Germans Now Open To Border Wall With Mexico

Mexico

“We will draw out lessons from this defeat and will do it better next time,” the German manager said following the defeat. “We will certainly not throw our plans overboard. It is an unusual situation for us but one we must accept.”

Advertisements

“Spying Among Friends Is Never Acceptable”

Go ask Angela Merkel, she’ll tell you.

Austria

Certain countries are above all that. Being located on the moral high ground like they are, you know.

Vienna has demanded an explanation from Berlin over reports that Germany’s BND agency spied on nearly 2,000 targets in Austria between 1999 and 2006. Austrian media said embassies were among the targets.

Top Austrian officials have called on Germany to clarify reports that its BND spy agency snooped on high-profile targets including embassies, international organizations, Austrian ministers and banks based in the Austrian capital…

Following revelations by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden in 2013, German Chancellor Angela Merkel slammed the US for its extensive spying on targets in Germany. “Spying among friends is not at all acceptable,” she famously said in the wake of the scandal.

Crisis? What Crisis?

It’s not like the migrant crisis I singlehandedly caused is a crisis or anything. They just call it that.

Ricin

Or that this so-called migrant crisis I unleashed also caused the surge in populism that is currently surging in Germany. Or that any of these so-called migrants are endangering the German public. They’re not. It’s those yuicky terrorists that came into the country illegally with them. When they came into the country illegally, I mean. What, me worry?

Not Angela Merkel. She’s the Blob. Changes form at will. And nobody can lift her up out of that chair. Right?

Not even 100 days after she negotiated her way to a fourth term as German leader, Angela Merkel is mired in a political crisis that underscores Europe’s divisions over immigration amid a surge in populism.

Das in Köln sichergestellte Rizin hätte für Hunderte toxische Dosen gereicht. Verfassungsschutzpräsident Maaßen nimmt an, dass mit dem Gift ein Anschlag geplant war.

That’s Not Fair

Why couldn’t German tanks take part in the competition?

Oh, I forgot. They’re all broken.

The idea of green U.S. Army M1 Abrams tanks with big white stars on their sides, huge American flags flying on top, and art on the hull depicting a turtle wearing a World War II-era tanker uniform, running over a pile of cars sounds like something straight out of a 1980s arcade game. But its actually a real scene from the annual Strong Europe Tank Challenge at the service’s 7th Army Training Command’s Grafenwoehr Training Area in Germany.

A Little Bit Of Ricin Isn’t Going To Hurt Anybody

Not after an even smaller bit of ricin already killed everybody off first.

Ricin

The next Syrian refugee (this time a Tunisian Syrian refugee from Tunisia) has been caught misbehaving again. German police are questioning the 29-year-old after having stormed his apartment in Cologne and finding this interesting substance, should these reports be of substance.

Daily newspaper Express and local daily Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger reported that police had found ricin, a substance that can be highly toxic in small amounts. Authorities have not confirmed the reports…

Elite SEK police commandos and specialized chemical units from the police and fire departments were at the scene of the 18-story apartment block in Cologne’s northern Chorweiler district late on Tuesday. A mobile laboratory was set up in the entrance area of the apartment to analyze any dangerous substance.

German public broadcaster, WDR, quoted the attorney general as saying that there were indications that the person arrested may have planned an attack with the substances.

EXPRESS und „Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger“ erfuhren aus Ermittlerkreisen, um was für eine Substanz es sich handeln soll, die bei dem SEK-Großeinsatz am Dienstagabend in der Wohnung des Tatverdächtigen aufgefunden wurde: Rizin ist der drittgiftigste Stoff der Welt – 25.000-mal tödlicher als Strychnin.

PS: Just in case you were wondering (see yesterday’s post), North Korea won!

German State TV Has Questions

When it comes to today’s Trump-Kim event. And the answers are already written between the lines – by the fact that these particular questions were even asked in the first place.

Trump

Was the Trump-Kim meeting successful?

Is the closing statement really such a breakthrough?

Who benefits from the agreement?

Why wasn’t denuclearization made contractual?

Are there also losers?

Damn right there are losers. Anybody who voluntarily watches German state TV, for instance.

“Großartig“ und “historisch”. Doch die kamen vor allem vom US-Präsidenten selbst. Ein wichtiges Ziel des Gipfels wurde nicht konkret vereinbart.

German Of The Day: Geschröpft

That means fleeced. Or clobbered, if you prefer.

Trump

As in… We protect Europe (which is good) at great financial loss, and then get unfairly clobbered on trade.

„Deutschland zahlt ein Prozent des Bruttoinlandsproduktes (langsam) in Richtung Nato, während wir vier Prozent von einer weit größeren Bruttoinlandsprodukt zahlen. Glaubt irgendjemand, dass das Sinn macht?“

I Don’t Speak Your Body Language

Or, better yet, German of the day: Über den Tisch ziehen.

G7

That means “pull over the table,” as in to get pulled over the barrel or bamboozled.

Body Language 2

Recall back in 2015, almost three years ago to the day, when Merkel, with outstretched arms, stood before President Obama, seated on a bench at that year’s Group of 7 summit.

Sein Verhältnis zur deutschen Bundeskanzlerin beschrieb Donald Trump mit dem Vokabular des Preisrichters bei einem Schönheitswettbewerb: Auf einer Punkteskala von 1 bis 10 gebe er der Beziehung zu “Angela und Emmanuel und Justin” die Bestnote, sagte der US-Präsident am Samstag vor seiner Abreise vom G7-Gipfel in La Malbaie mit Blick auf Merkel und ihre französischen und kanadischen Amtskollegen Macron und Trudeau.