German Sommerloch Update: Two New Mysterious Extraterrestrial Phenomena Found Near Berlin

No, not in Friedrichshain. NEAR Berlin. In a place called Großziethen. The Germans in this area call these phenomena “Kornkreise” and they appear to be designs or patterns laid down gently in a growing crop, leaving the surrounding crop untouched. By aliens.

Here is a picture of a German Kornkreis taken earlier this year.

Kornkreis

Needless to say, German Kornkreise are not spread randomly across the countryside but always appear near roads, areas of medium to dense population and Ortschaften (places) like Großziethen where there is obviously very, very little to do.

Two new crop circles have recently appeared in a suburb of Berlin and Dave Keating reports

English Of The Day: Fancy

Flula: “I tried to eat items. You know, food? And I was in a restaurant to eat some food. But the salad that I did like it was having like a weird thing. Some strange cheeses…”

“Get away from my fancy. It’s my fancy.”

Or check out the “he is from, where are you from?” pseudo-dirndl-gal who’s way too excited about learning how to be German. In Los Angeles.

First Sommerloch Monster Sighting Already Over

They don’t usually catch them, this time of year. But they had this guy in the bag in no time.

Kangaroo

Kangaroos in Brandenburg? Why not, they’re in Sauerland and Rheinland these days, too.

I do wonder if Germany’s nature engineers have thought this through thoroughly, however. Didn’t they just reintroduce wolves here reently?

Polizisten, ein Tierarzt und Anwohner haben in Teltow-Fläming stundenlang ein Buschkänguru gejagt. Erst Betäubungspfeile konnten es stoppen.

Sommerloch Tornado Coming This Way!

The German Sommerloch is famous for being the time for scary none-news news reports. It is also famous for being the time for reports about scary non-animal animals, too.

Sharknado

That is why everybody is all hot and bothered right now about that scary low front “Zeljko“ approching Germany as you read this. Many Sommerloch weather forecasters are worried that this could be the beginning of a real live Sommerloch tornado (ignore the fact that Germany doesn’t actually do tornados, please).

Others who prefer to remain anonymous are going to go even further out on the limb and are predicting that “Zeljko“ could turn into the dreaded Sommerloch Sharknado ITSELF!

Im ersten Teil bekämpfen sie die fliegenden Haie in Los Angeles, in Teil zwei in New York und in „Sharknado 3 – Oh Hell No!“ macht sich der Raubtier-Tornado über der gesamten Ostküste der USA breit.

Germans Arrive In Tehran For Piece Talks

Piece of the pie talks, that is.

Roughly four minutes after a deal with world powers over Iran’s nuclear program was reached, Germany’s Economy Minister Sigmar Gabriel flew down to Tehran (and boy are his arms tired) in another selfless attempt to bring more love and understanding to the troubled  region and make tons and tons of money selling German stuff to the moolah-mullahs again in the process.

Iran

German exports to Iran hit 4.4 billion euros in 2005 but then slumped to 1.8 billion by 2013 as the West tightened the sanctions imposed over Iran’s nuclear programme. However, the agreement between Iran and six world powers including Germany has opened the prospect that the sanctions will be removed.

2 Intellectual 4 Me

Nope, this latest Spiegel cover is not what I would call “defamatory or racist.” It’s just particularly stupid. But everybody seems to be having hurt feelings about it and calling each other names because of it and stuff like that, which always warms my heart. So keep running with it, folks.

Spiegel

“Our Greeks – Taking a closer look at a strange people.” Takes one to know one, I guess.

And always remember: “Spiegel readers know more” (one of the magazine’s more popular slogans). And they also love to look down their noses at people who read the Bildzeitung, for instance. There is a big difference, you see? Me, neither.

SPIEGEL-Leser wissen mehr!

Little Oskar Thinking Out Of The Box Again

Well known for his refreshing viewpoints, Mr. ex-SPD, ex-Left, ex-Bolshevist, ex-you-name-it Oskar Lafontaine himself has come up with a brilliant new idea to save Greece from its upcoming euro Grexit exit: Get rid of the euro first.

Oskar

Being the true radical thinker that he is, he seems to have devised a radical new European economic system by which goods or services are directly exchanged for other goods or services without having to use a medium of exchange like dirty, filthy, old (or in his case new) money. And the way things look right now, Greece will be the first country to get the chance to test this out in a big way.

“Der Euro ist ein Rückschritt im historischen Projekt der europäischen Integration. Der Euro ist schon gescheitert, wir dürfen uns da keinen Illusionen hingeben.”

At Last!

Fashion for the rest of us. At Berlin fashion Week. Wear else?

Fashion

And speaking of aliens…

Angela Merkel FORCED to release secret UFO files German government fought to withhold – ALIEN investigators hope the release of German government files on historical UFO sightings will be a milestone in their quest for evidence of extra terrestrial life (when they write ALIEN investigators here they don’t actually mean ALIEN investigators, they mean alien INVESTIGATORS – I think).

“One thing is certain they won’t reveal any secrets about hidden alien technology or alien bodies, but then again we can always hope.”

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