Update: Why Germans Always Pay Cash?

Because they can. Take cash-stuffed German mega-companies, for instance.

Cash

They’re buying everything they can find in US-Amerika these days that hasn’t been tied down.

In recent days, two multibillion-dollar deals were announced. On Sunday, the German engineering conglomerate Siemens announced a $7.6 billion acquisition of the Dresser-Rand Group, the United States oil products company. And on Monday morning, Merck of Germany, the chemical and drug giant, said it would pay $17 billion for Sigma-Aldrich, an American life sciences company.

PS: Remember when Japan was going to take over the United States? No, I guess you wouldn’t remember that. Never mind.

Das Oktoberfest Hat Begonnen!

O’zapft is!

Munich pukes

Oktoberfest guests probably don’t want to turn up on this site after their visit: “München kotzt” (Munich pukes) documents the low points of the world’s largest Volksfest.

Auf dieser Seite möchte man nach dem Oktoberfest-Besuch lieber nicht auftauchen: “München kotzt” dokumentiert die Tiefpunkte des weltgrößten Volksfestes.

German Of The Day: Frieden Schaffen Ohne Arbeitsplätze

Ohne Waffen natürlich. That means “make peace without weapons.” Or in this case without jobs?

Tank

After Economy Minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) recently announced that he will tighten rules on arms exports from Germany (the world’s third largest arms exporter) in the coming months, Germany’s defense industry lobby has fired back with the warning that “these companies are looking into shifting production abroad.”

The defense industry employs about 80,000 people in Germany.

It is unclear at the moment which weapon the Economy Minister will pull out now to make peace with next.

“Wenn mein Land bei mir nicht kauft und mir gleichzeitig sagt, du darfst nicht exportieren, dann halte ich das nicht lange durch.”

Forget About The Scots

Now it’s time to get the Bavarians outta here!

Bavaria

In further signs that the Scottish referendum on independence is inspiring secessionist movements across Europe, Germany’s Bavaria Party has signalled its support for the Scottish Yes campaign amidst hopes that Bavaria could also become independent.

This was to be expected, I guess. But I’m just not sure yet if these are the Bavarians who want Bavaria to secede or the rest of Germany.

Wollt Ihr nich auch die Bayern loswerden? Dann wählt die Bayernpartei.

Red Carpet Treatment

For the guy with the gas. From Qatar.

Qatar

Who cares that Qatar funds ISIS terror and revels in exploiting its expatriate slave laborers ahead of the 2022 World Cup (to name just two minor points)? It is also the world’s biggest exporter of liquefied petroleum gas (LPG). And these days, with Germany’s good buddy Putin getting all uppity about passing his Russian gas (and currently suffering from a 35% Russian gas import addition) LPG looks like the next best drug of choice.

Economic ties remain key to Germany’s relationship with Qatar, one of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries’ energy-rich members. The partnership increasingly encompasses energy interests, especially in light of the crisis in Ukraine and potential threats to Europe’s gas supplies.

Der Büroschlaf Ist Immer Noch Am Gesündesten

Sleep at the office is still the healthiest. But not even that is enough to keep us top fit these days, it seems.

Sleep

A shocking new study reveals that none of us are getting nearly enough sleep and that this is eventually going to make us go all demented and stuff if we aren’t all demented and stuff already. Before it kills us, I mean.

It appears that this stressful information society we live in is causing us to sleep one and a half hours less then we used to back in the 1960s because, well, I dunno, we have to process sleep data fun facts like this, for instance. We are suffering from permanent sleep deprivation, these experts tell us. All of us. So wake up and go back to sleep already.

„In unserer Informationsgesellschaft schlafen wir ein bis eineinhalb Stunden kürzer als noch in den 1960er Jahren. Wir haben relativen Schlafentzug – alle.“

Nobody Has The Intention Of Building A Wall

Why build just one wall when you can build dozens of them instead?

Walls

Like how un-European is that? This type of shocking and evil thing can only happen in shocking and evil places like US-Amerika or Israel.

Along the frontiers between Spain and Morocco, Greece and Turkey and Hungary and Serbia, the EU is deploying brutal methods to keep out undesired refugees. Many risk everything for a future in Europe and their odysseys too often end in death.

The EU is doing all it can to keep out refugees.

PS: The Germans would be contributing a lot more here but they only have experience with keeping refugees in.

German Of The Day: Hauptverkehrszeit

You know, the peak hour? The highpoint? Not to be confused with other kinds of public Verkehr (traffic) out there, however.

Verkehr

It usually takes place in the Berlin subway around have sex, I mean halb sechs (five-thirty) in the morning, maybe later. Sometimes the Hauptverkehrszeit comes earlier, though. Even when it’s in the evening. Or in the middle of the night.

Police said that charges could only be brought in such a case if someone felt disturbed by the couple’s display and reported it to the authorities.

Speaking Of The Energiewende…

Or German energy turnaround… It’s really working great!

Strom

The price of electricity for private households in Germany has gone up 38 percent since 2008.

It’s easy to do, all you other countries out there. Just follow Germany’s example and shut down all of your nuclear power plants in a panic and then force through the construction of renewable wind and solar energy plants that are neither energy nor cost-efficient enough and then have them heavily subsidized by these households. That turns things around in no time.

Der Bundesverband der Energie- und Wasserwirtschaft (BDEW) erklärte, der starke Anstieg der staatlich verordneten Steuern, Abgaben und Umlagen in den vergangenen Jahren sei der Grund für den Anstieg der Strompreise für Haushaltskunden. «Hinzu kommen die gestiegenen Kosten für den Netzausbau, der mit dem weiteren Ausbau der erneuerbaren Energien notwendig ist», sagte ein Sprecher des BDEW in Berlin.

Russia Passing Less Gas Than Usual

To Europe, I mean. Do to a “technical disturbance,” it seems. Some 20 to 24 percent less natural gas than agreed to. All of a sudden-like.

Gas

Thank goodness countries like Germany thought ahead and only import a mere 35 percent of the natural gas they need from Russia. Otherwise a dangerous dependency might have developed that could have eventually even threatened the Energiewende itself!

Seit Montag seien die Lieferungen um 20 bis 24 Prozent geringer als in den Vereinbarungen mit dem russischen Energiekonzern Gazprom festgelegt.

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