I Love A Parade

For decades, neo-Nazis have traveled to the southeastern German town of Wunsiedel, where Rudolf Hess, Adolf Hitler’s deputy, was buried until 2011. The right-wing extremists march through the town in commemoration of Hess year after year, glorifying the horrors of the Third Reich.

This time, however, everything was different: Although Wunsiedel’s inhabitants had observed the march from a distance over the past years, this Nov. 15, some of them welcomed the neo-Nazi protesters effusively with rainbow confetti and even cheered for them. What had happened?

No, the residents of Wunsiedel — most of them skeptical and critical of the neo-fascists — had not suddenly turned into Nazi sympathizers.

Instead, the group Rights versus Rights (Rechts gegen Rechts) had come up with a new way to protest the annual neo-Nazi march: For every meter the neo-Nazis walked, local businesses and residents would donate $12.50 to a nongovernmental organization devoted to making it easier for neo-Nazis to leave behind their hateful politics.

Günther Jauch Goes Der Schwarze Kanal

Take about slipping into a time warp. Günter Jauch’s exclusive Putin interview last night brought back visions of GDR propaganda and communist commentary vom Feinsten (at its best).

They let Vlad and his hand-picked German Putin-Versteher journalist bud have the platform all to themselves for the first half hour of the show. That was a real scoop alright. A scoop of… A scoop of something that rhymes with scoop. I wonder if Kremlin TV is this good…

Industrie gut, Wachstum gut, alles gut – so stellte Wladimir Putin in der ARD die Lage der russischen Wirtschaft dar, untermauert mit vielen Beispielen. Doch der Faktencheck zeigt: Der Kreml-Chef nimmt es mit der Wahrheit nicht genau.

Anybody Can Land On A Comet

10 years and 6.5 billion kilometers later (give or take a few inches)…

The spaceship Rosetta’s landing probe Philae will be landing on 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. Tomorrow. We hope.

The comet is currently hurtling through space at 24,600 miles per hour and its nucleus is only 2.5 miles wide. Scientists compare the task to a fly trying to land on a speeding bullet.

PS: Why couldn’t they have scheduled this thing to land on 11.11 at 11 o’clock 11 in the morning?

GedächtnisEsser?

You say ‘tomato’, I say ‘tomato’… You say ‘Wesen‘, I say ‘vessen’…

The stupid creature names are fine. What isn’t, however, is that for the entire duration of the show, every single actor on it has mispronounced the very easy German word for creature…

I kept hearing “vessen” this and “vessen” that, and I had no idea what the characters were talking about, until I saw an episode summary on Hulu with what I surmised was that word written out: Wesen, which literally translates to being or creature (from gewesen, of one of the past-tense forms of the verb to be, sein)…

Trouble is, any German 5-year-old will tell you that word is pronounced VAY-zen, with a V sound (which Grimm gets right), a long E (in the German sense—pronounced like in dreidel), and a soft S (that approximates the English Z).

Foreigners Have Lower Chances Of Getting A Job Than Germans Do?

In Germany? Wow, that’s a real shocker. Who would have expected that?

Ausländer

Maybe they’ve been applying at the wrong places, though. This radical Salifist dude here had no trouble getting a job working in the highly sensitive baggage handling section at Düsseldorf Airport, for instance. Despite having an intensive security check done on him first, I mean.

Think positive, folks. You can do it. You just have to get out there and show a little private initiative, I always say.

Der 27-Jährige wird zum Umfeld des deutschen Salafisten Sven Lau gerechnet. Er soll zu jenen Männern gehören, die Anfang September in Wuppertal als “Scharia-Polizei” aufgetreten waren.

PS: “The best thing in sports, period: Game 7.” Go Giants!

A Third Of The World Wants To Work In Germany?

That’s strange because 56 percent of Germans would prefer to work abroad (and 35 percent of those would like to work in the United States).

Jobs

Germany is the number one non-English speaking destination for migrant workers, according to a global study. It ranked as the fourth most popular place to work abroad globally, after the US, UK and Canada respectively. One third of the 200,000 respondents surveyed said they’d like to move to the country.

“German jobseekers don’t necessarily associate going abroad with getting a better job offer or more money. Germans are much more likely than workers elsewhere to say that interesting job content and challenging work assignments are important to them.”

Terrorists Are People, Too

And it would be wrong to hurt their feelings. So that is why German comedian Dieter Nuhr has been reported to the police for anti-Islamic agitation. In Germany. By a Muslim. This guy had the nerve to make fun of Osama bin Laden himself – and Islamic terrorists and “martyrs” in general.

It is unclear if the Muslim who reported him ever reported Osama bin Laden to the police for anti-Islamic agitation, too. But that is beside the point, many hand-wringing Gutmensch-Germans are already pointing out. Islamic terrorists commit their acts in the name of Islam. So by making fun of them you also insult their religion, or so the reasoning must be. Ever feel like you’ve woken up in Wonderland?

„Ich habe kein Verständnis dafür, dass die bei uns lange erkämpfte Meinungsfreiheit nicht mehr ernst genommen wird, wenn sich Islamisten dagegenstemmen.“

I Had No Idea Germany Used To Be This Fat

But that’s why places like the British Museum have exhibitions like this, I guess.

Map

Germany – memories of a nation. A 600-year history in objects. You know, objects like these:

VW

Uh, why don’t they have exhibitions like this here in Berlin?

This exhibition will examine elements of German history from the past 600 years in the context of the fall of the Berlin Wall 25 years ago.

Germany’s Growth To Be Removed

I mean cut. Yuk. Talk about your gross national product.

Growth

Actually, I mean have its economic-growth forecast for 2014 reduced to 1.2 percent from 1.8 percent.

Jeepers creepers. Is this the end of the beginning of the party or the beginning of the end of the party? Let’s ask two economists and get their five answers and find out.

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!

On the double! And no, you’re not seeing double. Electricity prices have nearly doubled for German consumers since 2000.

Double

So I guess this famous German Energiewende (energy turnaround) is what one could call a two-edged sword. You know, something having a double meaning?

Germans are leading a double life if you ask me. If they still think that this is going to work, I mean. So stop the double-talk already, people. Get this Energiewende nonsense over with on the double before you end up doubled up with laughter – and those men in the white coats come to take you away.

Etwas läuft schief am deutschen Strommarkt: Während Stadtwerke sich seit Jahren über sinkende Strompreise freuen, hat sich der Preis für Verbraucher einer Studie zufolge seit 2000 fast verdoppelt.

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