I Had No Idea Germany Used To Be This Fat

But that’s why places like the British Museum have exhibitions like this, I guess.

Map

Germany – memories of a nation. A 600-year history in objects. You know, objects like these:

VW

Uh, why don’t they have exhibitions like this here in Berlin?

This exhibition will examine elements of German history from the past 600 years in the context of the fall of the Berlin Wall 25 years ago.

Germany’s Growth To Be Removed

I mean cut. Yuk. Talk about your gross national product.

Growth

Actually, I mean have its economic-growth forecast for 2014 reduced to 1.2 percent from 1.8 percent.

Jeepers creepers. Is this the end of the beginning of the party or the beginning of the end of the party? Let’s ask two economists and get their five answers and find out.

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!

On the double! And no, you’re not seeing double. Electricity prices have nearly doubled for German consumers since 2000.

Double

So I guess this famous German Energiewende (energy turnaround) is what one could call a two-edged sword. You know, something having a double meaning?

Germans are leading a double life if you ask me. If they still think that this is going to work, I mean. So stop the double-talk already, people. Get this Energiewende nonsense over with on the double before you end up doubled up with laughter – and those men in the white coats come to take you away.

Etwas läuft schief am deutschen Strommarkt: Während Stadtwerke sich seit Jahren über sinkende Strompreise freuen, hat sich der Preis für Verbraucher einer Studie zufolge seit 2000 fast verdoppelt.

Update: Why Germans Always Pay Cash?

Because they can. Take cash-stuffed German mega-companies, for instance.

Cash

They’re buying everything they can find in US-Amerika these days that hasn’t been tied down.

In recent days, two multibillion-dollar deals were announced. On Sunday, the German engineering conglomerate Siemens announced a $7.6 billion acquisition of the Dresser-Rand Group, the United States oil products company. And on Monday morning, Merck of Germany, the chemical and drug giant, said it would pay $17 billion for Sigma-Aldrich, an American life sciences company.

PS: Remember when Japan was going to take over the United States? No, I guess you wouldn’t remember that. Never mind.

Speaking Of The Energiewende…

Or German energy turnaround… It’s really working great!

Strom

The price of electricity for private households in Germany has gone up 38 percent since 2008.

It’s easy to do, all you other countries out there. Just follow Germany’s example and shut down all of your nuclear power plants in a panic and then force through the construction of renewable wind and solar energy plants that are neither energy nor cost-efficient enough and then have them heavily subsidized by these households. That turns things around in no time.

Der Bundesverband der Energie- und Wasserwirtschaft (BDEW) erklärte, der starke Anstieg der staatlich verordneten Steuern, Abgaben und Umlagen in den vergangenen Jahren sei der Grund für den Anstieg der Strompreise für Haushaltskunden. «Hinzu kommen die gestiegenen Kosten für den Netzausbau, der mit dem weiteren Ausbau der erneuerbaren Energien notwendig ist», sagte ein Sprecher des BDEW in Berlin.

Russia Passing Less Gas Than Usual

To Europe, I mean. Do to a “technical disturbance,” it seems. Some 20 to 24 percent less natural gas than agreed to. All of a sudden-like.

Gas

Thank goodness countries like Germany thought ahead and only import a mere 35 percent of the natural gas they need from Russia. Otherwise a dangerous dependency might have developed that could have eventually even threatened the Energiewende itself!

Seit Montag seien die Lieferungen um 20 bis 24 Prozent geringer als in den Vereinbarungen mit dem russischen Energiekonzern Gazprom festgelegt.

Arctic Sea Ice Spiral Of Death?

Wat dann nun (well which one is it then)? Satellite images show that “the Arctic ice crust is melting faster than expected“or

Polar Bear

stunning satellite images show summer ice cap is thicker and covers 1.7 million square kilometres more than 2 years ago.”

I know. It must be both.

The speech by former US Vice-President Al Gore was apocalyptic. ‘The North Polar ice cap is falling off a cliff,’ he said. ‘It could be completely gone in summer in as little as seven years. Seven years from now.’ Those comments came in 2007 as Mr Gore accepted the Nobel Peace Prize for his campaigning on climate change.

PS: The Ozone Hole is also doing really poorly these days and will soon disappear completely. Ozone scientists are therefore justifiably worried about what to worry about next.

What This Town Needs Is A Maximum Security Zoo

Not only do prison inmates in Berlin get to unionize so they can push for a minimum wage and a pension plan, they also get to go on regular visits to Berlin’s famous Zoo called the , uh, Berliner Zoo.

Zoo

But some of these creepy dirtballs ruthlessly take advantage of their prison’s warm-hearted generosity by escaping when the two unsuspecting and unarmed guards accompanying them are caught off guard. While looking at the animals and stuff. In the zoo. Just like somebody called Hassan C. did yesterday. Man oh man. Some of these unionized prison inmates can be real jerks when they’re not in prison.

Wie konnte ihm die Flucht gelingen?

Last Place Again!

The same procedure as last year. The same procedure as every year?

Last Place

The latest education study indicates that when it comes to the 16 German Bundesländer (states) and their school systems, Berlin schools come in 16th again. The states that seem to have their stuff together are Saxony, Thuringia (both in the Evil East!), Bavaria and Baden-Wuerttemberg.

We’re poor but sexy. So we don’t need no education.

Die Hauptstadt erreichte bei dem Vergleich der Bildungssysteme der Bundesländer des arbeitgebernahen Instituts der deutschen Wirtschaft (IW) insgesamt wie im Vorjahr Rang 16.

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