Let’s get this party started!

It’s official. Berlin police will act immediately and systematically as soon as there is any violence – tomorrow.

You know, tomorrow during Berlin’s vaguely political and completely nonsensical annual May Day riots.

And just in case you’re in town and interested, please get in touch with this guy. He’s your friendly neighborhood left-wing extremist tour guide. The capitalist Schwein.

Die Polizei wird konsequent und unverzüglich einschreiten, sobald Gewalt da ist.”


Sue Google

No, not Susan Google. You know, like in I’m gonna sue you?

And that’s what this artist lady over here in Germany tried to do (her name’s not Sue either, by the way).

Her gripe and/or argument? She got all hot and POed at Google for having the audacity to actually display in Google Bilder (Images) the very pictures she was displaying in the Internet her own damned self.

None of this Aufregung (excitement) flew with the German Federal Supreme Court, however, believe it or not. They said, in essence: If you didn’t want Google to display your pictures, you could have prevented them from doing so, which of course she could have and still can.

Damn. That’s way too much common sense for me. The Federal Supreme Court, in Germany of all places. These old codgers are behind the times with a capital B – for Bilder?

Die Klägerin unterhalte eine eigene Internetseite, auf der sie Abbildungen ihrer Kunstwerke eingestellt habe. Daher sei die Künstlerin mit der Anzeige ihrer Werke „im Rahmen der Bildersuche der Suchmaschine einverstanden“.

Still playing populist?

As the Euro starts tanking and investors sell bonds from Europe’s most indebted nations, looks like Germany might be willing to speed up  its efforts to help overcome the Greek fiscal crisis which now seems to include Spain’s downgrade by Standard & Poor’s. Yup, my prediction is that things will be sped up and settled in less than two weeks time, right after the regional elections in North Rhine-Westphalia on May 9.

“We’re right to tell the Greeks: you have to save money, you have to be candid and you have to work on your honesty, otherwise we can’t help you,” Merkel said.

Merkel simply reacted to anti-Greek prejudices apparently shared by great numbers in Germany these days, strongly supported by Germany’s biggest tabloid, Bild. “You Greeks are getting nothing from us,” headlines say. When young policymakers of Merkel’s Christian Democrat and Liberal coalition in a newspaper article asked Greece to sell a few of their islands to solve the problem, it was only the beginning of a series of rather unhelpful proposals.

Such reactions to the crisis are worrying. According to their rhetoric, German politicians don’t seem to realise what’s at stake. With Greece shattered and Portugal and Spain at risk, they still imply that, in order to tackle the crisis, the lazy Greeks simply had to bite the bullet.

This might help to win a regional election. It just might not be enough to prevent the break-up of the European currency.

Better save than sorry

“It’s not like we don’t trust you or anything, Greece,” Germany said. “It’s just that we don’t trust you.”

Profiting the most from the EU by being its biggest winner (exporter), when push comes to shove, Germany always has to shell out the most too.

That’s the part they don’t like, understandably – that amount up there (in billions)  is what Germany will be paying to bail out Greece. And they will help bail them out too, of course. But with another regional election rolling around in Germany again and all, Merkel and Co. are going to make the Greeks agree to save until it hurts first.

“If Greece is ready to accept tough measures, not just in one year but over several years, then we have a good chance to secure the stability of the euro for us all.”

Oh. My. Google.

They’re at it again. This time Google’s StreetView car (they actually have several) has come under fire in Germany again for, gulp, collecting data on private Wi-Fi networks.

That this has been done for years already by many location-based service companies like Skyhook say, and applications like Twitter and even “good” browsers like Firefox makes no difference at all here, folks. Aufregung muss her (you just have to get hot and bothered).

Do no evil? Google kann do no good.

Datenschützer kritisieren die angebliche Speicherung von privaten Daten über WLAN-Netze durch Google Street View. Andere Anbieter bleiben von der Kritik ausgenommen, dabei gehen sie genauso vor.

Schroeder sabotages ex-wife’s near second fifteen minutes of fame

Gerd “it wasn’t me” Schroeder is at it again.

As if driving around Hannover with the drunken church lady (and getting her fired) and planting 250 kilo bombs in Berlin wasn’t enough already, now he’s somehow managed to sabotage his ex-wife’s next shot at fame by getting her to slip on something and fall while she was doing her dance on what I assume must be the popular TV show “Let’s Dance.”

Anyways, she’s busted her knee and is out of the competition. And she coulda been a contender too. It just ain’t right. Damn. This Schroeder guy needs to get a job.

“Nur einmal durfte Hillu Schwetje, Ex-Gattin des Ex-Bundeskanzlers Gerhard Schröder in der RTL-Show “Let’s Dance” das Tanzbein schwingen.”

We surrender already!

Just stop holding hands and singing We Shall Overcome!

Not even those rugged German army types can take this kind of abuse forever. After years of moaning and sniveling and peaceniking about saving the heath and health of the so-called “Bombodrom” in Kyritz-Ruppiner Heide near Berlin, the Bundeswehr has finally rolled over and decided to close down its infamous military training area.

It had been a shocking Vorgang (course of events) or something. They actually practiced dropping bombs here once, I think. Maybe twice. Fake bombs of course, but still. Damn, where is the Bundeswehr going to drop their fake bombs now?

Bundesverteidigungsminister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg (CSU) erklärte in Berlin, die Bundeswehr löse diesen Standort mit seinen 80 Mitarbeitern vollständig auf.