Nervous Germans More Nervous Than Usual For Some Reason

I haven’t been able to decrypt this Deutsche Welle article yet but at least there aren’t that many words in it.

Trump

Here are most of them: Disbelief… bad dream… cold sweat… irritation… extremely alarming… dangerous… help of fake news… populist… irrational… awful phantom… concerned… not been very convincing… catastrophic mistake… contempt… inauguration.

“There are no signs showing that it will be good.”

Time For More Yummy Berlin Fashion!

At Berlin Fashion Week!

Berlin Fashion Week

And they’re finally bringing out a collection for the rest of us. It’s called “Alien Nation” and I couldn’t feel more alienated if I tried.

This latest collection, prepared for the autumn/winter 2017/18 season, is being shown under the title “Alien Nation,” a nod to the estrangement that Goy and Kubeja, like many other artists today, feel as a result of the shifts in the political climate. “The collection is not as pictorial as previous collections have been,” said Goy.

Leading German Fake News Provider Upset That News It Calls Real Now Being Called Fake By Others

Aghast (along with CNN) at allegations by President-elect Donald Trump that the fake news they and other major fake news purveyors regularly claim to be real is actually fake, German fake news provider Der Spiegel now claims that the President-elect’s allegations are “like totally fake already.”

Fake

“He can’t be serious, can he? Let’s get real here, people,” said one empörter (indignant) journalist in Hamburg. “He’s faking it. And I know a fake when I see one. That’s my job. And I mean that. For real.”

Fake News ist für manche die unbelastete Variante von “Lügenpresse” und ein bequemes Schlagwort für alles Neue, was einem nicht in den Kram passt. Auch in Deutschland findet das Nachahmer bei jenen, die die von ihnen sogenannten Mainstream-Medien ins Visier genommen haben.

Spectacular!

The new Elbphilharmonie!!

Elbphilharmonie

Instead of costing the planned 77 million euros it ended up costing Hamburg 800 million instead!!!

Breathtaking or something. Enjoy your status while you can, Hamburg. Just wait until the final cost for Berlin’s airport gets determined. If it ever does, I mean. We will CRUSH you!

Die Hansestädter sind froh, dass das Ding endlich fertig ist. Der Bau sollte 77 Millionen Euro kosten, am Ende waren es fast 800 Millionen.

German Bad Word Of The Year 2016: Volksverräter

That means traitor, or traitor of the people. And it’s actually a non-word or un-word of the year, not just a bad word of the year. Although it’s all three, I guess.

Traitor

And if you look carefully at that photo you will see the feminine form of that word. Just in case you were wondering.

Each year, German linguists elect one word as the ‘Unwort’ (non-word) of the year. For 2016, the winner was a term meaning ‘traitor’ which has strong Nazi connotations.

Das Wort sei ein “Erbe von Diktaturen“, sagte sie. In der Begründung der Jury heißt es, Anhänger von Pegida, AfD und ähnlichen Initiativen würden den Begriff als Vorwurf gegenüber Politikern verwenden. Er sei undifferenziert und diffamierend und würde “das ernsthafte Gespräch und damit die für Demokratie notwendigen Diskussionen in der Gesellschaft” abwürgen.

I’ll Fill Your Prescription For You, Baby

The German Green party is not wacky or comprised of „weltfremde Spinner“ (unrealistic weirdos). Honest. Or at least that’s what they’ve been telling us for years and years.

Sex

But every once in a while something short-circuits and they get all atavistic on us and pull something where you realize that they are totally coo coo for cocoa puffs after all. The latest: A German Lawmaker Wants the State to Pay for Prostitutes for the Elderly – The Green Party lawmaker says she can imagine authorities “financing sexual assistance.”

Damn. This could give elder abuse a whole new meaning.

Tübingens Grüner Oberbürgermeister kritisiert den Vorstoß, Sexdienste für Pflegebedürftige finanzieren zu wollen. Die Grünen setzten sich wieder einmal dem Vorwurf aus, „weltfremde Spinner“ zu sein.

The Spy Who PowerPointed Me

Just like the way Russia doesn’t spy on US-Amerika, Iran doesn’t spy on Germany, either.

Spy

And when not doing so, Iranian spies don’t send PowerPoint presentations that incorrectly communicate biographical details about the target they are not targeting, either.

The exact motive for carrying out a possible attack on Robbe is still unclear. However, security agencies speculate that the Iranian government could have been preparing a retaliatory move against people closely linked to Israel should Israel carry out airstrikes against Iranian nuclear power plants.

Germans Worried American Tanks Could Be Dangerous

The “risky roadshow” now rolling across Germany toward Poland could be, I dunno, an “embodiment of the United States’ commitment to deterring aggression and defending our European Allies and partners” or something.

Tanks

And who could possibly want that?

Some 3,500 troops from the 4th Infantry Division in Fort Carson, Colorado, will join up with the equipment, which includes 87 tanks and 144 Bradley fighting vehicles, over the next two weeks… The new forces will gather first in Poland, then fan out across seven countries from Estonia to Bulgaria. A headquarters unit will be stationed in Germany.

Bedrohliche Musik, Bilder bewaffneter Milizionäre in der Ukraine, Karten eines sich nach Westen ausbreitenden Russlands: Die US-Armee in Europa hat auf ihrer Website ein Video über ihre Operation “Atlantic Resolve” (“Atlantische Entschlossenheit”) veröffentlicht: Die Botschaft: Nach der Besetzung der Krim und der Destabilisierung der Ostukraine könnte Russlands nächstes Opfer ein EU-Land sein, weshalb die US-Armee Europa zur Hilfe eilt.

Arresting One Of The Fourteen Would Have Been Enough

Why did German authorities fail to stop Anis Amri, Spiegel asks? Like, duh. Because they can. And boy oh boy can they ever.

Amri

I mean, what didn’t go wrong here? Now it’s come out that this guy was known to German authorities under fourteen different identities long before the attack in Berlin took place. Nothing suspicious there, right? That’s why nothing was undertaken, I guess. Now people are asking why but they already know why because that’s why German authorities are there. To do nothing. Except get reprimanded for using bad words. That’s why. Inspires confidence, doesn’t it?

Aus einem Bericht des NRW-Landeskriminaldirektors Dieter Schürmann vor dem Ausschuss ging hevor, dass Amri den deutschen Behörden unter insgesamt 14 verschiedenen Identitäten bekannt war.

German Of The Day: Mogelpackung

That means deceptive packaging. And it’s not just in politics either, folks.

Deception

Lots of products get packaged deceptively over here, too. Take these chips, for instance. You get 25 grams less product for the same not-all-that-low price!

Can’t wait to see who wins “Mogelpackung 2016.” The competition never sleeps.

Zu dieser Wahl ruft die Verbraucherzentrale Hamburg auf, die das ganze Jahr über Beispiele für versteckte Preiserhöhungen gesammelt hat. Das Prinzip ist stets das gleiche: In einer Packung ist weniger drin, aber der Preis bleibt unverändert.