It Costs More To Make Germans Happy

At the happiest place on earth, I mean. When it’s on French earth, that is.

Disyneyland

French visitors pay €1,346 (£950) for a premium package, significantly less that the €1,870 (£1,320) Disneyland charges British visitors – and more than €1,000 (£706) less than the €2,447 (£1727) bill handed to Germans.

I can understand that, sort of. Americans still do get in for free though, right?

Die EU-Kommission geht Vorwürfen nach, dass der Vergnügungspark Disneyland Paris Besucher aus Deutschland und anderen Ländern wegen ihrer Herkunft benachteiligt.

German Of The Day: Bombenstimmung

That means a tremendous, “bomb-like” atmosphere. And that’s definitely the kind of mood some of those fine, wholesome folks down there in that little old one-horse town called Freital, Saxony seem to be in.

Freital

A local politician who supported a plan to house refugees in the town of Freital outside Dresden has been the victim of an arson attack. The Left party said that Michael Richter was the target of right-wing threats…

In recent weeks, Freital – just 10 kilometers (6 miles) southwest of Dresden – has been the scene of increasingly tense political rhetoric and sporadic violence after city authorities announced in June that the town of around 40,000 would house 280 refugees in a former hotel. Some locals responded by launching a series of increasingly virulent anti-asylum seeker demonstrations, culminating in a July 6 town hall meeting which saw protestors clash with town politicians.

Sheesh. Ugly Germans of the week? These folks have now been awarded the entire month of July.

Sommerloch Tornado Coming This Way!

The German Sommerloch is famous for being the time for scary none-news news reports. It is also famous for being the time for reports about scary non-animal animals, too.

Sharknado

That is why everybody is all hot and bothered right now about that scary low front “Zeljko“ approching Germany as you read this. Many Sommerloch weather forecasters are worried that this could be the beginning of a real live Sommerloch tornado (ignore the fact that Germany doesn’t actually do tornados, please).

Others who prefer to remain anonymous are going to go even further out on the limb and are predicting that “Zeljko“ could turn into the dreaded Sommerloch Sharknado ITSELF!

Im ersten Teil bekämpfen sie die fliegenden Haie in Los Angeles, in Teil zwei in New York und in „Sharknado 3 – Oh Hell No!“ macht sich der Raubtier-Tornado über der gesamten Ostküste der USA breit.

The Guy YOU Love To Hate

I pour moi think he’s the greatest. Weiter so (keep it up), Wolfgang!

Schäuble

Despite bitter opposition in many quarters to the austerity-first policies Germany has imposed on Europe’s poorer nations, Chancellor Angela Merkel’s government has hung on to its role as champion of integration on the Continent through deft use of diplomacy and the country’s economic clout.

But in negotiating a new deal this week to bail out Greece, Germany displayed what many Europeans saw as a harder, more selfish edge, demanding painful measures from Athens and resisting any firm commitment to granting Greece relief from its crippling debt. And that perception was fueled on Thursday when the German finance minister, Wolfgang Schäuble, suggested that Greece would get its best shot at a substantial cut in its debt only if it was willing to give up membership in the European common currency (they mean Grexit here, of course, they just don’t like to use the word).

“Ich werbe nur dafür, dass Sie heute nicht meinen – jetzt ist das Thema erledigt, jetzt haben wir noch mal einen da zum Bösewicht erklärt. Ich bin so abgehärtet in einem langen politischen Leben, dass mich das nicht aus der Bahn wirft.”

Historical Monstrosities Historical Monuments

We’re so ugly we’re beautiful.

Berlin

What few in 1989 wanted was the supposedly dumpy, chronically unfashionable late-1960s buildings around Alexanderplatz, relics of a defunct, unlovable regime that were perceived as having little or no architectural value.

So that’s precisely what we all just got.

The monuments are certainly far from the worst constructions of their time. Best known and most popular is the World Clock, a kitschy but delightful sculpture-cum-timepiece created in 1969 that has long been a popular meeting spot for locals.

2 Intellectual 4 Me

Nope, this latest Spiegel cover is not what I would call “defamatory or racist.” It’s just particularly stupid. But everybody seems to be having hurt feelings about it and calling each other names because of it and stuff like that, which always warms my heart. So keep running with it, folks.

Spiegel

“Our Greeks – Taking a closer look at a strange people.” Takes one to know one, I guess.

And always remember: “Spiegel readers know more” (one of the magazine’s more popular slogans). And they also love to look down their noses at people who read the Bildzeitung, for instance. There is a big difference, you see? Me, neither.

SPIEGEL-Leser wissen mehr!

Germany Defeated Yet Again

No, it wasn’t World War III. It was the Endkampf (final battle) for Bailout III. Like, don’t these people ever get tired of surrendering?

Defeat

Europe woke up on Monday to a lot of headlines about the humiliation of Greece, the triumph of an all-powerful Germany and the subversion of democracy in Europe.

What nonsense. If anybody has capitulated, it is Germany. The German government has just agreed, in principle, to another multibillion-euro bailout of Greece — the third so far. In return, it has received promises of economic reform from a Greek government that makes it clear that it profoundly disagrees with everything that it has just agreed to.

“History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.”

Good Thing Germans Have Strict Gun Control Laws

Otherwise a whole lot more people might have gotten killed here.

Ansbach

A man shot and killed two people in the southern German region of Bavaria on Friday, and fired at two others before being apprehended by authorities, police said.

The man, whose identity has not been released, shot a woman at about 6:30 a.m. from his locally-registered Mercedes in the town of Tiefenthal, near Ansbach, police said in a statement.

The woman died at the scene and the man fled in his car, then fatally shooting a man on a bicycle in the nearby town of Rammersdorf, according to police.

The suspect also shot at a pedestrian and the driver of another vehicle, but hit neither, police said.

Der Tatverdächtige war “ein ganz normaler Ansbacher.”

Greeks Apologize And To Pay Back All Debts Tomorrow

The nation of Greece said sorry to the European Union with a present of an enormous wooden horse.

Horse

Left outside the European Central Bank in the dead of night, the horse has now been moved into the ECB’s central lobby where it is proudly on display.

A gift tag attached to the horse, which is surprisingly light for its size and has small holes along the length of its body, suggested that it should be placed in the bank’s vaults overnight to avoid it being targeted by thieves…

Oddly, Greek representatives in Brussels have hinted that they may soon be in a position to settle their debts and have puzzled the French and German banks that hold their loans by asking if there is any discount for cash.

PS: Thanks for the link, A.K.

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