Foreigners Have Lower Chances Of Getting A Job Than Germans Do?

In Germany? Wow, that’s a real shocker. Who would have expected that?

Ausländer

Maybe they’ve been applying at the wrong places, though. This radical Salifist dude here had no trouble getting a job working in the highly sensitive baggage handling section at Düsseldorf Airport, for instance. Despite having an intensive security check done on him first, I mean.

Think positive, folks. You can do it. You just have to get out there and show a little private initiative, I always say.

Der 27-Jährige wird zum Umfeld des deutschen Salafisten Sven Lau gerechnet. Er soll zu jenen Männern gehören, die Anfang September in Wuppertal als “Scharia-Polizei” aufgetreten waren.

PS: “The best thing in sports, period: Game 7.” Go Giants!

A Third Of The World Wants To Work In Germany?

That’s strange because 56 percent of Germans would prefer to work abroad (and 35 percent of those would like to work in the United States).

Jobs

Germany is the number one non-English speaking destination for migrant workers, according to a global study. It ranked as the fourth most popular place to work abroad globally, after the US, UK and Canada respectively. One third of the 200,000 respondents surveyed said they’d like to move to the country.

“German jobseekers don’t necessarily associate going abroad with getting a better job offer or more money. Germans are much more likely than workers elsewhere to say that interesting job content and challenging work assignments are important to them.”

Terrorists Are People, Too

And it would be wrong to hurt their feelings. So that is why German comedian Dieter Nuhr has been reported to the police for anti-Islamic agitation. In Germany. By a Muslim. This guy had the nerve to make fun of Osama bin Laden himself – and Islamic terrorists and “martyrs” in general.

It is unclear if the Muslim who reported him ever reported Osama bin Laden to the police for anti-Islamic agitation, too. But that is beside the point, many hand-wringing Gutmensch-Germans are already pointing out. Islamic terrorists commit their acts in the name of Islam. So by making fun of them you also insult their religion, or so the reasoning must be. Ever feel like you’ve woken up in Wonderland?

„Ich habe kein Verständnis dafür, dass die bei uns lange erkämpfte Meinungsfreiheit nicht mehr ernst genommen wird, wenn sich Islamisten dagegenstemmen.“

I Had No Idea Germany Used To Be This Fat

But that’s why places like the British Museum have exhibitions like this, I guess.

Map

Germany – memories of a nation. A 600-year history in objects. You know, objects like these:

VW

Uh, why don’t they have exhibitions like this here in Berlin?

This exhibition will examine elements of German history from the past 600 years in the context of the fall of the Berlin Wall 25 years ago.

Germany’s Growth To Be Removed

I mean cut. Yuk. Talk about your gross national product.

Growth

Actually, I mean have its economic-growth forecast for 2014 reduced to 1.2 percent from 1.8 percent.

Jeepers creepers. Is this the end of the beginning of the party or the beginning of the end of the party? Let’s ask two economists and get their five answers and find out.

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!

On the double! And no, you’re not seeing double. Electricity prices have nearly doubled for German consumers since 2000.

Double

So I guess this famous German Energiewende (energy turnaround) is what one could call a two-edged sword. You know, something having a double meaning?

Germans are leading a double life if you ask me. If they still think that this is going to work, I mean. So stop the double-talk already, people. Get this Energiewende nonsense over with on the double before you end up doubled up with laughter – and those men in the white coats come to take you away.

Etwas läuft schief am deutschen Strommarkt: Während Stadtwerke sich seit Jahren über sinkende Strompreise freuen, hat sich der Preis für Verbraucher einer Studie zufolge seit 2000 fast verdoppelt.

Update: Why Germans Always Pay Cash?

Because they can. Take cash-stuffed German mega-companies, for instance.

Cash

They’re buying everything they can find in US-Amerika these days that hasn’t been tied down.

In recent days, two multibillion-dollar deals were announced. On Sunday, the German engineering conglomerate Siemens announced a $7.6 billion acquisition of the Dresser-Rand Group, the United States oil products company. And on Monday morning, Merck of Germany, the chemical and drug giant, said it would pay $17 billion for Sigma-Aldrich, an American life sciences company.

PS: Remember when Japan was going to take over the United States? No, I guess you wouldn’t remember that. Never mind.

Speaking Of The Energiewende…

Or German energy turnaround… It’s really working great!

Strom

The price of electricity for private households in Germany has gone up 38 percent since 2008.

It’s easy to do, all you other countries out there. Just follow Germany’s example and shut down all of your nuclear power plants in a panic and then force through the construction of renewable wind and solar energy plants that are neither energy nor cost-efficient enough and then have them heavily subsidized by these households. That turns things around in no time.

Der Bundesverband der Energie- und Wasserwirtschaft (BDEW) erklärte, der starke Anstieg der staatlich verordneten Steuern, Abgaben und Umlagen in den vergangenen Jahren sei der Grund für den Anstieg der Strompreise für Haushaltskunden. «Hinzu kommen die gestiegenen Kosten für den Netzausbau, der mit dem weiteren Ausbau der erneuerbaren Energien notwendig ist», sagte ein Sprecher des BDEW in Berlin.

Russia Passing Less Gas Than Usual

To Europe, I mean. Do to a “technical disturbance,” it seems. Some 20 to 24 percent less natural gas than agreed to. All of a sudden-like.

Gas

Thank goodness countries like Germany thought ahead and only import a mere 35 percent of the natural gas they need from Russia. Otherwise a dangerous dependency might have developed that could have eventually even threatened the Energiewende itself!

Seit Montag seien die Lieferungen um 20 bis 24 Prozent geringer als in den Vereinbarungen mit dem russischen Energiekonzern Gazprom festgelegt.

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