Australia

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Australia

Because somebody has to admire them.

Das Geschäft hat einen Wert von 4 Milliarden australischen Dollar (2,57 Mrd Euro).

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SPD Unsure About Which False Move To Make Next

As in being worst. False moves are the only kind of moves Germany’s SPD makes these days.

SPD

Now that the Jamaica negotiations went tango uniform….

Bloodied but proud and steeped in tradition and legacy, the SPD thought it had done the right thing after September’s devastating election result by announcing its desire to regroup as the main opposition party in the new German parliament…

But if the SPD sticks to its opposition role now, its detractors might accuse the party of leaving the country in the lurch and not doing its democratic duty to help ensure a working and stable government…

On the other hand, if the SPD comes out of its opposition shell and agrees to revisit a grand coalition with Angela Merkel’s Christian Democrats, it may well be accused of opportunism and lacking backbone.

The SPD doesn’t have any backbone, you see (that’s the FDP‘s job). So being accused of not having one is clearly out of the question. And if comes to new elections then? They get slammed even harder. Same personnel, same platform. Brilliant leadership there, Martin Schulz. I think we’ve got our German word for the day here and it doesn’t even need a translation: Kindergarten.

Fly The Friendly Skies

But not with Jew. I mean, you.

Kuwait

A court in the German city of Frankfurt ruled on Thursday that Kuwait Airways was within its rights to refuse to transport an Israeli because of their citizenship.

In its judgement, the court said it was “not reasonable” for the airline to transport a person if doing so risked severe legal consequences for its employees in Kuwait.

Kuwaiti law prohibits companies from doing business with Israelis.

Damn. Here come da judge. Just a little clarification here: This was a court in Germany today, in the year 2017. Not that you’re thinking it was one of those other kind of German courts from back in the day.

Die Airline darf israelischen Staatsbürgern die Beförderung verweigern. Das hat das Landgericht Frankfurt entschieden.

German Of The Day: Unfassbar

That means unfathomable or mind-boggling. And, well, actually, it isn’t.

Unfathomable

Not at all. It is in fact not in the least unfathomable that of the 244 Leopard II tanks the Bundeswehr has at its disposal (244 tanks for an entire army?) only 95 of them are acutally, well, disposable. That’s, uh – let me do the math here – less than half.

What was I saying the other day about Germany living in a parallel universe (comments)? Do you believe me now?

Please note: These are also the same tanks that are Exportschlager. Another German word. This one meaning export hits. See how it all fits together (not)?

“Das ist unfassbar.”

 

Now That’s Putting It A Little Drastic

But wenn man recht hat, hat man recht. But when you’re right, you’re right.

Hog

Germany Is a Coal-Burning, Gas-Guzzling Climate Change Hypocrite.

Just this summer, German Chancellor Angela Merkel read U.S. President Donald Trump the riot act for pulling out of the Paris climate accord, chiding the United States for ignoring and perpetuating climate change…

Yet Germany’s image as selfless defender of the climate, which was once largely deserved, is now a transparent fiction. Germany has fallen badly behind on its pledges to sink its own greenhouse gas pollutants. In fact, Germany’s carbon emissions haven’t declined for nearly a decade and the German Environment Agency calculated that Germany emitted 906 million tons of CO2 in 2016 — the highest in Europe — compared to 902 million in 2015. And 2017’s interim numbers suggest emissions are going to tick up again this year.

Saudi Arabia AND Egypt

Beautiful German weapon sales of the week.

Egypt

Because somebody has to admire them.

The German government approved nearly €450 million ($526 million) worth of weapons exports to Saudi Arabia and Egypt in the third quarter of 2017, more than five times the €86 million it sold in the same quarter of last year.

German Of The Day: PESCO

That’s actually English and stands for Permanently Stalled Cooperation, I think. It is the EU’s attempt to move closer to having permanent joint European armed forces.

PESCO

But they’ll never manage this, of course. Most European nations don’t even live up to their NATO obligations right now.

Seit vielen Jahren ringen die Europäer um eine gemeinsame Verteidigungspolitik, der Erfolg war bisher äußerst überschaubar. Das aber könnte sich nun ändern: Am Montag haben die Außen- und Verteidigungsminister von 23 der 28 EU-Staaten dem Europäischen Rat mitgeteilt, in der Verteidigung künftig gemeinsame Wege zu gehen. Zumindest vorerst nicht dabei: Dänemark, Irland, Portugal, Malta – und natürlich Großbritannien, das ohnehin die EU verlassen will.

PS: Is she sexually harassing those guys up there?

Let’s Do The Math

Yeah, that makes sense. When Britain does it’s Brexit thing and leaves the EU the money they’ve been pumping into it all these years will stop coming in.

Brexit

That means the remaining countries – like Germany – will have to make up for this. OK. Are you still with me here? Good. Now can you tell me why this is supposed to be a news item? You should have worried about this before you failed to compromise with them and let them get away in the first place.

Of the expected 10.2 billion euros that will be permanently missing in the EU budget after the Brexit, Germany will most likely have to come up with an additional 3.8 billion annually if the general conditions remain the same.

Von den voraussichtlich netto 10,2 Milliarden Euro, die im EU-Haushalt nach dem Brexit dauerhaft fehlen würden, müsste Deutschland bei unveränderten Rahmenbedingungen rund 3,8 Milliarden Euro übernehmen.

OMG We’re All Gonna Die

Again. And again and again and again already. This must be the one year anniversary special or something.

Trump

Here’s some more of that high-class and balanced Spiegel journalism we have all grown so accustomed to. Jeepers. How can anybody hyperventilate this long? Just a few key terms here will tell you all you need to know about this article (and you thought some folks got carried away with their tweets):

“moral emptiness”
“the erosion of American greatness”
“existential threat to the American Republic”
“nuclear brinkmanship with North Korea”
“erratic belligerence”
“frayed to the breaking point”
“like Britain’s perverse flight from the European Union”
“a blow-up-the-system mood”
“the ultimate provocateur”
“Trump’s ‘America First’ is a slogan of impeccable fascist pedigree”

“After a year of MAGA, it has become clear that a disaster is unfolding whose consequences for humanity and decency will be substantial.”

US-Amerika To Penetrate Germany Again Tonight

“They see it as just one more example of American commercial penetration*.”

Halloween

Popular as it is, many people are vehemently against Halloween in their countries, whether it be religious objections or fears of cultural imperialism.

It may be a bit of both in Germany, where 48 percent of respondents in the 2017 YouGov survey said the spooky holiday is a U.S. import that displaces German culture. October 31 is Reformation Day in Germany, and commemorates the day when Martin Luther launched Europe’s Protestant Reformation.

So on that happy note, Happy Halloween everyone! Whatever holiday you might be celebrating tonight.

Fast 50 Prozent der Deutschen glauben, Halloween sei ein US-Import, der die deutsche Kultur gefährde. Fakt ist, dass der Brauch ursprünglich aus Irland stammt.

*Psst. Don’t spoil everybody’s fun by explaining that Halloween originated in Ireland.