Olympia Opponents Worried Berlin Too Poor (But Sexy) To Pay

Germans in general are famous for being against stuff that isn’t even there to be against yet. But Berliners in particular take it up a notch and like being against the very thought of the idea of the stuff that isn’t even there to be against yet.

Olympia

Take Berlin’s candidacy for the 2024 Olympic Games, for instance. The one that hasn’t even been applied for yet, I mean. A group calling itself NOlympia is absolutely against this non-candidacy business because the non-application itself would cost a whopping 50 million euros alone. Once it were to be a real application, I mean.

And that would only be the start, people. The Olympics here would be an economic catastrophe, meltdown, debacle, or cataclysm even. Like the finances in Berlin are already, for instance. Sure, Berlin may be able to afford an 850 quadrazillion euro airport that still hasn’t been built yet but 50 million for the chance to have your town host the Olympics is absolutely out of the question for anyone out there with even just a little bit of common economic sense.

Do you have any idea what the Olympics would do to the real estate prices in this city, for instance? That’s right. It would increase the value of real estate in Berlin dramatically. And what city could possibly want something like that to happen?

No, no, no. It’s better to say no first and ask questions later. We no what we are doing and there’s no time to lose. Just say no. No tengo dinero. No we can’t already!

“Der olympische Spitzensport lässt sich nicht ökologisch oder nachhaltig bewerten.”

Togetherness

SPD party whip Thomas Oppermann has found it necessary to interrupt his clearly less than busy summer vacation to explain to Germans who already know that it is the United States ITSELF that is directly responsible for the rise of the ISIS terrorist group and their atrocities in Iraq.

Oppermann

The American intervention and overthrow of Saddam Hussein ten years ago, so the reasoning goes, ruined the “togetherness” that had predominated under the peoples and religions down there up until then. While their fearless leader was still around to take care of things like togetherness and stuff like that, I mean. Whatever.

But not to worry, folks. Six (that’s the number between five and seven) German soldiers have now been sent to the area to calm things down and clean things up.

Personally, I think that this guy needs to extend his vacation another month. He’s obviously stressed out and can’t see very clearly at the moment. Not only do Germans get terribly stressed out just watching TV (while on vacation or otherwise), a new study also indicates that the enormous stress Germans are generally under can lead to vision impairment, too.

Die US-Intervention habe das Miteinander der Völker und Religionen im Irak zerstört.

If BND Spying On Turkey Is “Necessary”…

Then NSA spying on Germany most certainly is.

Turkey

The German government faced an angry reaction from Turkey and accusations of hypocrisy from its own opposition on Monday after media reports that its intelligence agency spied on its NATO ally.

“Dass ein geheimer Nachrichtendienst dort Erkenntnisse sammelt, kann man ihm nicht vorwerfen. Das ist seine Aufgabe.”

“Friends Don’t Spy On Friends”

Somebody said that once, not all to0 long ago, after some NSA Aufregung (excitement) about something somewhere. I forget where. But I couldn’t agree more. So, uh, where’s the outrage now?

Turkey

Now that Germany’s intelligence agency BND has revealed that NATO ally Turkey is one of five countries it is spying on, I mean.

Outrage won’t be necessary this time, I guess. It appears that Germany is finally coming clean and ready to admit to the world that Turkey has officially reached non-friend status so spying in this case is allowed.

Hey, what goes around comes around.

The news reports (of NSA spying in Germany) outraged Germans, leading to favorable attitudes about the United States falling to their lowest levels in years and creating a public and private sense of mistrust. Merkel has repeatedly called the U.S. spy program a breach of trust and noted that “friends don’t spy on friends.”

German Of The Day: “Sowas sagt man nicht!”

That’s no way to talk!

DGB

Just ask this lady here. Her name is Gitta Connemann and she is a member of German parliament (CDU) who just got uninvited as the main speaker at an anti-war event sponsored by the big German DGB union for making Israel-friendly comments. And they were shocking as hell, too.

This broad actually had the nerve to say “Every death is one too many but Israel has been shot at since 2006 and has the right to protect itself.”

What on earth was she thinking? Political sensitivity is clearly not her cup of chai.

“Jeder Tote ist zu viel. Aber seit 2006 wird Israel beschossen und hat ein Recht auf Selbstverteidigung.”

“How Realistic Is An Anti-Stress Law?”

Well, in the real world… Not at all. But here in Germany…

Stress

Employment minister Andrea Nahles (SPD) wants to review the situation to see if an anti-stress law can be introduced. The number of stress-related illnesses continues to rise in this country.

If this wasn’t so funny it would be serious. The problem is that nobody who reads this here is laughing. That makes this much more serious than I thought. Which isn’t funny.

Die SPD und Gewerkschaften fordern erneut eine gesetzliche Anti-Stress-Verordnung. Kann gesetzlich geregelt werden, dass der Chef seine Mitarbeiter nicht anrufen darf?

Der Spiegel Bugs Israel Bugging Kerry Bugging Everybody Else

According to secret Spiegel bugging sources, the Israeli intelligence service has bugged telephone conversations made by American Secretary of State John Kerry while he was busy bugging anyone he could find in the Middle East and elsewhere who might possibly be interested in negotiating a peaceful solution to the current Gaza crisis.

Kerry

Spiegel sources refused to go into detail here but did confirm that all of these telephone calls were very short ones.

Der israelische Geheimdienst hat offenbar Telefonate von US-Außenminister Kerry abgehört. Nach SPIEGEL-Informationen nutzte die Regierung in Jerusalem die so gewonnenen Erkenntnisse bei Verhandlungen zum Nahost-Konflikt.

More Benevolent Über-Government Intervention In Action

It goes like this: An EU regulation forces Osram and the rest of the industry to shift from traditional light bulbs to light-emitting diodes. They are smaller, more energy-efficient, have longer lifespans than traditional bulbs (except that they don’t really), are very much more expensive and must therefore be forced down the consumer’s throat and, well, everybody here hates the damned things and wants their old light bulbs back.

Light

The benevolent part? Now 8,000 Osram workers lose their jobs because of this.

„Durch die EU-Verordnung ist das traditionelle Glühbirnen-Massengeschäft von Osram weggebrochen. Dort war Osram führend.“

US-Amerika Responsible For Rising German Carbon Dioxide Emissions

We all knew somehow that the Germans themselves could not be responsible for this. Now we know why.

Coal

Coal mining’s demise in Germany comes as the country is experiencing a resurgence in coal-fired power, one which the U.S. increasingly has helped supply. U.S. exports of power plant-grade coal to Germany have more than doubled since 2008.

“This is a classic case of political greenwashing.”

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