Flashmob this!

Stübi only meant well. Well, maybe he didn’t mean well. Maybe he was just being a prick, but still. Kids will be kids or something.

Jeez, the beach stinks today.

After losing his job and his girlfriend, this guy in Hamburg (his friends call him Stübi) organized one of those newfangled impromptu flashmob get together thangs – on the German resort island of Sylt (just a couple hours up north by train). How should I put it? Some 5000 friends showed up.

Needless to say, folks on Sylt don’t flashmob. They just rake in the money from all the regular and über-regular folks who come to their rather overpriced island to vacation. They expect the appropriate attire and behavior and money, of course. The el cheapo student/backpack/beach tent types should stay down home in Hamburg or Berlin or wherever the hell it is they belong and take a long walk in the park or go to one of those artificial beach thingies instead.

Now everybody on Sylt is pissed off that this wild hoard of drunken punks could somehow have managed to breach their sandy island castle walls and wreak (reek?) havoc among their otherwise so peaceful and well-behaved guests. They want to sue Stübi, in other words, maybe the whole crew, damn it. But sue all 5000 of them? Hey, wait a minute. This could be a new source of revenue the Sylters hadn’t thought to tap into yet…

“Alle Mann zum Verwaltungsgericht, wir gewinnen den Prozess”.


11 responses

    • Yeah irisofthewayfarer, I’ve spent some time there. It really is a beautiful place, but I know people who have grown up there like you did and I can understand why one might not want to stay there forever. With them it’s that small-town-everybody-knows-your-business kind of thing. And the cost of living thing now, too. The locals often get priced out due to the ridiculous real estate costs, this due to all of the rich out-of-towners-Sylters who have bought up everything they can find over the decades. It’s hard for normal folks to get by here, in other words. But that’s the case all over, I guess – there are certainly worse places out there to have to punch it out.

  1. What you say is true for all resort communities though. It is true for the Long Islands, the Hamptons, the Aspens, etc. I left the island in 1981 and even then we had employees at the firm where I worked come over from the mainland every day.
    I live in a resort community in Michigan where it is the very same. The kids that graduate from school and are not going on to college or University, the ones that want to work here, can’t live here. It is pathetic. Everything has been bought by Chicagoans. Very sad, but that’s the way it’s been for a very, very long time.

    What do you do in Europe? You are quite critical.

  2. 1981? What a coincidence, that’s when I arrived in Berlin. Sure it’s the same all over – only different. <;-) Europe didn't do anything to me, of course. I like it here (otherwise I wouldn't still be here). I just find this German (OK, European) anti-Americanism so sad and hypocritical and hysterical and, well, boring. There's this global anti-American mindset über-Industry that I don't get and don't really care for, to be honest, and it never stops. Ironically, it has its roots in America (we export everything), but that's another story… What I do here is just a harmless little hobby, den Spieß man umzudrehen.

  3. That anti Americanism will never stop. Americans are seen as too militant for the European sensibilities. WWII is the culprit there and understandable. But on the lighter side, the Germans do love to know an American, have you noticed that?

    What do you do in Europe?, if you don’t mind me asking

  4. Yeah, I know. There is/will be no end to it. I’m not on a crusade or anything, just something to pass the time… I’m your typical corporate IT drone at the moment. Somebody has to do it.

      • Don’t worry too much. I knew some foreigners in Germany who only received a visa for a certain Bezirk, e.g. Raum Köln, etc., and Hartz IV recipients have to be available every day at their registered address, so don’t worry, they are working hard at getting the disorder in order.

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