In a feeble attempt to copy then not-quite-yet-President Obama’s speech at Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate, Germany’s Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier, currently campaigning in the US to become the next Chancellor of Germany, will not be allowed to hold an election rally at the Washington Monument.

Of all people, his colleague US Secretary (she hates that word) of State Hillary Clinton had to break it to Steinmeier that his idea was like totally peinlich (embarassing) and completely brain-dead already.

Not only would such an election rally be highly inappropriate in a foreign country if it isn’t Obama speaking in Germany, the secretary said, but not a soul would give a damn or bother to show up, either. “I mean, it’s not like anybody over here even knows who or what the hell you are or anything, Frank,” Hillary added. “Nothing personal.”

His English not being the best, Steinmeier took this to mean yes and said, beaming “I am pleased that Germany is now one of Washington‘s preferred partners again.”

„Der Besuch des Bundesaußenministers habe einen Neuanfang der deutsch-amerikanischen Beziehungen markiert.“