Nope, they can’t. But they can punish you for something that is wrong. I think we’re on the same sheet of music here, Specialist Schepherd.

When you went AWOL here in Germany in April 2007 to avoid “an illigal conflict” in Iraq you walked smack dab into the middle of an illegal conflict of your own. And now Germany, despite all the peacenik rhetoric and national obsession with war legality (but only when it comes to wars they have no intention of taking part in = Afghanistan is legal, just barely), will have to go through the long and drawn out motions of pretending they might grant you, a United States citizen, political asylum. You know, like they used to do in the good old days over there on the wild side, in the GDR?

Hate to tell you, but the Germans won’t be able to help you. They’re going to let you down on this one. Germans are prepared to moan and groan along with you all you want, but when it comes to doing something like setting an extreme precedent and getting all tangled up in sticky legal and political implications by granting such an absurd request, it just ain’t gonna happen. The time’s just not right, you see (Bush bad, Obama good = no make problems just right yet).

So enjoy your stay in jolly old Germany as long as you can. I’d say you’ve got a good six months, at least.

He said he didn’t want to return to an illegal conflict.