And What About The Illegal Aliens From Outer Space?

World famous for opening their borders to illegal aliens from anywhere and everywhere else in this world, German Green politicians were recently stunned to discover that their government has failed to adequately prepare for the possible arrival of illegal aliens from other worlds.

Aliens

“So how do you organize a welcome party for an alien race?” asked a flustered CDU politician during intense questioning. “You planet!” the Greens shouted back.

The German government says it has made no preparations for the possibility that aliens might land in the European country.

In a response to questions from opposition Green Party lawmaker Dieter Janecek, the government said “there are no protocols or plans for a possible first contact with alien life.”

“A first contact on German territory is extremely unlikely, based on today’s scientific knowledge.”

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The Next Level Of Degradation Has Been Reached

Starting next year, Miss Germany contestents will no longer be allowed to wear bikinis. They’re going to march them out there completely naked, I guess.

Bikini

No, wait. It’s even worse than I thought! Instead of bikinis they’re only going to let them wear something called “Sommer-Outfits.” How awful. Awful sounding, I mean. I don’t know what a summer outfit is but I doubt if it tops a bikini.

When is this madness ever going to end? Just because the Miss Germany political correctors suddenly “want to emphasize the personality of Miss Germany” (and blindly follow whatever American political correctors do) doesn’t mean they have the right to spoil the fun for all the young women taking part. And who says their personalities are anybody else’s business anyway? Ever hear of data security? I’m going to “set a signal” and boycott this year’s show.

Auch die “Miss America” in den USA wird inzwischen ohne eine solche Runde gewählt. Das habe mit der Entscheidung des deutschen Pendants jedoch “absolut gar nichts” zu tun.

German Of The Day: Ordnung Muss Sein

That means order must prevail. And prevail it does in Germany, sort of.

Ordnung

This stuff just keeps getting weirder. The recent deportation of Osama bin Laden’s bodyguard and suspected jihadist Sami A. to Tunesia has now been ruled illegal because a last minute fax blocking the decision to deport him was received only after the plane carrying him off to Tunesia had already taken off and this led a higher German court to now order him to be brought back to Germany where he will eventually be deported back to Tunesia again but only after this orderly German deportation process has been carried out in a thoroughly orderly German fashion. I feel like I’m in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest here sometimes, people.

A higher court in the western German state of North Rhine-Westphalia has ordered the city of Bochum to bring back Sami A., a suspected former bodyguard for Osama bin Laden, who was deported to his native Tunisia last month.

Bochum can appeal the decision in Germany’s top constitutional court in Karlsruhe. But an appeal is not likely to delay the return of the suspect.

Maybe the Tunisians might come through here, though. They are bound to be a little more advanced in matters of jurisprudence.

“The process here in Tunisia is still ongoing, so he has no ID to travel with.”

Just Like That Japanese Reactor

Not quite as dramatic, granted, but just like how Fukushima took down the nuclear power industry in Germany, all it takes is a collapsed highway bridge in Italy to suddenly put Germany’s bridge infrastructure in full tilt crisis mode. You gotta worry about something, after all.

Bridges

The latest reminder of the risks of aging infrastructure came Tuesday, when a highway bridge in Italy collapsed, killing at least 35 people. Germany is also exposed. Its once-envied network of roads, bridges and railways are decaying due to decades of underspending. The country has fallen to 15th in road quality behind Oman and Portugal, according to the World Economic Forum’s competitiveness rankings.

Autobahnbrücken in Deutschland – Jede achte Brücke in schlechtem Zustand.

German Of The Day: Vergewaltigung

That means rape. And three in a row popped up in the news today

Rape

Strange, they never used to be in the news this much. Now hardly a day goes by without a report or two. It’s been, I dunno, two or three years now. Times seem to have gotten a little rougher here in Germany – and elsewhere in Europe – for some reason.

Nach Vergewaltigung in Hamburg Politiker fordern Aufklärung – und Härte… Der Verdächtige ist vorbestraft und sein Asylantrag abgelehnt.

Agreement Kind Of Reached About Actually Sort Of Enforcing A Law That Has Already Been In Effect For Years

Remember when laws used to have to be followed? Me, neither.

Spain

Berlin and Madrid are demonstrating unity with a joint agreement on returning migrants from Germany to Spain. Now Germany wants to seal similar deals with other countries…

Isn’t this already determined by the Dublin Regulation?

Yes, in principle it is. According to the Dublin Regulation, a migrant is supposed to become the responsibility of the country where he or she is first registered. As a rule, it should be the country where they first set foot on European soil. If a refugee comes to Germany and it turns out that he’s already registered in Italy, the German government could send him back there. However, European law also requires it to consider whether it makes more sense for a refugee to stay in Germany — if, for example, they have relatives living here…

Many EU countries consider the Dublin Regulation impracticable. The transfer of migrants from one country to another is extremely time-consuming. Furthermore, many migrants are not even registered at the point when they first set foot on European soil. During her visit to Spain, Merkel too described the Dublin Regulation as “unworkable.”

German Of The Day: Unfassbar

That means unfathomable. As in it being unfathomable” to set free someone who helped the hijackers who seized Flight 11 and Flight 175 out of Boston, launching the War on Terror.

Terror

Mounir el-Motassadeq — who paid tuition and rent for the al-Qaeda killers while they plotted in Hamburg — is being deported back to his native Morocco early. He was sentenced in 2006 to 15 years, but is being given credit for time served, German’s Bild newspaper reported Thursday. He was jailed in November 2001.

“He was found guilty of 246 counts of accessory to murder — one for each of the passengers who died on all the four hijacked flights that day. It’s shocking he only got 15 years and this sends the message the cost of human life is cheap in Germany.”

Das Hanseatische Oberlandesgericht (OLG) hatte Motassadeq wegen Beihilfe zum Mord in 246 Fällen und Mitgliedschaft in einer terroristischen Vereinigung verurteilt.

Why Germany’s Army Is In A Bad State?

Duh. Because that’s the way Germany wants it. This isn’t rocket science, folks.

Army

DONALD TRUMP says it is “not fair” for Europe’s largest economy to spend proportionally so much less on defence than America does. Germany spends just 1.2% of its GDP on defence, and it shows. A report released in February showed that less than half the country’s Leopard tanks, 12 out of 50 Tiger helicopters and only 39 of its 128 Typhoon fighter aircraft were fit for action. At the end of last year, none of the country’s six submarines was at sea. In short: Germany’s armed forces are barely fit for purpose. Why?

Just 15 per cent of all Germans agree with Angela Merkel that the country should increase its military spending to 2 per cent of GDP by 2024, with 36 per cent saying the country’s already spends too much on its military.