First The Pants

Now a Delorian Zwischenfall (incident) in Hill Valley itself?

What are they smoking on German TV news these days? Maybe this Gleichschaltung stuff isn’t such a bad thing after all.

“Eyewitnesses report that the car appeared to come out of nowhere.”

Marty McFly reiste im zweiten Teil der Filmreihe in die Zukunft – und landete mit seinem DeLorean am 21. Oktober 2015 um genau 16.49 Uhr.

German Of The Day: DFB

That stands for Designed for Bribery.


No, wait. Deceit, Fraud and Blackmail? How about Deception, Fleece and Breach of Trust? Duped, Framed and Bamboozled? OK, OK. DFB stands for Deutscher Fußballbund or the German Football Association. Whichever comes first.

The German Football Association (DFB) is investigating whether a €6.7million payment made to FIFA in 2005 was mis-used. The issue came to light as part of an internal audit carried out by the DFB into the awarding of the 2006 World Cup to Germany.

Der Deutsche Fußball-Bund gibt bekannt, dass eine Zahlung in Höhe von 6,7 Millionen Euro an die Fifa im Jahr 2005 womöglich zweckentfremdet worden sein könnte.

German Media Giving Germans A Distorted Image Of The Migrant Crisis?

No way. Or way?


The German language website Frankfurter Allgemene has reported on how the British media “reports on the crisis differently than the German” media.

The newspaper explains: “When it came to clashes between Hungarian border guards and refugees, the BBC showed young men who threw stones.”

The rioting, fit young men were of course described as “hungry”, “desperate” and “defensive,” but at least the images were shown. The suggestion that such a key part of the developing story was omitted on German TV is a startling one.

“On [German channel] ARD Tagesschau,” Frankfurter Allgemenie reports, “the most dramatic pictures could not be seen – instead, women and children, fleeing the tear gas by security forces [was shown]… German television suggesting disproportionate action by Hungary, however the BBC reported of the “defense of the borders…””

Flüchtlinge sind eine Chance, heißt immerfort. Und das entspricht der Wahrheit. Gleichzeitig jedoch stellen uns die 800 000 Flüchtlinge vor Integrationsprobleme, die offen anzusprechen ein Tabu ist. Menschen, die dies trotzdem tun, werden unbedarft rechts verortet, teils sogar medial beleidigt. Dabei muss das Stellen von Fragen erlaubt sein: Wenn so getan wird, als gäbe es bei hunderttausenden Flüchtlingen keine oder kaum Probleme, können diese auch nicht bekämpft werden.

I Got Your Green Credentials For You Right Here, Pal

“It’s ugly, but it gets you there.” But it’s ugly. And it’s getting uglier by the minute.


The timing of the scandal could not be worse for the government.

Chancellor Angela Merkel is scheduled to travel to New York on Friday to persuade fellow members of the United Nations to adopt climate goals ahead of a UN climate conference in Paris in December.

Merkel sees herself as champion of climate issues and would like to see Germany’s decision to abandon nuclear power and the transition to renewable energy as one of her most lasting legacies.

In June, she helped draw up ambitious carbon emission reduction goals adopted by the Group of Seven (G7) countries.

At the same time, she has always robustly defended the interests of her country’s automakers and postponed the implementation of European emission limits.

German Of The Day: Dreck Am Stecken

That means there is dirt stuck (to you) somewhere or you have dirt under your carpet – as in having done something wrong or illegal.


You know, like Volkswagen has/does in US-Amerika? The company inserted a device into almost 500,000 cars meant to trick emissions testing, the EPA says. Volkswagen is not denying this.

So the next time Germans begin those tiring lectures about doing more for the Umwelt (another German word meaning environment), remember to make sure and check if their emissions are make-believe or not.

There are almost 500,000 vehicles on American roads with the devices installed, according to the EPA. Volkswagen must now pay to repair the emissions systems in affected cars. The government may also fine the company as much as $18 billion.

What To Do When You Get Your Next German Panic Attack

First of all: Don’t panic.

Panic attacks

Then stick your fingers in your ears because you’re probably about to develop an acute case of tinnitus. Because of all off that repressed panic or something.


But don’t panic about that, either. I SAID BUT DON’T PANIC ABOUT THAT, EITHER!

Panikattacken: Einfache Ratschläge gegen Atemnot, Schwitzen und Herzrasen

Who Would Want To Stay In My Crappy Country?

Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban has brushed off calls for Hungary to reconsider its rejection of a fairer redistribution system for refugees across all countries belonging to the European Union by explaining how nobody in their right mind would want to set foot much less spend the night in a rotten country like his. He then named a few other trashy European nations no self-respecting war refugee would want anything to do with, suggesting he could name a whole lot more where those came from.


The problem is not European, it’s German. Nobody would like to stay in Hungary, neither Slovakia, Poland or Estonia. All of them would like to go to Germany,” the well-meaning prime minister said.

Der hässliche Populismus Viktor Orbáns kann nicht über die eigentliche Ursache der Flüchtlingskrise hinwegtäuschen: Die EU hat das Thema Migration völlig unterschätzt.

German Sommerloch Update: Two New Mysterious Extraterrestrial Phenomena Found Near Berlin

No, not in Friedrichshain. NEAR Berlin. In a place called Großziethen. The Germans in this area call these phenomena “Kornkreise” and they appear to be designs or patterns laid down gently in a growing crop, leaving the surrounding crop untouched. By aliens.

Here is a picture of a German Kornkreis taken earlier this year.


Needless to say, German Kornkreise are not spread randomly across the countryside but always appear near roads, areas of medium to dense population and Ortschaften (places) like Großziethen where there is obviously very, very little to do.

Two new crop circles have recently appeared in a suburb of Berlin and Dave Keating reports

Call Of Duty Gamer Accidentally Takes Over German Missile Battery

Or he’s just that good. Apparently the same guy who ruined the Bundestag’s computer network last month, an overzealous German Call of Duty gamer has now managed to get a German Patriot missile battery stationed in Turkey to carry out several strange and “unexplained” orders.


One of them was for pizza, too, I bet.

“I don’t think it’s actually happened, which is not to say that some of these systems are not hackable in some way. It is possible in some way perhaps to detect the presence of it, but anything more than that is going to take some serious skills.”


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