Accidents Do Happen

A German construction company has apologized to the city of Goslar after laying bricks in the shape of a swastika at a new shopping center there (this is the town that finally got up enough civil courage to revoke Adolf Hitler of his honorary citizenship last year, after all).

Swastika

The builders claim that the shape of the bricks was purely accidental but when trying to contact the particular worker responsible to ask him about some other shapes discovered at the shopping center (the Nazi party eagle, several pairs of SS bolts and a big “I Love Adolf” mosaic)  he could no longer be found for questioning.

“We have no leads, we are keeping our options open and investigating. We are speaking to the building firm responsible for the new footpath. They claim it was not deliberate but just an innocent mistake, and have already changed it.”

Why Germans Always Pay Cash?

Like, duh. Because they’re the ones who have it all.

Cash

But the real point isn’t that Germans love cash. It’s that—for the same historical reasons—they loathe debt. (Armchair anthropologists have also long noted that German word for debt—Schulden—comes from the word for guilt, Schuld.)…

In other words, the German tendency to settle up in cash undeniably reflects the fact that for much of the last century, Germany has been either on the brink of, in the midst of, or struggling to recover from, disaster. And traumas like that are bound to leave, if you’ll excuse the pun, a mark.

Nobody Has The Intention Of Building A Wall

Why build just one wall when you can build dozens of them instead?

Walls

Like how un-European is that? This type of shocking and evil thing can only happen in shocking and evil places like US-Amerika or Israel.

Along the frontiers between Spain and Morocco, Greece and Turkey and Hungary and Serbia, the EU is deploying brutal methods to keep out undesired refugees. Many risk everything for a future in Europe and their odysseys too often end in death.

The EU is doing all it can to keep out refugees.

PS: The Germans would be contributing a lot more here but they only have experience with keeping refugees in.

What Goes Around Comes Around

I remember the old Soviet controlled zone here in Germany.

Soviet

But now they want to introduce a Shariah controlled one?

In what government officials say is a blatant challenge to the rule of law and the democratic order in Germany, groups of young bearded Islamists — some wearing orange traffic safety vests emblazoned with the words “Sharia Police” — have declared parts of downtown Wuppertal to be a “Sharia Controlled Zone.”

“Sharia Police: Coming Soon to Your City.”

“If I Want, I Will Take Poland In Two Weeks”

Oops. I meant Kiev, of course

Poland

On September 1, 1939, the German army under Adolf Hitler launched an invasion of Poland that triggered the start of World War II.

Today, 75 years later, Hitler is regarded as one of history’s great villains. So it’s easy to forget how slowly and reluctantly the worlds most powerful democracies mobilized to stop him. France and Britain did declare war on Germany two days after the invasion of Poland, but it would take them another eight months before they engaged in full-scale war with the Nazis. The United States wouldn’t join the war against Hitler until December 1941, a full two years after the war began.

Olympia Opponents Worried Berlin Too Poor (But Sexy) To Pay

Germans in general are famous for being against stuff that isn’t even there to be against yet. But Berliners in particular take it up a notch and like being against the very thought of the idea of the stuff that isn’t even there to be against yet.

Olympia

Take Berlin’s candidacy for the 2024 Olympic Games, for instance. The one that hasn’t even been applied for yet, I mean. A group calling itself NOlympia is absolutely against this non-candidacy business because the non-application itself would cost a whopping 50 million euros alone. Once it were to be a real application, I mean.

And that would only be the start, people. The Olympics here would be an economic catastrophe, meltdown, debacle, or cataclysm even. Like the finances in Berlin are already, for instance. Sure, Berlin may be able to afford an 850 quadrazillion euro airport that still hasn’t been built yet but 50 million for the chance to have your town host the Olympics is absolutely out of the question for anyone out there with even just a little bit of common economic sense.

Do you have any idea what the Olympics would do to the real estate prices in this city, for instance? That’s right. It would increase the value of real estate in Berlin dramatically. And what city could possibly want something like that to happen?

No, no, no. It’s better to say no first and ask questions later. We no what we are doing and there’s no time to lose. Just say no. No tengo dinero. No we can’t already!

“Der olympische Spitzensport lässt sich nicht ökologisch oder nachhaltig bewerten.”

I Thought He’d Never Leave

Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit (SPD) will finally step down on 11 December, after thirteen years in power. Damn. That’s longer than the Third Reich lasted.

Klaus

And talk about chuzpe. This guy took it to a whole new level (just like he took building airports to a whole new level). He’s leaving now of his “own free will.” Before his cronies get around to tossing him out first, in other words. Even the Berlin SPD crowd has finally figured out that Berlin doesn’t “work” because of Wowereit, it works despite him.

Hey, lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende. The Party Klaus is finally over.

Sein drittes Problem: die Stadt. „Arm, aber sexy“, wie der Bürgermeister sie eins beschrieb, das reicht in Wahrheit keinem Berliner mehr. Ihre Stadt, so stellten sie fest, funktioniert nicht wegen Wowereit, sondern trotz Wowereit.

We All Lose Our Heads Once In A While

But how do you lose a 5.6-foot tall one of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin? It’s not easy, but Berlin city authorities can do it.

Lenin

It was the star of Good Bye Lenin, Wolfgang Becker’s tragicomedy set around the fall of the Berlin Wall: a statue of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, suspended from a helicopter, seemingly waving goodbye to the crumbling socialist republic.

But more than two decades after it was torn down, Berlin authorities have admitted the giant monument may be lost in storage.

And You Thought US-Amerika Had Problems With Potholes

A Second World War bomb discovered under one of Germany’s busiest autobahns has blown a 65ft hole in the road after it exploded.

Pothole

Bomb disposal experts were forced to carry out a controlled explosion after being unable to defuse the 1,000lb British shell which was unearthed during construction work.

Der britische Blindgänger war neben der stark befahrenen Autobahn 3 in der Nähe des Frankfurter Flughafens bei Bauarbeiten gefunden worden. Um die Fundstelle wurde eine 1000-Meter-Sicherheitszone eingerichtet. Die Autobahn wurde voll gesperrt, es kam zu kilometerlangen Staus.

The Rise And Fall Of The German-American Volksfest

And fall and fall and fall it has. It’s been falling for at least twenty years now.

Volksfest

They ought to just finally get it over with and pull the plug for good. Like they already have on that other German-American whatever-it-used-to-be.

…At the time, West Germany and the United States were facing the first major postwar crisis in their relations. Many West Germans were protesting against the US war in Vietnam while many others, around 500,000 annually at the time, attended the annual fair, which was then held near the barracks in Berlin’s Dahlem district. They came because they liked the United States or American music — or maybe even its beer.

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