Leftest Violence Still As Harmless As Ever

Ah Berlin. I love the smell of barbecue ignition chemicals in the morning.

Car

In the past seven days, the extremists proved true to their claim, starting what could be the most destructive single anti-gentrification action any city in Europe has yet seen. On Saturday, a gang of 40 masked vandals smashed up 28 cars in the area near central Potsdamer Platz, leaving some of them in flames. Attacks continued the following night in the southwestern district of Neukolln, when at least 20 more cars were damaged and shop windows smashed in.

But don’t worry, folks. The Deutsche Welle reassures us that in the wake of two spates of property damage by extremists in Berlin, some news outlets and politicians have warned of a rise in “leftist violence.” But the long-term stats do not bear this out.

Well if it’s only a protest against gentrification, then alles klar (say no more). Why didn’t you say so in the first place? We thought it had something to do with property rights, respect for the law and senseless violence and vandalism again.

The vandals’ weapon of choice is a disposable tinfoil barbecue set of a sort that many German stores sell for use as summer grills in the park.

Greens Ask Germans To Lower Anxiety Level

Explaining that “if more people are carrying weapons it will lead to an escalation rather than a calming of the situation,” German Green spokesperson Irene Mihalic wishes to explain to her unenlightened subjects how the current sharp increase in non-lethal weapons sales over the past three months in Germany is just not nice and ought to be like stopped immediately already, you guys.

Guns

Damn. Why didn’t anybody else think about telling the rabble this before?

Mihalovic, who is Green Party spokesperson for internal security, explained the increase in demand for licenses through a growing sense of insecurity in the population.

Damn number 2. Another clever observation. I may have to rethink my stand on these German Green Shirts after all.

“Nach der Kölner Silvesternacht gibt es viel Aktionismus.”

Tank About It

It’s that jolly, merry, drunken Karneval season again, folks.

Tank

And this tank float here got labeled the “Imtaler Asylum Defense.” Uh oh, we’re gonna get letters… Officials are even looking into hate crime charges.

For some reason, however, this float here is perfectly OK. I guess because Angie’s on it. It’s called “Refugee Wave.”

Reugee Wave

Ein Panzer-Motivwagen mit der Aufschrift „Asylabwehr“ hat bei einem Umzug in Bayern für Empörung gesorgt. Die Behörden ermitteln jetzt wegen Verdacht auf Volksverhetzung. Auch die Aktionen anderer Vereine wurden als fremdenfeindlich kritisiert.

This Is The Monster We Are Supposed To Hate

Get used to her face, too.

Petry

Her name is Frauke Petry and Angela Merkel’s refugee policy fiasco, and her refugee policy fiasco alone, is virtually assuring her party’s entry and establishment in the German political landscape and it is unfortunately too late now to do anything about it.

Petry says outrageous things like “People must stop migrants from crossing illegally from Austria into Germany. If necessary, through the use of firearms. I don’t want this, but the use of armed force is there as a last resort.”

Imagine that, suggesting the use of firearms to protect your borders as a last resort. Unthinkable, right? Well it is here. But the real outrageous part is the first part of what she said. It is outrageous because that is precisely what most Germans want and Chancellor Merkel refuses to respect this. It’s time to close the borders.  It’s been time to close the borders. And it will remain time to close the borders until the borders get closed – presumably following the next election.

Sehe ich so aus, als sei ich unter Druck?

Now We’re Back To Traditional German Numbers Again

Germans don’t generally like any of this namby-pampy, 50/50 stuff when it comes to opinion poll percentage results. Not like the way we often have them in US-Amerika, for instance.

Merkel

Germans like something they call Klarheit (clarity). They always want to know wie der Hase läuft (how the rabbit is running or which way the wind is blowing). Most Germans (80%+?) are still infatuated with our El Presidente, for instance. To this very day. 80%+ would also support the promise of free beer, which pretty much comes down to the same thing, come to think of it (there is no such thing as free beer and El Presidente never happened either, of course).

So it did my heart good to see that  the number is also back up over the 80% mark (and climbing) when it comes to how they feel about their own El Presidente, only she’s a Chancellorente, and a girl: 81% of Germans say Merkel has made a mess of the migrant situation as her popularity hits five-year low.

