800 Cruise Ship Passengers To Be Flown To Germany

From Australia. But it won’t be on Merkel One.

Germany will soon receive its first aircraft to ferry around the German head of state and other high-level officials, reports Live and Let’s Fly. The aircraft, an Airbus A350-900, has just completed its fourth test flight out of Airbus facilities in Toulouse, France.

Welcome To Corona Queen!

Would you like Jumbo Flu Fries with your Outbreak Burger?

Corona

German hospital launches drive-thru coronavirus testing – Doctors at the local hospital in the small German town of Gross-Gerau launched the drive-thru last week as a quick, creative way to screen people for the deadly bug and minimize exposure for medical staff and patients.

“Extraordinary times call for extraordinary solutions.”

Germany Finally Has A Defender Again

If only temporary.

Defender

US troops arrive in Germany for ‘Defender Europe 20‘ military maneuvers – A massive trans-Atlantic military exercise has gotten underway with over 40,000 US troops and military vehicles expected to arrive in Europe. It is the largest US troop movement across the Atlantic in 25 years.

“If everything goes well, nobody will notice anything.”

The Spy Who Left Me

Buried in the woods somewhere in West Germany thirty years ago.

Spy

Sophisticated Soviet spy radio discovered buried in former forest in Germany – Archaeologists digging for the remains of a Roman villa near the German city of Cologne have found a sophisticated Soviet spy radio that was buried there shortly before the fall of the Iron Curtain.

The spy radio was buried inside a large metal box that was hermetically sealed with a rubber ring and metal screws. Although the radio’s batteries had run down after almost 30 years in the ground, the box hissed with inrushing air when it was opened…

The scientists suspect agents would have used the spy radio to send secret reports back to the Soviet Union about observation of the Jülich Nuclear Research Centre, about 6 miles (10 km) west of where it was found; or of the military air base at Nörvenich, about the same distance to the southeast, where U.S. Pershing nuclear missiles were based until 1995.

More Friends Don’t Spy On Friends Stuff

Damn. Somebody needs to inform Angela Merkel immediately.

Friends

Germany doesn’t have many friends at all, I guess, because they’ve spied on just about everybody out there.

Report: US, Germany spied on countries for decades via Swiss encryption firm – Western intelligence acquired top secret information on global governments through their hidden control of an encryption firm, Crypto AG, according to media reports. Swiss authorities are investigating the allegations.

“The events under discussion started around 1945, and it is difficult to reconstruct them.”

German Of The Day: Bitch

That means bitch.

Buzz

Remember: Germany is the land of Goethe and Schiller. These two guys are Goethe und Schiller 2.0.

How many ex-boyfriends have you already had, bitch?
Look at me, bitch. Look at what a beauty I am. Ten.
Oh my God!

Honey, how many ex-boyfriends do you have, bitch?
I’m much too young. I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend.
Oh my God!
Ra-ta-ta-ta!

Bitch, how many ex-boyfriends do you have?
I don’t have an ex-boyfriend yet, bitch.
Oh my God!

“Your Visa Got Approved”

That’s about as seductive as it’s going to get.

Seductive

At the German foreign office.

German foreign office sorry for #SeduceSomeoneInFourWords tweet – Germany’s foreign office has apologised for tweeting a joke about its visa application process being seductive.

The joke was based on the trending hashtag #SeduceSomeoneInFourWords, where Twitter users come up with four words that could spark romance.

The @GermanyDiplo Twitter account tacked on the hashtag to its tweet: “Your visa got approved.”

The joke was deleted hours later and a second tweet admitted that humour was “not always our strong suit.”

German Of The Day: Rekordhöhe

That means record level. As in record level of German weapons sales.

Record

The federal government has authorized a record level of weapons exports. The number of export permits for armaments reached a new record high. Compared to the previous year, there was an increase of at least 65 percent for 2019.

Bundesregierung genehmigt Rüstungsexporte in Rekordhöhe – Die Zahl der Exportgenehmigungen für Rüstungsgüter hat einen neuen Höchststand erreicht. Im Vergleich zum Vorjahr gab es 2019 eine Steigerung von mindestens 65 Prozent.

Less Choice Is Always Germany’s First Choice

You can’t just go giving people the freedom to choose. Look at this Brexit mess, for example.

Uber

And this applies all the more when it comes to new business models in Germany. Especially if they come from US-Amerika. Then you would have Amerikanische Verhältnisse here in no time. And we certainly don’t want that. Once you start allowing customers to decide for themselves what services they prefer to use it’ll be Brexit all over again. Business Brexit. At least for the old overpriced, highly protected and monopolized business models so popular here in Germany, I mean.

Uber Hit With Fresh German Ban – After its core service was banned in 2015, Uber had begun offering rides through car-for-hire services

A regional court in Germany frustrated Uber Technologies Inc. UBER’s efforts to mount a comeback in the country, adding to regulatory pressure on the ride-hailing company, particularly in Europe.

Thursday’s ruling by a regional court in Frankfurt marks a fresh setback for the San Francisco-based transportation company, which is trying to repair its reputation among regulators after expanding rapidly and challenging local transport laws where it operated.

Among the countries that have been the most resistant to Uber is Germany, where the company had been experimenting with ways to overcome a nationwide ban imposed in 2015.