Tag Archives: Airports

Berlin Brandenburg Airport Finished After All

April 7, 2013 By in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And in a record time of six months, too!

Lego

Now located at the city’s LEGOLAND Discovery Center, Berlin’s stunning new Willy Brandt International Airport is said to be made up of some 100,000 bricks.

Critics say that that the difficulties with handling today’s complex technology have been compounded by hasty, negligent work due to the intense time pressures. Underlying these problems appears to be a culture of political dishonesty. “Many politicians want prestigious large-scale projects to be inseparably connected with their names.”

Axeman With Nothing To Axe

March 8, 2013 By in Heconomy, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Hey, nobody else wanted the job.

Mehdorn

Hartmut Mehdorn, former Deutsche Bahn boss, will now be taking over the unbelievable mess some here refer to as Berlin’s international airport or BER. I mean, it’s not really an airport, of course. It’s an urban myth maybe, or a spooky ghost town place or a money-guzzling black hole or maybe even all three of those things, but it ain’t no airport.

Anyways, Mehdorn turned things around by being a tough restructurer at the Deutsche Bahn and Air Berlin. You know, he axed a lot of stuff, people included (that’s why nobody likes him in Germany – there can never be any “losers” here). But how can you be a tough restructurer for something that doesn’t have any structure? Chaos theory is chaos theory and what’s more chaotic than the non-existent Berlin Internatinal Airport? Or did I miss something again and is it in a parallel universe we just haven’t been able to reach yet?

Good luck or something.

“Sie haben mich geholt, jetzt müssen sie mich auch aushalten.”

Klaus Wowereit Unpopular In Berlin For Some Reason These Days

February 5, 2013 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

According to the latest Forsa poll taken here in Berlin, only a small number of Berlin voters hold Berlin mayor Klaus Wowereit to be trustworthy, straightforward, competent, able to take criticism and work in a team.

Klaus

So like what’s the problem, right? He’s the perfect political animal.

No, but seriously folks… He’s so disliked at the moment that only two Pirate party politicians are less popular than he is. Party Klaus, I take my Hut off to you!

Nur eine Minderheit der Bürger hält Wowereit für glaubwürdig, gradlinig, kompetent, kritik- und teamfähig. Der einzige Wert, bei dem er im Vergleich zu früheren Umfragen zulegte, ist das Machtbewusstsein.

A Boy Named Sue

January 21, 2013 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

As in I’ll sue you! Geez. Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit is all touchy these days for some reason. The guy clearly can’t lighten up and take a joke. Not like in the good old Party Klaus days, I mean.

Olivia and Klaus

Now he’s even unleashed his lawyer after German transvestite Olivia Jones made a suggestive comment about him (Klaus) and her, I mean him (Olivia) on trash TV’s finest: Jungle Camp.

Wait a minute. Shouldn’t she ought to sue herself for suggesting that she had anything to do with Klaus Wowereit? I sure the hell would. Talk about defamation of character.

„Wowereit? Ist das nicht dein … dein … dein …“ „Ja – aber das war doch nur einmal!“

How About Berlin Brandenburg Willy-Nilly Instead?

January 15, 2013 By in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Or maybe Berlin Brandenburg Infamy International?

Willy

For now, Berlin’s new airport is officially called Willy Brandt Airport after the former Germ chancellor and Nobel Peace Prize winner widely acknowledged to have been one of post-war Germany’s greatest leaders.

But the image of the airport has been tarnished so heavily by the construction fiasco surrounding it that the Willy Brandt Foundation appears to regret the choice of name.

“Willy Brandt would probably turn in his grave if he knew that he’s supposed to give his name to this catastrophic airport.”

Going, Going…

January 7, 2013 By in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Not quite gone. But just give this a little more time to ripen. One thing’s for sure: Klaus Wowereit (SPD) will definitely be gone as mayor before Berlin’s international airport ever opens – now pushed back to 2014.

Klaus

Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit stepped down on Monday as head of a board overseeing the building of the city’s new international airport after yet another delay in the project dealt a fresh blow to Germany’s reputation for efficiency.

But Wowereit told a news conference he would not resign as mayor, despite calls for him to step down, due to the debacle over Willy Brandt International Airport, which was originally planned to open in 2008.

How’s that saying go? Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende. That is, it’s better to make a painful break than draw out the agony. And funny, I wouldn’t find a break like that painful at all.

“It’s over, Klaus.”

“We’re going to prove that three public-sector owners can build a project like this,”

November 23, 2012 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Wowereit said.

The investigation into the massive delays in opening Berlin’s new BER international airport have begun. Managers have been fired and architects have been sued — but what about the capital’s mayor, who has led the prestige project since 2001?

…Hochtief executives quickly learned that the project had changed since Wowereit had been put in charge. Now the walls were to be covered with expensive walnut veneer paneling. The roof was to be built in a futuristic, free-floating design. And the granite used for the floors at other major airports, like Hamburg and Düsseldorf, was no longer good enough. Berlin’s new terminal had to have expensive Jura limestone floors instead.

…Wowereit, a member of the center-left Social Democratic Party (SPD), also recognized early on that the one person who doesn’t hold any share of the blame is Wowereit himself.

“I don’t see what concrete accusations should be leveled against the supervisory board,” says Wowereit.

Berlin Air Show To Be Held At Creepy Unfinished Ghost Airport

September 10, 2012 By in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

In a move meant to liven up the world’s oldest and perhaps stodgiest air and space trade fair, organizers of Germany’s ILA have decided to hold this year’s show on the grounds of Berlin’s infamous haunted Berlin-Brandenburg Ghost Airport.

Local legend has it that the abandoned ghost airport, originally planned to actually be completed one day and used as a real airport with real airplanes and passangers and the whole bit, fell under the curse of a group of disgruntled Brandenburg witches protesting potential Fluglärm (fly-over noise) and can never be completed until Berlin’s city government presents its first balanced budget or hell freezes over, whichever comes first.

A spotless new runway, so far unused for commercial flights, will finally feel the burn of rubber.

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