“Germany’s Smart, Simple Formula for Fighting Its Coronavirus Spike”

Isn’t working. And won’t work (in the mid- to long term). Their smart, simple formula last March (the big lockdown) didn’t work either.

Covid

But none of your readers are interested in that. You’ve trained them well.

When it’s come to fighting the coronavirus crisis, Germany has been a model among Western nations. Under Chancellor Angela Merkel’s leadership, the country’s swift and organized initial response to the pandemic kept deaths low and quickly pushed case rates down to a controllable level. Its successes have in many ways stood as the starkest contrast to America’s scattered, disastrous response—proof that a large democracy with a federal form of government could, in fact, get a handle on the disease.

But…

PS: Always remember that everything before “but” was a lie.

If Only The United States Could Do Everything Right Too

Remember: Corona only spikes in the United States because, well, we do everything wrong.

Light

Not so in ze Europe. Take Germany, for example. They’ve done everything right so far (face masks, social distancing, strict restrictions, etc). The Germans even did a big lockdown already, just a few months back. And now, because the first lockdown worked so well and was so much fun, I guess, Germany is going to lockdown again. Only this time they refer to it as a “lockdown light.” Light as in restaurants, bars, hotels, gyms etc. will no longer have any guests and professional sports events will be held without spectators. And everybody stays home, of course. Sound vaguely familiar? It should. It is. But maybe this light lockdown will be more effective than that heavy one they did first. It’s all a question of having a positive attitude. Something Germans are world famous for.

Germany to go into circuit-break lockdown as coronavirus surges – Germany will impose an emergency month-long lockdown that includes the closure of restaurants, gyms and theatres to reverse a spike in coronavirus cases that risks overwhelming hospitals, Chancellor Angela Merkel said on Wednesday.

 

German Of The Day: Gastro-Lockdown

That means gastro lockdown. You know, as in gastronomy lockdown?

Gastro

It’s coming to Germany. Wow, and this in a country that has Corona under control (if you watch American mainstream media news). Angela “we can do it” Merkel will be announcing today and making sure that – take a deep breath now – restaurants, bars, clubs discotheques, pubs, as well as theaters, opera houses, concert houses, whore houses, casinos, amusement parks, film theaters, sport clubs, betting shops, swimming pools and gyms will be closed down for a bit. For our own protection. Not necessarily for the people who work there or own them, of course, but still. It’s a start. And what a whore house and some of the others there have to do with gastronomy I’ll leave up to you.

Otherwise though, everything else can remain open. For now.

Unter anderem sollen Gastronomiebetriebe sowie Bars, Clubs, Diskotheken, Kneipen und ähnliche Einrichtungen geschlossen bleiben. Gleiches soll für Theater, Opern, Konzerthäuser, Messen, Kinos, Freizeitparks, Spielhallen, Spielbanken, Wettannahmestellen, Bordelle, Freizeit- und Amateursportbetrieb, Schwimm- und Spaßbäder und Fitnessstudios gelten.

If Only The United States Could Get Covid Under Control Like The Europeans Have

Not, I mean. Take Germany, for example. Please.

Covid

Despite doing everything right (just ask the government, they’ll tell you they have) Angela Merkel is now considering a “lockdown light.”

Global report: Merkel says Germany faces ‘difficult months ahead’ in Covid fight – Chancellor says country is on verge of losing control as Europe death toll passes 250k.

“We are seeing very, very high positivity rates and an increasing lack of capacity to do any effective form of contact tracing, which is going to further drive the disease into darkness.”

German Of The Day: Impfstoffnationalismus

That means “vaccine nationalism.” Now, what that might mean in English I have not the slightest idea. This guy is always coming up with odd word constructions.

Nationalismus

But hey, it’s his job. At least I think that’s what he does for a living.

Coronavirus: Germany warns against ‘vaccine nationalism‘ – Nations must work in a spirit of cooperation rather than selfishness in the fight against coronavirus, German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier stressed. His appeal came at the start of the World Health Summit in Berlin.

“No-one is safe from COVID-19; no-one is safe until we are all safe from it. Even those who conquer the virus within their own borders remain prisoners within these borders until it is conquered everywhere.”

 

Here’s What Happens When You Do Everything Right

Corona-wise, I mean (around 12,000 new infections a day now in Germany these days – highest rate here yet). You know, face masks, social distancing and all that?

Toilet Paper

Germans Are Panic Buying Toilet Paper And Disinfectants As Covid-19 Surges Again – Unlike the April lockdown, where massive hoarding led to empty store shelves, German retailers claim that they are better prepared this time.

“After the events we saw earlier this year, we are monitoring changes in demand more closely than ever to ensure that nothing is in short supply.”

“Motivated By Islamic Extremism?”

“Most likely.” It’s not like Islamic extremism is actually responsible itself.

Dresden

Germany: Dresden knife attack likely motivated by Islamic extremism – German police say they have arrested an asylum seeker suspected of killing one person and wounding another in Dresden two weeks ago. Prosecutors are now treating the deadly stabbing as a possible terrorist attack.

German of the day: Herumeiern. To “egg around,” as to walk on eggshells. That is, to pussy-foot (with an emphasis on pussy): To act in a cautious or non-committal way.

No Russian Collusion Here

Because it’s German collusion instead.

Justice

German businessman charged over exports to Russian military – Prosecutors say a German businessman and an alleged accomplice have been charged over the delivery of machinery to a company linked to the Russian military in violation of European Union sanctions

Ihm wird vorgeworfen, zwischen 2016 und 2018 Werkzeugmaschinen im Wert von acht Millionen Euro an einen staatlichen Rüstungskonzern geliefert zu haben, der Raketensysteme für die russische Armee herstellt.

 

“Work Again?”

Is this German humor? In a British tabloid?

Germany

“Will Germany’s effective Covid strategy work again as it enters a second wave?” It didn’t work the first time, folks (they’re up to 7,000+ new infections a day now, and climbing). Even though the Germans, as Klassenbeste (best in class), did everything right. Right? Face masks, social distancing, etc.

It could almost make one think that these face masks don’t help.

“The first wave taught us that if politicians and scientists work together, they have more chance of beating this virus.”

Not Just The Italian Mafia

Any kind of international crime organization you want sees Germany’s justice system as a joke.

Mafia

Italian mafia sees German justice system as ‘a joke’ – The Italian mafia has hundreds of members in Germany pulling strings in the international drug trade. The latest major trial shows how lengthy legal procedures and lenient verdicts are no match for organized crime.

“Our prosecution system is a joke for mafia groups. In the mafia, they price this in — they expect to face trials and even convictions. But the penalties threatened in Germany are laughably mild. They’re not a deterrent. The mafia isn’t bothered by them.”