His wonders never ceasing, President Obama is now said to be planning to move Turkey to Europe during a live television broadcast from Las Vegas which could be aired sometime later this year.

After saying that Turkey’s membership to the EU (that country technically not a part of Europe) would be an important symbol of cooperation between the West and the Muslim world and thereby pissing off our new-real-good-buddies-again France and Germany who are seemingly less than impressed about the thought of having to cooperate that much, aides close to the President said that he is beginning to lose his patience with their recalcitrance and is planning the physical relocation of the massive Eurasian landmass “up north” with a mere clap of his hands, thus alleviating the problem. “This just in case Germany and France don’t like chill already,” one aide said.

Rumors that White House staffers have already made contact with David Copperfield could not be substantiated but sources close to Criss Angel say that this is the kind of Mindfreak that’s right up his alley (or ally?).

“A strong partnership requires shared responsibility.”