Here’s Another One Of Those “You Must Have Confused Me With Somebody Who Gives A S#?$&”T!”

So. Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit knew for quite some time now that his SPD Culture Minister buddy André Schmitz had some funny money hiding in Switzerland (everybody‘s doing it these days) and just pretended that this problem would eventually go away all by itself. Well it didn’t, of course, and Schmitz has now had to resign and the mayor is in deep Scheiße about this right now or something, right?

WOWI

Well any other politician would be but you clearly don’t understand with whom we’re dealing with here (unless you do understand). This is Klaus Wowereit HIMSELF (some call him Wowi – with that “v” sound, of course). This is the same guy who “did” the Berlin Airport that still hasn’t been done yet and will end up costing eighty-five quadrillion bazillion euros before it ever does get done, if at all.

Do you think there have been any consequences for that? Hardly. If anything, Wowereit got rewarded for his Engagement (commitment) by being put right back on as the “new” chairman of the board of the Berlin Brandenburg Airport Company after the “old” one had proven just how clueless he had been and had been forced to leave (that had been Klaus Wowereit too, of course).

Why is this guy always free from sin? Beats the hell out of me. There’s teflon, dann kommt eine ganze Weile gar nichts (then you can go on for a long, long while – way past normal teflon), and then there’s Klaus Wowereit teflon. He’s on his ski vacation right now and simply couldn’t be bothered by any of this. And he’s laughing his ass off all the way down the slopes I bet. Damn. Nice job if you can get it.

Kann ein Kinderschänder ein guter Bildungsminister sein?

Only In Berlin

Speaking of paying more for more of nothing

Wowereit

Berlin mayor Klaus Wowereit (SPD), the guy personally responsible for the German capital’s world renown BER Berlin Brandenburg still-not-an-Airport project, will be chosen later today to become the new chairman of the board of the Berlin Brandenburg Airport Company and thus once again become personally responsible for the German capital’s world renown BER Berlin Brandenburg still-not-an-Airport project.

What part of that don’t you understand? I don’t understand any of it. All I know is that if this were a comedy project we were talking about here it would be a raving success.

Wowereit had already been chairman of the board for the Berlin Brandenburg Airport Company from 2008 to 2013 (not all that long ago), of course, until some trifling misunderstanding cropped up about the airport still not being completed after 10 or 20 years or something like that, I forget, but that is all now Schnee von gestern (long forgotten, “yesterday’s snow”) and everything will be OK again because if there is any one person in all of Germany who can possibly get this job done it is most definitely and certainly Klaus Wowereit himself.

By the way, he has to be reelected today because there is no other opposing candidate. Don’t be bothered by that, though. That kind of thing has a long tradition here in Berlin.

Ausgerechnet der vielgeschmähte Klaus Wowereit soll erneut den Aufsichtsrat der Flughafengesellschaft führen. Er erhält damit eine zweite Chance, das Projekt doch noch zum Erfolg zu führen.

PS: There’s more Klaus stuff here, if you like.

Stress ohne Grund

Huh? German Rapper Bushido is going to get charges pressed against him just because he put out a song with lyrics against Klaus Wowereit and Claudia Roth (among other things)? Like, what’s wrong with that?

Bushido

I think the real reason they’re giving him trouble is because his name begins with Bush.

“Ich schieß auf Claudia Roth.”

Quatsch

Nonsense, Berliner SPD politicians insist, when it comes to the persistent rumor around town these days that Klaus Wowereit has finally had enough and is willing to make everybody happy and resign already for cryin’ out load.

Klaus

I would accept this explanation if it weren’t for the fact that they are also saying things like „absoluter Quatsch,“ „eine Quatsch-Debatte,“ „wirklich Quatsch“ and „auch das ist Quatsch,“ too.

Ja, eine „Quatsch-Debatte“ sei das, dass der Regierende Bürgermeister, wie es in der Boulevardzeitung BZ zu lesen war, keine Lust mehr aufs Regieren habe und angesichts mieser Umfragen und ebensolcher Aussichten plane, noch vor der Sommerpause seinen Rücktritt bekannt zu geben.

Berlin Brandenburg Airport Finished After All

And in a record time of six months, too!

Lego

Now located at the city’s LEGOLAND Discovery Center, Berlin’s stunning new Willy Brandt International Airport is said to be made up of some 100,000 bricks.

Critics say that that the difficulties with handling today’s complex technology have been compounded by hasty, negligent work due to the intense time pressures. Underlying these problems appears to be a culture of political dishonesty. “Many politicians want prestigious large-scale projects to be inseparably connected with their names.”

Klaus Wowereit Unpopular In Berlin For Some Reason These Days

According to the latest Forsa poll taken here in Berlin, only a small number of Berlin voters hold Berlin mayor Klaus Wowereit to be trustworthy, straightforward, competent, able to take criticism and work in a team.

Klaus

So like what’s the problem, right? He’s the perfect political animal.

No, but seriously folks… He’s so disliked at the moment that only two Pirate party politicians are less popular than he is. Party Klaus, I take my Hut off to you!

Nur eine Minderheit der Bürger hält Wowereit für glaubwürdig, gradlinig, kompetent, kritik- und teamfähig. Der einzige Wert, bei dem er im Vergleich zu früheren Umfragen zulegte, ist das Machtbewusstsein.

A Boy Named Sue

As in I’ll sue you! Geez. Berlin’s mayor Klaus Wowereit is all touchy these days for some reason. The guy clearly can’t lighten up and take a joke. Not like in the good old Party Klaus days, I mean.

Olivia and Klaus

Now he’s even unleashed his lawyer after German transvestite Olivia Jones made a suggestive comment about him (Klaus) and her, I mean him (Olivia) on trash TV’s finest: Jungle Camp.

Wait a minute. Shouldn’t she ought to sue herself for suggesting that she had anything to do with Klaus Wowereit? I sure the hell would. Talk about defamation of character.

„Wowereit? Ist das nicht dein … dein … dein …“ „Ja – aber das war doch nur einmal!“

Going, Going…

Not quite gone. But just give this a little more time to ripen. One thing’s for sure: Klaus Wowereit (SPD) will definitely be gone as mayor before Berlin’s international airport ever opens – now pushed back to 2014.

Klaus

Berlin Mayor Klaus Wowereit stepped down on Monday as head of a board overseeing the building of the city’s new international airport after yet another delay in the project dealt a fresh blow to Germany’s reputation for efficiency.

But Wowereit told a news conference he would not resign as mayor, despite calls for him to step down, due to the debacle over Willy Brandt International Airport, which was originally planned to open in 2008.

How’s that saying go? Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende. That is, it’s better to make a painful break than draw out the agony. And funny, I wouldn’t find a break like that painful at all.

“It’s over, Klaus.”

“We’re going to prove that three public-sector owners can build a project like this,”

Wowereit said.

The investigation into the massive delays in opening Berlin’s new BER international airport have begun. Managers have been fired and architects have been sued — but what about the capital’s mayor, who has led the prestige project since 2001?

…Hochtief executives quickly learned that the project had changed since Wowereit had been put in charge. Now the walls were to be covered with expensive walnut veneer paneling. The roof was to be built in a futuristic, free-floating design. And the granite used for the floors at other major airports, like Hamburg and Düsseldorf, was no longer good enough. Berlin’s new terminal had to have expensive Jura limestone floors instead.

…Wowereit, a member of the center-left Social Democratic Party (SPD), also recognized early on that the one person who doesn’t hold any share of the blame is Wowereit himself.

“I don’t see what concrete accusations should be leveled against the supervisory board,” says Wowereit.

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