“Germany’s Smart, Simple Formula for Fighting Its Coronavirus Spike”

Isn’t working. And won’t work (in the mid- to long term). Their smart, simple formula last March (the big lockdown) didn’t work either.

Covid

But none of your readers are interested in that. You’ve trained them well.

When it’s come to fighting the coronavirus crisis, Germany has been a model among Western nations. Under Chancellor Angela Merkel’s leadership, the country’s swift and organized initial response to the pandemic kept deaths low and quickly pushed case rates down to a controllable level. Its successes have in many ways stood as the starkest contrast to America’s scattered, disastrous response—proof that a large democracy with a federal form of government could, in fact, get a handle on the disease.

But…

PS: Always remember that everything before “but” was a lie.

If Only The United States Could Do Everything Right Too

Remember: Corona only spikes in the United States because, well, we do everything wrong.

Light

Not so in ze Europe. Take Germany, for example. They’ve done everything right so far (face masks, social distancing, strict restrictions, etc). The Germans even did a big lockdown already, just a few months back. And now, because the first lockdown worked so well and was so much fun, I guess, Germany is going to lockdown again. Only this time they refer to it as a “lockdown light.” Light as in restaurants, bars, hotels, gyms etc. will no longer have any guests and professional sports events will be held without spectators. And everybody stays home, of course. Sound vaguely familiar? It should. It is. But maybe this light lockdown will be more effective than that heavy one they did first. It’s all a question of having a positive attitude. Something Germans are world famous for.

Germany to go into circuit-break lockdown as coronavirus surges – Germany will impose an emergency month-long lockdown that includes the closure of restaurants, gyms and theatres to reverse a spike in coronavirus cases that risks overwhelming hospitals, Chancellor Angela Merkel said on Wednesday.

 

German Of The Day: Gastro-Lockdown

That means gastro lockdown. You know, as in gastronomy lockdown?

Gastro

It’s coming to Germany. Wow, and this in a country that has Corona under control (if you watch American mainstream media news). Angela “we can do it” Merkel will be announcing today and making sure that – take a deep breath now – restaurants, bars, clubs discotheques, pubs, as well as theaters, opera houses, concert houses, whore houses, casinos, amusement parks, film theaters, sport clubs, betting shops, swimming pools and gyms will be closed down for a bit. For our own protection. Not necessarily for the people who work there or own them, of course, but still. It’s a start. And what a whore house and some of the others there have to do with gastronomy I’ll leave up to you.

Otherwise though, everything else can remain open. For now.

Unter anderem sollen Gastronomiebetriebe sowie Bars, Clubs, Diskotheken, Kneipen und ähnliche Einrichtungen geschlossen bleiben. Gleiches soll für Theater, Opern, Konzerthäuser, Messen, Kinos, Freizeitparks, Spielhallen, Spielbanken, Wettannahmestellen, Bordelle, Freizeit- und Amateursportbetrieb, Schwimm- und Spaßbäder und Fitnessstudios gelten.

Here’s What Happens When You Do Everything Right

Corona-wise, I mean (around 12,000 new infections a day now in Germany these days – highest rate here yet). You know, face masks, social distancing and all that?

Toilet Paper

Germans Are Panic Buying Toilet Paper And Disinfectants As Covid-19 Surges Again – Unlike the April lockdown, where massive hoarding led to empty store shelves, German retailers claim that they are better prepared this time.

“After the events we saw earlier this year, we are monitoring changes in demand more closely than ever to ensure that nothing is in short supply.”

“Motivated By Islamic Extremism?”

“Most likely.” It’s not like Islamic extremism is actually responsible itself.

Dresden

Germany: Dresden knife attack likely motivated by Islamic extremism – German police say they have arrested an asylum seeker suspected of killing one person and wounding another in Dresden two weeks ago. Prosecutors are now treating the deadly stabbing as a possible terrorist attack.

German of the day: Herumeiern. To “egg around,” as to walk on eggshells. That is, to pussy-foot (with an emphasis on pussy): To act in a cautious or non-committal way.

No Russian Collusion Here

Because it’s German collusion instead.

Justice

German businessman charged over exports to Russian military – Prosecutors say a German businessman and an alleged accomplice have been charged over the delivery of machinery to a company linked to the Russian military in violation of European Union sanctions

Ihm wird vorgeworfen, zwischen 2016 und 2018 Werkzeugmaschinen im Wert von acht Millionen Euro an einen staatlichen Rüstungskonzern geliefert zu haben, der Raketensysteme für die russische Armee herstellt.

 

“Work Again?”

Is this German humor? In a British tabloid?

Germany

“Will Germany’s effective Covid strategy work again as it enters a second wave?” It didn’t work the first time, folks (they’re up to 7,000+ new infections a day now, and climbing). Even though the Germans, as Klassenbeste (best in class), did everything right. Right? Face masks, social distancing, etc.

It could almost make one think that these face masks don’t help.

“The first wave taught us that if politicians and scientists work together, they have more chance of beating this virus.”

Germany Tough Now On China?

Sure they are. And I’ve got some swamp land in Florida I can offer you for next to nothing.

China

The Germans are bought and they know it.

Merkel’s China Reset Is Mostly Hollow – As the engine of German export growth, the destination of $100 billion worth of German goods last year, and Germany’s biggest overall trading partner, China is not just a large and profitable market. Germans see China as the mechanism for sustaining the only prolonged era of domestic harmony their country has ever known.

German Of The Day: Weiblich

That means feminine. You know, like the German language?

Weiblich

Well, not quite yet.

Germany’s Interior Ministry has objected to draft legislation drawn up by the Justice Ministry that uses the feminine form for every reference to people. It argued on Monday that the result likely would be unconstitutional. In German, linguistic convention has long called for the masculine form of a word to be used as the default when referring to people of either sex, such as in legislation.

In der Bundespressekonferenz ergänzte ein Sprecher des Innenministeriums, die Formulierungen des Gesetzentwurfs hätten “bei formaler Betrachtung zur Folge, dass das Gesetz gegebenenfalls nur für Frauen oder Menschen weiblichen Geschlechts gilt und damit höchstwahrscheinlich verfassungswidrig wäre.”

It’s Reassuring To Know That The Germans Always Have Everything Under Control

Especially when you live in Germany. Take the “coronavirus risk threshold,” for instance. Please.

Corona

Hmmm. No longer head of the mask class, Germany? 4,500 new infections yesterday, and rising. Do you have this under control? Does anyone?

Berlin and Frankfurt both hit German coronavirus risk threshold – Germany’s capital and financial capital have both hit the level defined by the government as risky — 50 new cases per 100,000 residents over a seven-day period. It could lead to travel restrictions at home and abroad.

“We must avoid reaching the point where we lose control.”