidents today as usual. And I believe it, too. Just ask these guys down here.

Herrentag ist Unfalltag!

PS: Christi Himmelfahrt is the Ascension. A Himmelfahrtskommando is a kamikaze operation.

A Blaze Of Glory

Looks like you’re toast now, Hertha BSC.

Your relegation playoff defeat at Fortuna Düsseldorf took you out of the big league, yet again.

Although the match go so ugly at times…

That Hertha is now appealing against the result and is requesting a replay, which may or may not be granted.

But if they do get the replay, at least they’ll get the chance to lose fair and square on their own, without any of that pesky soccer fan interference stuff.

“It is written in the rules: if there is an outside influence, which has nothing to do with the game, then the match must be replayed.”

Now That’s What I Call Starting Off With A Bang

A presidential jet carrying newly inaugurated French President Francois Hollande was hit by lightning en route to Berlin and forced to turn back to Paris, but the Socialist was unharmed and took off again in another plane, a presidential source said.

Damn. This Hollande guy is definitely more flashy than his predecessor Sarkozy was. When it comes to lightning, I mean.

Blitzschlag hin oder her. Angela Merkel empfing den französischen Präsidenten im Kanzleramt per Handschlag.

PS: Is there a metaphor here or something?

How To Throw In The Towel And Do A Comeback In Just Five Short Months!

Before.

And after.

A lot can happen in five (5) months. Well a lot sure did for this guy.

The FDP, which supports free markets and low taxes, has traditionally been a kingmaker in German politics… Frustrated with his party’s squabbling leadership, he (Christian Lindner) stepped down as general secretary of the FDP on a national level late last year. But in March the party picked him as its lead candidate in state legislative elections in North Rhine-Westphalia, and got an immediate boost in national opinion polls.

We Still Love Him Because…

Well, let us count the ways. We know, because his hands are tied (and his fingers are pointing?) and he would do better if he could but he can’t so he won’t.

President Obama just can’t turn out to be an ineffective loser. No he can’t. We are the world and we won’t accept it. We elected him, after all. Along with America too, of course.

Here are a few of this article’s lowlights:

In Europe, where more than 200,000 people thronged a Berlin rally in 2008 to hear Barack Obama speak, there’s disappointment that he hasn’t kept his promise to close the military prison at Guantanamo Bay, and perceptions that he’s shunting blame for the financial crisis across the Atlantic.

In a world weary of war and economic crises, and concerned about global climate change, the consensus is that Obama has not lived up to the lofty expectations that surrounded his 2008 election and Nobel Peace Prize a year later.

But many Germans give Obama too much of the blame because they don’t understand the limits of his powers. “There’s a lack of understanding both of how the system of checks and balances works — or doesn’t work any longer — and a lack of understanding of how big the socio-economic problems in the United States are, which cause the gridlock.”

“I think people see through his game to put the blame (for the financial crisis) on Europeans — I think Germans and Europeans still know where the economic crisis had its beginning,” Braml said. “That’s just finger-pointing, not doing a fair analysis of the dire situation in the U.S., but I can understand Obama is doing that because he wants to get re-elected so they need to shift blame around on the Republicans or the Europeans.”

And elsewhere:

“When Democrats, including Obama, are in power, we lose the sympathy and support from America,” said Carawan Ahmed, a high school teacher in Iraq’s northern Kurdish capital of Irbil. “To be frank, the Republicans protected the Kurdish people, while Obama’s administration is not.”

Obama has been the U.S. president “least involved in the Palestinian issue,” said Mohammed Ishtayeh, an aide to Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. Since Obama made his Cairo speech, Ishtayeh added, “he found his hands tied and couldn’t make much progress.”

Obama also has a strained relationship with Israel. Obama’s Mideast envoy, former U.S. Sen. George Mitchell, made no progress during two years of frequent meetings with both sides before quitting last year.

Many in Asia, Africa, the Middle East and Latin America were also taken aback by his support for gay marriage, a taboo subject among religious conservatives.

And on and on it goes. But the main thing is that the world still loves him because, well, he means well. And he has so much promise, or something.