German Of The Day: Blamage

That means humiliation or disgrace. And we, as in me, can only hope that this is what the “leadership” of the SPD gets to experience up close and personal at their big grand-coalition-yes-or-no party conference today.

Links

Many of the SPD Genossen (comrades) are against forming a new grand coalition because the agreement Martin Schulz & Co. has worked out with Merkel’s CDU/CSU is, well, not “left” enough. Whatever that might mean these days.

I’m with them, of course, although not for the same reasons. This grand coaliton was voted out of office by the German electorate. What part of “no” don’t you understand? Merkel needs to spend a little time in minority government purgatory before calling for new elections again. This is the mess Germany is now in, folks. Every once in a while reality catches up with you. But as messy as it might be, the German voter does not deserve another GroKo. Please, SPD delegates, put an end to all this nonsense and have your party “reinvent” itself already, like it says there on that Spiegel cover.

600 Delegierte und 45 stimmberechtigte Mitglieder des Parteivorstands werden am Sonntag in Bonn entscheiden, wie es mit der SPD weitergeht. Aber nicht nur das: An ihrem Votum hängt auch die Zukunft von Parteichef Schulz.

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German Of The Day: Armutszeugnis

That means “certificate of poverty” but is more like “evidence of incapability” or even “pathetic display.”

SPD

And that’s precisely what the head of the SPD is displaying so pathetically right now, yet again. “German election would further harm SPD, Schulz warns.” Like duh. They’ve been sinking in the polls like rocks.

The leader of Germany’s Social Democrats on Friday urged members of his center-left party to endorse coalition talks with Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservatives or risk facing new elections that could further damage the party.

Amazing, really. The head of such a “principled” political party, grabbing for straws, tells his people to knuckle under at coalition talks knowing 1) this will upset the few people who still vote for the SPD but 2) if the coalition talks with Merkel’s CDU/CSU fail then the SPD will lose even bigger when new elections are called, which then must be the case (sure hope so). There’s your rock. There’s your hard place. I almost feel sorry for them this time. But only almost.

“If the parties do not succeed in forming a government with the majorities in the Bundestag, then voters will punish them.”

Too Lidl Too Late?

More like too Lidl too big and too early.

Lidl

The expansion of German discount chain Lidl into US-Amerika is turning out to be less successful than hoped, to put it mildly. Sales are disappointing and the two billion euros planned to cover investment and start-up losses will not be enough. Management apparently chose too many wrong locations and built stores that were much too big. Instead of the 100 stores planned for last year only 47 actually opened.

This puzzles me a bit. You can’t walk a quorter of a mile in Germany without running into one of these places. And when I read how Lidl prices in the US seem to be just as low or lower than they are here, how could they possibly fail? Well, if they do, there’s still Aldi, right?

Die extrem jungen Expansionsteams haben in Amerika oftmals falsche Standorte ausgewählt. Zudem wurden zu große und zu teure Märkte gebaut. Die Umsätze sind enttäuschend. Die ursprünglich kalkulierten zwei Milliarden Euro für Investitionen und Anlaufverluste werden nach Informationen vom manager magazin nicht ausreichen.

German Of The Day: Fremdschämen

That means “external shame.” Second-hand embarrassment, that is, or feeling embarrassment for somebody else – especially when that somebody else is clearly somebody else who knows no shame. Like Gazprom Gerd (SPD), for instance.

Fremdschämen

Now we can cringe at him being in love with what will most likely be his fifth wife and read all about it in the Bunte even though there is no force in the universe that can make me do that but still.

“Wo Schröder inzwischen privat Pipelines verlegt, wissen wir seit September… Der Altkanzler und seine koreanische Freundin Soyeon Kim zeigen uns ihr großes Glück und verraten, wie sie ihre Zukunft planen. Wird sie seine 5. Ehefrau?”

Hey, Your Bus Ticket Is Untied

And it smells funny, too. But that’s not all that out of the normal in Berlin, come to think of it.

Ticket

Adidas has some new sneakers that aren’t just made for walking—they’re for taking public transport, too. The German clothing giant has struck a deal with the Berlin transit authority, BVG, in which Adidas will sell 500 pairs of sneakers that have year-long 2018 tickets sewn into them. An annual BVG ticket for zones A and B, which cover everything within the capital’s borders, costs €761 ($930). The EQT Support 93/Berlin shoes, however, cost just €180.

The cool thing, I think: Now when the BVG bus is late (and it will continue to be late, don’t worry) you can run to work and most likely get there faster, too.

“Most buyers will put the sneakers in a showcase and not travel with them.”

More Censorship Fun

This time Germany’s way cool new censorship law (NetzDG or Netzwerkdurchsetzungsgesetz, if you prefer) has seen to it that a German artist’s works be effectively banned on Facebook and Instagram because, well, no one even bothered to explain why this time.

Barbara

That road sign up there is a form of hate speech, you see. If you look closely, I mean. It’s sexist, right? Or is it racist (the dark part)? I don’t know but something is definitely distrubing about it and I think that the nameless employee who pressed on the Censor Sensor Button or whatever it is they call it was right on the money. Better safe than sorry, I say. When it doubt, censor it out. It’s good to know Big Bruder is watching.

“Über das Löschen von Beiträgen entscheiden irgendwelche Angestellte von privaten Firmen im Auftrag von Facebook und Instagram, die im Schnellverfahren entscheiden und nicht einmal irgendwelche Gründe für das Löschen nennen. Ich sehe die Freiheit im Internet dadurch mehr als nur bedroht, sie wird aus meiner Sicht dadurch ruiniert.”

Heart-Warming German Children’s TV

Financed by the German Staatsfunk mafia, too.

Kika

It’s so cute or something. German children’s channel KiKa broadcast this touching love story between these two sixteen-year-old kids. One is a German, one is a Syrian refugee. Heart-warming, like I said. Especially once you realize that the Syrian is actually 20 (at least) and that he is also a big fan of German Salafist hatemonger preacher Pierre Vogel.

Young German girls are crazy about this kind of romantic stuff, I guess. And you got to give the people what they want, right? And they can’t be subjected to it early enough, I suppose. So it’s also heart-warming to know just where all those GEZ “contribution” euros go. Not that anybody can do anything about that or anything. Just saying.

Der syrische Flüchtling soll laut Angaben der Bild-Zeitung die offizielle Fan-Seite des deutschen Hasspredigers und Salafisten-Führers Pierre Vogel geliket haben. Vogel war Mitglied eines inzwischen aufgelösten salafistischen Vereins, der vom Verfassungsschutz beobachtet wurde. Er gilt als einer der einflussreichsten Prediger der deutschen Salafismusszene.

German Voters To Get What They Voted Out Of Office After All?

Oh boy. Everyone is so excited. I, for one, can hardly contain myself.

Back

Merkel is back (sure, she never left in the first place but still).

Schulz is back.

The GroKo is back.

Back to back.

Hey, once you go back you never go back.

Back to the future? Hardly.

What is it going to take to get them off my back?

German politicians have achieved a breakthrough in talks aimed at forming a new coalition government. A blueprint for formal negotiations was agreed between Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Christian Democrats (CDU) and their former coalition partners, the Social Democrats (SPD).