Now We’re Back To Traditional German Numbers Again

Germans don’t generally like any of this namby-pampy, 50/50 stuff when it comes to opinion poll percentage results. Not like the way we often have them in US-Amerika, for instance.

Merkel

Germans like something they call Klarheit (clarity). They always want to know wie der Hase läuft (how the rabbit is running or which way the wind is blowing). Most Germans (80%+?) are still infatuated with our El Presidente, for instance. To this very day. 80%+ would also support the promise of free beer, which pretty much comes down to the same thing, come to think of it (there is no such thing as free beer and El Presidente never happened either, of course).

So it did my heart good to see that  the number is also back up over the 80% mark (and climbing) when it comes to how they feel about their own El Presidente, only she’s a Chancellorente, and a girl: 81% of Germans say Merkel has made a mess of the migrant situation as her popularity hits five-year low.

This is a good thing, I find. If only for the Klarheit. And the rabbit on the run.

Dann ist das nicht mehr mein Land“, hat Angela Merkel gesagt, als man ihr vorwarf, die Flüchtlinge in Deutschland allzu freundlich zu empfangen. Jetzt scheint der Gedanke wahr geworden zu sein.

German Of The Day: Checken

You know, like Checkpoint Charlie checken?

Checkpoint Charlie

Checken means “to get it” in German. To get it as in, I dunno. How about to get it as in finally-now-at last understanding that terrorists really and truly have infiltrated your country as refugees? Are we having denial yet (or still)? Denial will get you nowhere, fast.

German police Thursday arrested two Algerians suspected of links to the Islamic State group after raids targeting several sites, including refugee shelters where some of the suspects lived…

According to information acquired by the Tagesspiegel in Berlin, the former Checkpoint Charlie had been selected as the target of the attack. “As a tourist destination, Checkpoint Charlie was to be hit,” security authorities said.

Nach Informationen des in Berlin erscheinenden “Tagesspiegels” galt der frühere Checkpoint Charlie als Anschlagsziel. “Es sollte mit dem Checkpoint Charlie ein Tourismusziel getroffen werden”, hieß es in Sicherheitskreisen.

 

Never Touch A Running System

Why on earth do the folks over at the Bundeswehr think that they need to have a new camouflage system? The old camouflage is working amazingly well already.

Bundeswehr

Just like that guy up there in the snow, I can hardly find any Bundeswehr soldiers anywhere these days as it is. Not in Iraq, Afghanistan, Mali, you name it.

I also think that they are using some kind of a Klingon Cloaking Device for their tanks and other heavy military equipment, too – for the few pieces of heavy military equipment that are still working. Only they call it a Colonel Klinkon Cloaking Device, of course.

Das Wehrwissenschaftliche Institut hat für die Bundeswehr einen Tarnanzug entwickelt, der auch Nachtsichtgeräte täuschen kann.

Berlinale Increases Security To Protect Crappy Films

With the threat of terrorist attacks in Europe on the rise, organizers at the Berlin International Film Festival are worried that frustrated patrons might actually take action for once and are beefing up security big time this year.

Berlinale

“All measures essential to ensure the safety of these pretentious films of ours from any possible attacks carried out by radicalized festivalgoers and other unwanted guests are being implemented as we speak,” a spokesperson said, more like snarled. “Albeit in an inconspicuous and unobtrusive manner. Not like the way we organize the rest of our awful festival, I mean.”

Wird es auch spezielle Vorführungen für Flüchtlinge geben?

German Roots?

What? Like hair roots? They look like they could have been developed in a German laboratory to me.

Trump

Now we know why this guy rubs so many of us the wrong way. His real name is actually Trumpf. Or it could have been. Sorry, I can’t find a German equivalent for Donald (they even call Donald Duck Donald Duck over here, in case you were wondering).

The ancestors of the “anti-immigrant” crusader Donald Trump come from a small village in western Germany. The documentary film “Kings of Kallstadt” explores the modest roots of the family’s real estate empire.

Frederick Trump immigrated to the US in 1885.

Water Now At Ankle Level

And rising, captain.

Polls

The chancellor and her party’s (and partner party’s) popularity poll ratings: Not wirklich (really) so good at the moment. Some think this might possibly maybe have something to do with her refugee policy.

A current election poll indicates that the popularity of the Union (CDU/CSU) has dropped to its lowest level since July, 2012. The weekly “Sunday trend” by the Emnid opinion research institute taken for the “Bild am Sonntag” newspaper indicates that the CDU and the CSU now have an approval rating of only 34 percent, two percentage points lower than the previous week.

Die Union kommt in einer aktuellen Wahlumfrage auf den schlechtesten Wert seit Juli 2012. Im Emnid-“Sonntagstrend”, den das Meinungsforschungsinstitut wöchentlich für die “Bild am Sonntag” erhebt, erreichen CDU und CSU nur noch 34 Prozent, zwei Prozentpunkte weniger als in der Vorwoche.

Alles wie Immer*

When it comes to reliable news sources, I mean – ‘Refugee’: A keyword that gets German media every time.

Refugee

Let’s see. Here’s what’s coming out of German media outlets these days: A dead refugee who isn’t, a thirteen-year-old girl raped by refugees who wasn’t and a hand grenade attack at a refugee facility done with a hand grenade that doesn’t explode… Tell me when to stop or something.

Police said the grenade still contained its explosives but it was not clear whether it still had a detonator. Forensics experts are investigating.

* alles wie immer means the same as always.

You Can Only Buy So Much Pepper Spray

Damn. These are gettin’ to be purty near amerikanische Verhältnisse, folks.

Guns

For weeks arms sellers and regulatory agencies have seen increased demand for gun permits. Enrollment in self-defense courses is also up. Police say that is not yet a problem…

Germany has strict gun laws which stipulate that weapons may only be purchased under very specific circumstances. But with the so-called small arms permit, citizens are allowed to own weapons, such as gas cartridge guns or signal pistols. These may also be carried outside the home. The permit costs between 50 and 60 euros and the only restriction is that the applicant be a minimum 18 years of age.

PS: Dead refugee who died waiting in line outside a Berlin government office yesterday turned out to be not nearly as dead as originally reported. Uh, why is everyone in Germany prepared to believe a story like that and nobody wants to hear about a story like this?

And speaking of Sweden

German Angst Is Back?

What do you mean, back? Did it like step out for a quick cigarette when nobody was looking or something? I certainly never saw it leave.

Angst

I mean, Germans have angst when they don’t even need to have any angst (it’s “the German lifeblood“). That’s why they qualify German ‘angst’ with the ‘German’ part. They’re sure as hell going to have some angst whenever there’s a good reason to have angst. Talk about your no-brainer.

Here, help me answer these:

– Do we react more skittishly to change than others?

– What unnerves the Germans so much about this large influx of refugees? Is it fear of terror, or concern about rising crime, or diluting the culture?

– Are we being overcome by a fear of the future?

– Is there a typical anxious German?

– Is the political landscape in Germany fundamentally changing?

I’m glad you asked me that, Deutsche Welle. The answer here is, of course, yes.

Speaking Of Driving…

I don’t think the question they should be asking here is “What is driving Angela Merkel?

Merkel

It ought to be “What kind of industrial strength hallucinogenics is she on at the moment and where can I get some, please?” Let’s face it, folks. Whatever that stuff is it’s working REAL GOOD.

Or maybe they’re just really, really, really strong sedatives?

Chancellor Angela Merkel spent a decade amassing political capital. Now, with the refugee crisis showing no signs of abating, she has decided to spend it. With her legacy in the balance, she has finally found an issue to fight for. But why now?

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