Old technophobic Germans, and heavens knows there certainly are a lot of those, just aren’t as feisty as they used to be.

Forced at gunpoint by a younger generation that’s mad as hell and isn’t going to take all the nagging while they’re online anymore, practically a third of all Germans between the ages of 65 and 74 have now succumbed to the terror and are using the malevolent ‘merican medium as best as they possibly can, which isn’t very good, but still. A full 60 percent of the  jittery old codgers between the ages of 55 and 64 have been pressured into going online now too. The old wimps.

“Viele Senioren gingen nach kurzer Lernphase souverän mit dem Internet um.”