This is a good thing, I find. If only for the Klarheit. And the rabbit on the run.

Dann ist das nicht mehr mein Land“, hat Angela Merkel gesagt, als man ihr vorwarf, die Flüchtlinge in Deutschland allzu freundlich zu empfangen. Jetzt scheint der Gedanke wahr geworden zu sein.

German Of The Day: Checken

You know, like Checkpoint Charlie checken?

Checkpoint Charlie

Checken means “to get it” in German. To get it as in, I dunno. How about to get it as in finally-now-at last understanding that terrorists really and truly have infiltrated your country as refugees? Are we having denial yet (or still)? Denial will get you nowhere, fast.

German police Thursday arrested two Algerians suspected of links to the Islamic State group after raids targeting several sites, including refugee shelters where some of the suspects lived…

According to information acquired by the Tagesspiegel in Berlin, the former Checkpoint Charlie had been selected as the target of the attack. “As a tourist destination, Checkpoint Charlie was to be hit,” security authorities said.

Nach Informationen des in Berlin erscheinenden “Tagesspiegels” galt der frühere Checkpoint Charlie als Anschlagsziel. “Es sollte mit dem Checkpoint Charlie ein Tourismusziel getroffen werden”, hieß es in Sicherheitskreisen.

 

Never Touch A Running System

Why on earth do the folks over at the Bundeswehr think that they need to have a new camouflage system? The old camouflage is working amazingly well already.

Bundeswehr

Just like that guy up there in the snow, I can hardly find any Bundeswehr soldiers anywhere these days as it is. Not in Iraq, Afghanistan, Mali, you name it.

I also think that they are using some kind of a Klingon Cloaking Device for their tanks and other heavy military equipment, too – for the few pieces of heavy military equipment that are still working. Only they call it a Colonel Klinkon Cloaking Device, of course.

Das Wehrwissenschaftliche Institut hat für die Bundeswehr einen Tarnanzug entwickelt, der auch Nachtsichtgeräte täuschen kann.

Berlinale Increases Security To Protect Crappy Films

With the threat of terrorist attacks in Europe on the rise, organizers at the Berlin International Film Festival are worried that frustrated patrons might actually take action for once and are beefing up security big time this year.

Berlinale

“All measures essential to ensure the safety of these pretentious films of ours from any possible attacks carried out by radicalized festivalgoers and other unwanted guests are being implemented as we speak,” a spokesperson said, more like snarled. “Albeit in an inconspicuous and unobtrusive manner. Not like the way we organize the rest of our awful festival, I mean.”

Wird es auch spezielle Vorführungen für Flüchtlinge geben?

German Roots?

What? Like hair roots? They look like they could have been developed in a German laboratory to me.

Trump

Now we know why this guy rubs so many of us the wrong way. His real name is actually Trumpf. Or it could have been. Sorry, I can’t find a German equivalent for Donald (they even call Donald Duck Donald Duck over here, in case you were wondering).

The ancestors of the “anti-immigrant” crusader Donald Trump come from a small village in western Germany. The documentary film “Kings of Kallstadt” explores the modest roots of the family’s real estate empire.

Frederick Trump immigrated to the US in 1885.

Water Now At Ankle Level

And rising, captain.

Polls

The chancellor and her party’s (and partner party’s) popularity poll ratings: Not wirklich (really) so good at the moment. Some think this might possibly maybe have something to do with her refugee policy.

A current election poll indicates that the popularity of the Union (CDU/CSU) has dropped to its lowest level since July, 2012. The weekly “Sunday trend” by the Emnid opinion research institute taken for the “Bild am Sonntag” newspaper indicates that the CDU and the CSU now have an approval rating of only 34 percent, two percentage points lower than the previous week.

Die Union kommt in einer aktuellen Wahlumfrage auf den schlechtesten Wert seit Juli 2012. Im Emnid-“Sonntagstrend”, den das Meinungsforschungsinstitut wöchentlich für die “Bild am Sonntag” erhebt, erreichen CDU und CSU nur noch 34 Prozent, zwei Prozentpunkte weniger als in der Vorwoche.

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