Huh? I’m confused (again). I thought Guantanamo was supposed to be closed because of its sensibility offending lack of niceness and goodness and that innocence until proven guilty thing we all cherish and all that. But now that these victimized, brutalized prisoner types will finally be released (free at last!), how come nobody’s standing in line to welcome them back home again? Or at least to welcome them back home to home away from home, I mean.

Germany sure isn’t welcoming any of them. Just ask their top politicians. Otherwise despised by a huge number of distrustful German souls (and needless to say there are a whole bunch of those) for being some new hybrid form of Big Brother Himself, German Interior Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble has gotten right to the heart of the matter and spoken from the collective heart of his German countrymen brothers (and sisters) by announcing that he sees no reason why Germany should provide sanctuary to people who are too dangerous for the United States.

Being the world famous humanitarians that they are, however, the Germans can’t just say no outright. That is why, as always, they will be seeking an “international solution” to this problem, or at least a European one, which sounds even more, well, European, albeit international. This inevitably means that somebody else other than Germany gets stuck with the problem, you see. But they can still claim to have participated in the solution, get it?

That’s why a spokesman for the government has announced that Germany has not “fully defined its position” yet.  But why should they even go to the trouble? It’s already very clear what their position is now.

“He did not see an imminent threat from the Guantanamo detainees.”