German Of The Day: Frieden Schaffen Ohne Arbeitsplätze

Ohne Waffen natürlich. That means “make peace without weapons.” Or in this case without jobs?

Tank

After Economy Minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) recently announced that he will tighten rules on arms exports from Germany (the world’s third largest arms exporter) in the coming months, Germany’s defense industry lobby has fired back with the warning that “these companies are looking into shifting production abroad.”

The defense industry employs about 80,000 people in Germany.

It is unclear at the moment which weapon the Economy Minister will pull out now to make peace with next.

“Wenn mein Land bei mir nicht kauft und mir gleichzeitig sagt, du darfst nicht exportieren, dann halte ich das nicht lange durch.”

Why Germans Always Pay Cash?

Like, duh. Because they’re the ones who have it all.

Cash

But the real point isn’t that Germans love cash. It’s that—for the same historical reasons—they loathe debt. (Armchair anthropologists have also long noted that German word for debt—Schulden—comes from the word for guilt, Schuld.)…

In other words, the German tendency to settle up in cash undeniably reflects the fact that for much of the last century, Germany has been either on the brink of, in the midst of, or struggling to recover from, disaster. And traumas like that are bound to leave, if you’ll excuse the pun, a mark.

Forget About The Scots

Now it’s time to get the Bavarians outta here!

Bavaria

In further signs that the Scottish referendum on independence is inspiring secessionist movements across Europe, Germany’s Bavaria Party has signalled its support for the Scottish Yes campaign amidst hopes that Bavaria could also become independent.

This was to be expected, I guess. But I’m just not sure yet if these are the Bavarians who want Bavaria to secede or the rest of Germany.

Wollt Ihr nich auch die Bayern loswerden? Dann wählt die Bayernpartei.

Red Carpet Treatment

For the guy with the gas. From Qatar.

Qatar

Who cares that Qatar funds ISIS terror and revels in exploiting its expatriate slave laborers ahead of the 2022 World Cup (to name just two minor points)? It is also the world’s biggest exporter of liquefied petroleum gas (LPG). And these days, with Germany’s good buddy Putin getting all uppity about passing his Russian gas (and currently suffering from a 35% Russian gas import addition) LPG looks like the next best drug of choice.

Economic ties remain key to Germany’s relationship with Qatar, one of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries’ energy-rich members. The partnership increasingly encompasses energy interests, especially in light of the crisis in Ukraine and potential threats to Europe’s gas supplies.

Since When Does Ukraine Have A Graffiti Problem?

German drones could soon fly over eastern Ukraine? I thought they were only used for patrolling railyards by night to fight graffiti spraying terrorists here in Germany.

Drone

Or to harass the Bundeskanzlerin in Dresden. Or to terrify passengers on commercial airplanes trying to land in Kabul. Hey, practice makes perfect, I guess.

France and Germany are preparing to send their unmanned aircraft as part of the ongoing OSCE mission. The first soldiers from those countries arrived in Ukraine Tuesday to evaluate the conditions on the ground.

Der Büroschlaf Ist Immer Noch Am Gesündesten

Sleep at the office is still the healthiest. But not even that is enough to keep us top fit these days, it seems.

Sleep

A shocking new study reveals that none of us are getting nearly enough sleep and that this is eventually going to make us go all demented and stuff if we aren’t all demented and stuff already. Before it kills us, I mean.

It appears that this stressful information society we live in is causing us to sleep one and a half hours less then we used to back in the 1960s because, well, I dunno, we have to process sleep data fun facts like this, for instance. We are suffering from permanent sleep deprivation, these experts tell us. All of us. So wake up and go back to sleep already.

„In unserer Informationsgesellschaft schlafen wir ein bis eineinhalb Stunden kürzer als noch in den 1960er Jahren. Wir haben relativen Schlafentzug – alle.“

Nobody Has The Intention Of Building A Wall

Why build just one wall when you can build dozens of them instead?

Walls

Like how un-European is that? This type of shocking and evil thing can only happen in shocking and evil places like US-Amerika or Israel.

Along the frontiers between Spain and Morocco, Greece and Turkey and Hungary and Serbia, the EU is deploying brutal methods to keep out undesired refugees. Many risk everything for a future in Europe and their odysseys too often end in death.

The EU is doing all it can to keep out refugees.

PS: The Germans would be contributing a lot more here but they only have experience with keeping refugees in.

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