German Of The Day: König Kunde

That sounds a bit like King Kong but actually means king customer or the customer is king, if you prefer. And it’s nice to be the king, as you well know.

Uncle Sam

For decades, France was the single biggest importer of German goods. But that’s changed now. The United States has taken the pole position among clients for “Made in Germany” goods for the first time.

Seit dem Jahr 1961 kauft kein Land so viele deutsche Produkte wie Frankreich. Das hat sich nun geändert. Und auch damit zu tun, dass Amerika wieder mehr auf die Industrie setzt.

PS: But thank goodness Germany still has its trade with ten foot tall China, too.


Top Speed Ever: 26 Percent

Wind energy is inexhaustible, right? Well, not really. The talk about it is, though.


Researchers now tell us that when it comes to wind parks, due to a saturation effect, the upper limit for natural wind energy produced is one watt per square meter – not the seven watts per square meter as we had been told about before now. This means that a maximum of 26 percent of natural wind energy can be turned into energy here. “The more wind turbines I install, the less energy is produced by the individual turbines.”

“Wind turbines remove kinetic energy from the atmospheric flow, which reduces wind speeds and limits generation rates of large wind farms. These interactions can be approximated using a vertical kinetic energy (VKE) flux method, which predicts that the maximum power generation potential is 26% of the instantaneous downward transport of kinetic energy using the preturbine climatology.”

Maximal 26 Prozent der natürlichen Windenergie lassen sich für Strom nutzen.

NATO’s Eastern European Members

Beautiful German weapon sales of the week.


Because somebody has to admire them.

Military action by Russian-backed groups against Ukrainian government forces has started to nudge policymakers back towards weaponry designed to resist a land assault.

How Do You Want Your ID?

Rare to non-existent, many Germans will tell you. They place them in microwaves here to destroy the RFID chips inside, you see.

Or boil them – if they’re paranoid about microwave ovens, too.

Otherwise most of these folks appear to be able to live normal, somewhat productive lives.

When it comes to privacy, Germans can’t take a joke. After it was revealed that the U.S. National Security Agency had intercepted calls in Germany, sales of old-school typewriters were reported to have skyrocketed, as some Germans assumed that sending letters might make communications surveillance harder for U.S. officials.

It’s not only American surveillance that Germans are concerned about, however. On Tuesday, a 29-year old man was arrested at Frankfurt Airport after authorities noticed that he had microwaved his German identification card, reported German news agency dpa.

I Thought Germany Already Had All Driverless Cars

Just try crossing a busy street here and you’ll see what I mean.


But word is that only one in five Germans would be happy to ride in an autonomous car, according to a survey by Germany automobile industry monitoring association KueS.

I guess Germans just can’t stand the idea of losing control. Over the car that’s already out of control, I mean.

If we took the lead in autonomous vehicles, we could over-take the Germans, the Spanish and the French in a huge new industry. We just need to keep our foot on that accelerator – while browsing some play-lists on Spotify and sending a few e-mails of course.

You Shining Symbol Of Socialist Superiority, You

You’re 50 years old or something. And you’re still ugly as sin.


But I love you, you big dummy.

It took four years to build the prestigious building, and the construction costs were three times higher than initially planned – a fact which only emerged after the fall of the Wall.

Dumb Question

“What Would Have Happened if Germany Had Invaded the U.S. During World War II?”


That’s easy. They would have ended up like this little Canadian robot dude who, like, just tried invading our country or something.

Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love, OK? Nobody ever said anything about robots.

Let’s be honest, whether fair or not, Philadelphia has a certain reputation. It’s a city where football fans booed and threw snowballs at Santa Claus. Baseball fans once threw D cell batteries (the big ones) at visiting outfielder J.D. Drew. And now, it’s where an adorable robot who was only counting on the kindness of strangers to hitchhike across the country was vandalized, effectively ending his summer trip.

German Of The Day: RIAS

That stands for Rundfunk im amerikanischen Sektor and means radio (or broadcasting) in the American Sector – of a place they used to call “West Berlin.”

Now Father Time has managed to take care of something that the East German jamming stations were never able to do back then in the good old bad old days: Shut this broadcasting tower down. With explosives, in this case.

Von Britz aus ging 1946 der Rundfunk im Amerikanischen Sektor (Rias) auf Sendung. Später entstand dort Europas damals leistungsstärkster Mittelwellensender, mit dem jahrelang auch die Störsender aus Ost-Berlin überwunden werden mussten. Heute gilt die Übertragung per Mittelwelle als veraltet.

Historical Monstrosities Historical Monuments

We’re so ugly we’re beautiful.


What few in 1989 wanted was the supposedly dumpy, chronically unfashionable late-1960s buildings around Alexanderplatz, relics of a defunct, unlovable regime that were perceived as having little or no architectural value.

So that’s precisely what we all just got.

The monuments are certainly far from the worst constructions of their time. Best known and most popular is the World Clock, a kitschy but delightful sculpture-cum-timepiece created in 1969 that has long been a popular meeting spot for locals.

Call Of Duty Gamer Accidentally Takes Over German Missile Battery

Or he’s just that good. Apparently the same guy who ruined the Bundestag’s computer network last month, an overzealous German Call of Duty gamer has now managed to get a German Patriot missile battery stationed in Turkey to carry out several strange and “unexplained” orders.


One of them was for pizza, too, I bet.

“I don’t think it’s actually happened, which is not to say that some of these systems are not hackable in some way. It is possible in some way perhaps to detect the presence of it, but anything more than that is going to take some serious skills.”


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