“Arming the World for Peace”

Only German military industrial complex peaceniks can pull this kind of stuff off without laughing out loud. Not only do they sell their expensive weapons systems for gutes Geld (serious money), they arm the world for peace in the process.

Drawing lessons from Afghanistan and Libya, German Chancellor Merkel has been making quiet changes to Berlin’s arms exports policy. Instead of intervening in conflicts, she wants to help arm certain countries to provide stability in crisis regions.

“The idea of supporting partners in turbulent regions with weapons so that they can provide for stability is not implausible.” As long as Germans are doing it, I guess.


Ich Liebe Deutsche Land

How can the German population actually be growing despite decades of negative birth rates? That’s easy. Just do it without the Germans.

It’s the immigrants, stupid.

Es sind die Einwanderer, die uns vorm Aussterben bewahren.

It’s Better To Have Come In Ninth Than Never To Have Come In At All

The agony of defeat, or something (when people who are supposed to win lose – just ask Michael Phelps).

Wanting to keep a little reserve on the first day of Olympic competition, Germany’s swimmin’ women missed out on a spot in the women’s 4x100m freestyle final with the ninth fastest/slowest time.

Germans just aren’t good at being reserved, I guess.

“Es ist ja nicht so, dass wir mit solch einem Ergebnis gerechnet haben und machen jetzt alle einfach weiter.”

Biomass Movement Is Over (If You Want It)

Remember the days when crops were something people would eat?

Well the German National Academy of Sciences Leopoldina has just found out that that maybe wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The German mania for “bioenergy” seems to have already had its day in the solar-powered sun. The academy’s report “Bioenergy – Chances and Limits” concludes that bioenergy is just a lot of bio gas (or hot bio air, if you prefer).

It plays “a minor role in the transition to renewable, sustainable energy sources in Germany at the present time and probably in the future,” requiring more surface area, creating higher greenhouse gas emissions and being more harmful to the environment than other renewable sources.

So what are we going to do with all those imported soybeans now? Eat them? Hey, the plan looked good on green paper, though.

“Die Produktion von Biokraftstoffen stellte eine extrem ineffiziente Nutzung der verfügbaren landwirtschaftlichen Fläche dar.”

This Is A German Swearing

Boy, talk about the line being busy.

Two German entrepreneurs have devised a way for passive-aggressive citizens to blow off some steam – dial a telephone number and give the person on the other end a verbal lashing.

The swearing hotline, known as “Schimpf-los” (“swear away”) in German, has operators standing by seven days a week for frustrated individuals to jeer at and taunt using the most unsavory language they can muster.

“That’s the third time I’ve heard that today – is that all you’ve got?”

Germany Confused About Japan’s “Retreat” From A Nuclear-Free Future

And here we thought that Germans were good at math.

Until Fukushima, Japan satisfied about 30 percent of its electricity demands with nuclear power, while renewable energy made up about 10 percent of the power supply. If one leaves out hydroelectric power, renewables hardly make up more than 1 percent.

“Japan needs a vision.”

The Lesser Of Two Evils

“Finally, a rating agency showed a sense for good timing. The announcement could hardly have come at a better time: Moody’s casts doubts on Germany’s top rating. The rating agency provided its top grade “AAA” rating with a negative outlook. This is perfect timing for the debate which has taken place these past few days concerning additional help payments to Greece.”

“The agency gives two main arguments behind taking this step, and they should be clear to everyone.

First there is the danger that Greece would leave the euro: Then the danger of further contamination for other countries like Italy and Spain would be a threat.

But secondly there is another, far greater danger: If none of these countries leave the euro, then financially weak states would have to be supported indefinitely by the stronger ones.”

“Germany continues to find itself in a very solid economic and financial situation.”

The End With Horror

No horror here. Or terror, if you prefer. How does that German proverb go? Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende?

That is, better an end with horror than a horror without end. And that’s where we’re at with Greece now, finally.

German Vice Chancellor Philipp Roesler said he’s “very skeptical” that European leaders will be able to rescue Greece and the prospect of the country’s exit from the euro had “lost its terror.”

Get it over with already, people, and move on.