Germans are still enamored of Obama: a poll last week showed 82 percent view him favorably.
It used to be 92 percent so this must have something to do with the time he recently spent in Prism.
Just kidding. The real reason is because there are “gute Amis, böse Amis” (good Yankees and bad Yankees) and the Pres clearly belongs to the good ones, NO MATTER WHAT. I mean, this guy could rape a turtle live on “Wetten, dass..?” and nobody would find anything wrong with it (except the turtle). He’ll be back up to 92 percent here again in no time, in other words.
The bad Yankees are the awful scumbag Republican NSA types who actually did the snooping, by the way.
Damn. Speaking of snooping… He and his crew sure are cool, you’ve got to hand it to them. Even when he’s having them monitor you for your own good (and that whether you’re a tea partier or not). I think I’m going to call them the Cyber Snoop Dogg Pack from here on out. Rat Pack had already been taken.
Germans accuse U.S. of Stasi tactics before Obama visit
Welfare fraud? In Germany? No way.
Way, Ray. Not even forest boys get a free lunch around here in poor but sexy but poor Berlin these days.
The city is sticking Ray with a 30,000 euro bill for all they did for him while he was doing all he could to them for about nine months back in 2011/2012. And they won’t remove that blindfold thingy there until he pays, either.
“Wir haben ihm Essen, Trinken und Kleidung gegeben und sogar einen Sprachkurs finanziert.”
That didn’t take long. After planning to introduce “Herr Professorin” or Mr. Madame Professor at the University of Leipzig for both men and women professors, the FU Berlin is now thinking about doing the same.
Did Delta House dump some LSD in the faculty water cooler over here or something?
“All are equal in Leipzig. All women, that is.”
In Leipzig sind jetzt alle gleich, nämlich Frauen. Professoren gibt’s nicht mehr, nur noch Professorinnen, gemeint bleiben damit natürlich auch noch die männlichen Akademiker, die jedoch nur noch in einer Fußnote erwähnt werden.
If you have your doubts and worries about where your language is going in matters of political correctness, just be glad that you don’t speak German.
Squirming as everyone does these days to find a way to neuter anything and everything that can be neutered because, well, I’m still not quite sure why that is… The University of Leipzig has now made a very important contribution to this valiant endeavor, I think.
In German, calling a man a Professor and a woman a Professorin simply isn’t as geschlechtsneutral (gender-free) as it needs to be in this complex time we live in, it seems. That’s why the head smart folks what’s in charge of proper correct-type language usage here have decided to simply matters drastically. From now on Leipzig professors of either sex will be referred to as “Herr Professorin” or Mr. Madame Professor.
I know, I know. You think that I’m pulling your leg and that this is some kind of a prank or a punk or whatever it is they call it these days, but it isn’t. Honest. It’s here. We’ve come a way long way baby. And this is where we are now.
Mit “Professorin” können somit künftig auch Männer gemeint sein, “Dozentinnen” umfasst sowohl männliche als weibliche Personen.
Germans everywhere were stunned this morning to discover that some 1.5 million of their countrymen had inexplicably disappeared the night before.
“This is just plain eerie,” one woman said. “I didn’t know any of them personally or anything of course, but just the thought that you could vanish like that from one day to the next is enough to make a body want to run away and hide first.”
The big shock came right after breakfast when those remaining of the German population were informed by the Federal Statistical Office that Germany now has a population of 80.2 million people rather than the 81.7 million who had been there just a few hours earlier.
Needless to say, the Federal Police and Bundesnachrichtendienst (Federal Intelligence Service) are working feverously to locate the missing 1.5 million Germans as soon as possible but have not been able to find any hot leads as of yet. They ask that if anyone left in the country should happen to locate this group of missing citizens to please tell them to remain where they are and call the authorities immediately.
Berlin trifft es besonders heftig. Am Freitagmorgen hat die Stadt auf einen Schlag 180.000 Einwohner verloren.
As if the shocking sexual coercion German women force their male sex slaves to endure again and again and again wasn’t bad enough already (and it certainly must be), an even more shocking new study has revealed what many of us have suspected all along: German women also regularly subject their German men to vicious physical abuse of the most cruel and unusual kind.
One Betroffene (person concerned) reports: Hamburg. At first he thought that he would be able to overcome the problems with his girlfriend. This is what Jochen K. (the initial has been changed to protect the innocent) wrote in his diary after she hit him the first time in the face with her fist. He held her back and tried to calm her down. But the attack in the hallway was not to be the last one. His girlfriend turned violent again and again in the following years. She couldn’t come to grips with her problem. Today Jochen K. admits that he must have been crazy to think that he could have overcome this problem alone.
But just what is it that makes these crazy German bitches so violent? Many psychologists and law enforcement experts believe that these men-beating monsters are simply products of their environment and actually victims themselves, having been socialized in a system of matriarchy in which beatings of this nature are simply not taken seriously. These women beat their men because they can, in other words.
So what can YOU do about it, German men? Break the silence. That’s the first step. And then go out and seek help immediately. Preferably in a city far, far away where nobody could possibly know you. And please, whatever you do, never ever use your real name while getting help, not unless you absolutely positively have to. No, I take that back. Don’t even use it then.
“Wenn Männer sich als Opfer an die Polizei wenden, werden oftmals keine Verfahren eröffnet”, sagt K. “Ihnen wird nicht geglaubt.”
It was raining like Katzen and Hunde, after all. So what do you expect?
And, oh yeah. Bayern München won.
Bayern Munich are the club Germans love to hate: There may be some unresolved psychological issues too. The first football chant every German child learns is the Freudian “Zieht den Bayern die Lederhosen aus”: “Pull down the Bavarians’ lederhosen”.
PS: “Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie.”
Socialism, of course, has never worked. Not once. Not in any form.
And German social democracy (like social democracy and their even cheaper imitations everywhere else around the world), although doing its best not to ever actually use the word socialism itself, is of course nothing other than the democratic attempt to reach that very goal. Which has never worked (once “reached”), like I said. But still.
So today the German SPD gets to celebrate its bittersweet 150th birthday — trailing badly in polls ahead of September elections and hearing praise for its efforts to reform Europe’s biggest economy from French President Francois Hollande, a recent left-wing winner who has also lost his luster.
Hey, whatever. More power to them and Happy Birthday and all that because, well, I kind of admire them in a way. But only kind of. They’re like a bunch of nutty professors who simply refuse to believe that their never-ending pursuit of the perpetual motion machine is maybe sort of not such a great idea – and a big waste of time after all. You know, searching for a machine that produces ”motion that continues indefinitely without any external source of energy; impossible in practice because of friction?”
There’s always friction out there, you see. It’s called reality. Or self-interest, if you prefer. Or the desire of individuals to live their lives without interference from others who aren’t interested or able to live their own?
Or maybe just money, in the end. Like Margaret Thatcher once said: “The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” Strange, isn’t it? But that’s the SPD’s problem, too. Happy Birthday anyway! Now just shut up and cut the cake already.
“No other party has been able to last so long, because its core demands have constantly remained relevant in new ways: freedom, social justice and political participation.”
Soaring German energy costs in the wake of the country’s transition to renewable energy have seen more and more firms thinking abut relocating their operations. The US looks like a sound alternative, associations claim.
And this even though everybody (everybody Green or SPD) knows that fracking is EVIL.
“If we don’t get on top of the country’s energy transition to renewables and are not able to rein in energy costs in the process, German industry’s competitiveness stands to suffer.”