German Of The Day: Treppenwitz

This means “staircase wit,” or a story with peculiar irony.

Like the latest German Green Treppenwitz: When two nuclear power plants are allowed to continue running but not allowed to produce electricity.

Germany to keep two nuclear plants available as a backup and burn coal as it faces an energy crisis brought on by war and climate change – The German government announced its plans to keep the Isar 2 and Neckarwestheim nuclear power plants, both of which are located in the southern part of the country, on a kind of backup status, available only if the country has no other option.

Happy Vatertag!

German of the day: Tradition. That means tradition.

“The Führer gave a holiday to any woman who bore at least one child, the men he sent to the front! What an asshole, we see yet again.

The man had to conquer Father’s Day laboriously himself. His choice fell on Ascension Day, a movable fest, lying around quite meaningless in the calendar anyway. And lo and behold, the choice was good! Outside it’s already quite warm and the annoying relatives haven’t taken over your place like they do during Christmas.

Now all that was left to do was fill the event with content. The choice fell on a classic of male leisure activity: DRINK UNTIL YOUR PUKE TASTES SOUR! In addition, howl around like an idiot, piss everywhere and tell dirty jokes. Virtually paradise on Earth, in other words.

Aware of being the stronger of the sexes, the man can also afford to run around dressed like a complete dumbass. He doesn’t get gussied up on his holiday like his haughty wife does on hers, oh no, he puts a buffoon’s hat on his red beet head, wears rolled up corduroy pants and screws a bicycle bell on his walking stick. Dressed like that, anyone can easily see that he’s been transformed into a complete idiot while he and his fellow idiot companions stagger through the forest like containers for Pawian shit.

But because a man is a man, he needs a task. In this case: Pulling a little wooden wagen. On it stands the fuel for the drunkard horde: 50 liters of Pils, 10 bottles of Appelkorn and 30 rubbers, still originally packed from the previous year.

By noon, the weakest are already beginning to flounder, the green slime oozing out of a body orifice that once was called the mouth. All the wagen wheel nuts are loose and the only thing that keeps them going is their sense of duty. That is, to drain the last 20 beers down their swollen gorges.

The greatest joy still awaits the man at the end of Father’s Day: Call home to have his battle axe pick him up from the jungle, drool all over her new dress while she carries him in to dump him on the sofa, and throw the puke bucket at the stupid cat.

Because this is the ONLY day of the year where father belongs to himself. And the rest have to shut their traps!”

New Business Model

Man Got 87 Doses Of Covid-19 Coronavirus Vaccines – On some days, he got as many as three separate shots.

Reportedly, each time the man showed up to get vaccinated, he was armed, so to speak, with another blank vaccination document so that the vaccine batch number could be filled in the document after he got the shot. He could then sell these documents to people who wanted to pretend that they had gotten vaccinated and needed faux Covid-19 vaccination records. This scam may have worked, oh the first 80 or so times. But eventually staff members recognized the man, caught on, and notified the police.

Yacht To Have Docked It Someplace Else

That oligarch was really cruising for a bruising. Take a bow, Germany. Looks like there will be a sail on megayachts in Hamburg soon…

European authorities seize oligarch’s megayacht in German port – Authorities in Germany have seized Russian oligarch Alisher Usmanov’s 500-foot megayacht, the Dilbar, as part of the package of sanctions against the Kremlin and its supporters, Forbes magazine reported.

The ship was taken by authorities in the north German port of Hamburg on Wednesday. The megayacht is estimated to be worth $600 million.

Europe’s Sleeping Giant Awakes?

Uh, believe me. Germany is still sleeping. Sound asleep. And a giant is the last thing it is. Certainly not when it comes to its military.

Europe’s Sleeping Giant Awakens – Politics in Berlin has undergone a cataclysm that no one saw coming.

Scholz announced that Germany would end its dependence on Russian gas (no, they won’t), spend an additional 100 billion euros on its military (a lot but not nearly enough), and deliver hundreds of anti-tank weapons and Stinger missiles to Ukraine in order to help its overmatched military counter Russia’s all-out assault (nice symbolic gesture). Germany may also be forced to extend the life of its nuclear plants to fill the energy gap created by the halt to Russian gas supplies (ha, ha, ha).

“Freedom does not mean as much in Germany as it might in other places,” this person told me, speaking on the condition of anonymity in order to candidly discuss German political mores. “If the trade-off is between economic decline and an erosion of freedoms, Germany could well choose the latter.”

This Will Show Them Russkies

And if lighting up stuff in the national colors of Ukraine doesn’t help, we may have to consider building a Menschenkette (a chain of people holding hands). As a last resort, we MIGHT even ask them to sing We Shall Overcome. So, like watch it, Putin. Give peace a chance, or something.

Berlin and Paris illuminate buildings in Ukrainian colours in show of unity – The German capital lit up the Brandenburg Gate, Berlin’s most famous landmark in blue and yellow, the national colours of Ukraine, on Wednesday evening in a show of unity with Kyiv as the crisis with Russia deepens.

Even “Kevin” Will Do

But you don’t have to name your kid Kevin. Don’t get me wrong. I’m just sayin’.

You can be German even if your name is not ‘Klaus’ or ‘Erika’ -Merkel.

Chancellor Angela Merkel said on Tuesday migrants who settle in Germany are German even if they have foreign-sounding names, making a subtle dig at a widespread habit among white Germans of asking Turks born on German soil where they come from.

“Integration cannot be a seven-generation endeavour that never ends just because one isn’t called Klaus or Erika,” Merkel said with a wry smile during a ceremony to mark 60 years since Germany signed a treaty with Turkey to bring in hundreds of thousands of Turkish men to fill labour shortages in the 1960s.

Meanwhile… Germany’s Merkel says some 10-40,000 left in Afghanistan with right to German residence.

German Of The Day: Kameltreiber

That means camel herder.

It’s a verboten word, of course. That’s why anyone using it must be publically tried and found guilty in the media courtroom. More fake moral outrage, in other words. Yawn.

A German Cycling Official Apologizes After Shouting A Racial Slur During A Race – TV cameras picked up a German cycling official yelling a racial slur during the men’s time trial Wednesday at the Tokyo Olympics, prompting an apology from the official and a reaction from at least two of the cyclists involved…

At the time, Arndt was trying to catch rival riders from Algeria and Eritrea. Looking on, Moster shouted, “Get the camel drivers” several times, according to Deutsche Welle.