First Sommerloch Monster Sighting Already Over

They don’t usually catch them, this time of year. But they had this guy in the bag in no time.

Kangaroo

Kangaroos in Brandenburg? Why not, they’re in Sauerland and Rheinland these days, too.

I do wonder if Germany’s nature engineers have thought this through thoroughly, however. Didn’t they just reintroduce wolves here reently?

Polizisten, ein Tierarzt und Anwohner haben in Teltow-Fläming stundenlang ein Buschkänguru gejagt. Erst Betäubungspfeile konnten es stoppen.

German Of The Day: Bombenstimmung

That means a tremendous, “bomb-like” atmosphere. And that’s definitely the kind of mood some of those fine, wholesome folks down there in that little old one-horse town called Freital, Saxony seem to be in.

Freital

A local politician who supported a plan to house refugees in the town of Freital outside Dresden has been the victim of an arson attack. The Left party said that Michael Richter was the target of right-wing threats…

In recent weeks, Freital – just 10 kilometers (6 miles) southwest of Dresden – has been the scene of increasingly tense political rhetoric and sporadic violence after city authorities announced in June that the town of around 40,000 would house 280 refugees in a former hotel. Some locals responded by launching a series of increasingly virulent anti-asylum seeker demonstrations, culminating in a July 6 town hall meeting which saw protestors clash with town politicians.

Sheesh. Ugly Germans of the week? These folks have now been awarded the entire month of July.

Sommerloch Tornado Coming This Way!

The German Sommerloch is famous for being the time for scary none-news news reports. It is also famous for being the time for reports about scary non-animal animals, too.

Sharknado

That is why everybody is all hot and bothered right now about that scary low front “Zeljko“ approching Germany as you read this. Many Sommerloch weather forecasters are worried that this could be the beginning of a real live Sommerloch tornado (ignore the fact that Germany doesn’t actually do tornados, please).

Others who prefer to remain anonymous are going to go even further out on the limb and are predicting that “Zeljko“ could turn into the dreaded Sommerloch Sharknado ITSELF!

Im ersten Teil bekämpfen sie die fliegenden Haie in Los Angeles, in Teil zwei in New York und in „Sharknado 3 – Oh Hell No!“ macht sich der Raubtier-Tornado über der gesamten Ostküste der USA breit.

Germans Arrive In Tehran For Piece Talks

Piece of the pie talks, that is.

Roughly four minutes after a deal with world powers over Iran’s nuclear program was reached, Germany’s Economy Minister Sigmar Gabriel flew down to Tehran (and boy are his arms tired) in another selfless attempt to bring more love and understanding to the troubled  region and make tons and tons of money selling German stuff to the moolah-mullahs again in the process.

Iran

German exports to Iran hit 4.4 billion euros in 2005 but then slumped to 1.8 billion by 2013 as the West tightened the sanctions imposed over Iran’s nuclear programme. However, the agreement between Iran and six world powers including Germany has opened the prospect that the sanctions will be removed.

Historical Monstrosities Historical Monuments

We’re so ugly we’re beautiful.

Berlin

What few in 1989 wanted was the supposedly dumpy, chronically unfashionable late-1960s buildings around Alexanderplatz, relics of a defunct, unlovable regime that were perceived as having little or no architectural value.

So that’s precisely what we all just got.

The monuments are certainly far from the worst constructions of their time. Best known and most popular is the World Clock, a kitschy but delightful sculpture-cum-timepiece created in 1969 that has long been a popular meeting spot for locals.

More German “Universalization,” Please

German policy-makers genuinely believe the harsh medicine for Greece and others is the right thing to do, he added. In some ways, Germany is “trying to universalize its own history,” Mr. Kundnani noted. That history includes an extreme leeriness of inflation and debt, plus more recent experience about a decade ago with a series of successful economic reforms, including an overhaul of its labour market.

Germany

“I don’t see Germany as being an outlier. I see it rather as someone who is in the middle ground and seeking a balance. Germany is taking a lead by managing the debate.”

2 Intellectual 4 Me

Nope, this latest Spiegel cover is not what I would call “defamatory or racist.” It’s just particularly stupid. But everybody seems to be having hurt feelings about it and calling each other names because of it and stuff like that, which always warms my heart. So keep running with it, folks.

Spiegel

“Our Greeks – Taking a closer look at a strange people.” Takes one to know one, I guess.

And always remember: “Spiegel readers know more” (one of the magazine’s more popular slogans). And they also love to look down their noses at people who read the Bildzeitung, for instance. There is a big difference, you see? Me, neither.

SPIEGEL-Leser wissen mehr!

Germany Defeated Yet Again

No, it wasn’t World War III. It was the Endkampf (final battle) for Bailout III. Like, don’t these people ever get tired of surrendering?

Defeat

Europe woke up on Monday to a lot of headlines about the humiliation of Greece, the triumph of an all-powerful Germany and the subversion of democracy in Europe.

What nonsense. If anybody has capitulated, it is Germany. The German government has just agreed, in principle, to another multibillion-euro bailout of Greece — the third so far. In return, it has received promises of economic reform from a Greek government that makes it clear that it profoundly disagrees with everything that it has just agreed to.

“History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.”

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