German Of The Day: Groß

We spell it gross. That means big. Not gross. You know, our gross, as in “a gross exaggeration?”

Merz

That’s what’s calling Friedrich Merz “Germany’s Donald Trump” certainly is. A “hardline conservative” in Germany is a liberal light in US-Amerika.

But having said that, when I read from our friends over at Politico about “A combative old white man who speaks of gays and pedophiles in the same breath, dismisses gender debates as a waste of time and who can’t stand Angela Merkel could hardly be more out of step with the zeitgeist,” I ask myself, what’s not to like about this guy?

 

Journalists Fascinated By Rare VW Kamikaze Attack

No one was injured in the attack, of course. Nor was the VW used in the attack damaged.

Car

This was a German kamikaze attack, after all.

Germany: Car crashes into gates of Angela Merkel’s chancellery – Berlin police have arrested a man who drove his car into the gates of the office of German Chancellor Angela Merkel. A vehicle with the same license plates carried out a similar stunt in 2014.

Photos showed a car with a message scrawled on one of its sides reading: “You damned children and old people murderers.” The white paint on the other side said: “Stop Globalization Politics.”

I Guess This Guy Was Just Fed Up With People

Personally, I find that calling someone a “cannibal” is politically incorrect and highly offensive. These days, one should refer to them as “humanitarians.”

Cannibal

German police have arrested a 41-year-old man on suspicion of cannibalism after they found human bones stripped completely of flesh in a Berlin suburb.

Berlin prosecutors said Friday they are “investigating at full speed to shed light on the sexual murder with suspicion of a cannibalistic background”.

PS: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner? The cold shoulder.

Never Forget: Europeans Would Overwhelmingly Vote for Joe Biden

And we want to be just like them.

Europe

A majority of 11,000 residents across five countries in Europe—Germany, Italy, Spain, France and Great Britain—say they are watching the U.S. presidential election closely, and are very much in favor of Biden taking the White House Tuesday. The BVA pollster group found Germans are watching the U.S. contest most carefully, with 85 percent saying they are very interested in the the November 3 outcome compared to about 70 percent in the other four nations.

Only 8 percent of Germans said they would vote for Trump if it was them casting ballots across America in four days.

“Germany’s Smart, Simple Formula for Fighting Its Coronavirus Spike”

Isn’t working. And won’t work (in the mid- to long term). Their smart, simple formula last March (the big lockdown) didn’t work either.

Covid

But none of your readers are interested in that. You’ve trained them well.

When it’s come to fighting the coronavirus crisis, Germany has been a model among Western nations. Under Chancellor Angela Merkel’s leadership, the country’s swift and organized initial response to the pandemic kept deaths low and quickly pushed case rates down to a controllable level. Its successes have in many ways stood as the starkest contrast to America’s scattered, disastrous response—proof that a large democracy with a federal form of government could, in fact, get a handle on the disease.

But…

PS: Always remember that everything before “but” was a lie.

Great Pumpkin Finally Discovered

And neutralized. And then given an award.

Pumpkin

Finally, some non-fake news we can dig our teeth into.

Monster pumpkin weighing almost 1,600 lbs wins annual prize in Germany – A man from Bavaria has won this year’s award for the heaviest pumpkin grown in Germany, with his winning entry weighing in at a whopping 1,588 pounds (720.5 kilos).

The Great Pumpkin is an unseen character in the comic strip Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz. According to Linus van Pelt, the Great Pumpkin is a supernatural figure who rises from the pumpkin patch on Halloween evening, and flies around bringing toys to sincere and believing children. Linus continues to have faith in the Great Pumpkin, despite his friends’ mockery and disbelief.

 

Number Of Germans Reporting In Sick Has Fallen To Dangerously Low Levels

This is a real German dilemma. How do you gracefully call in sick to stay home when you’re already home playing sick in the first place? OK, to avoid being sick. But still.

Sick

Coronavirus: Fewer Germans call in sick during pandemic – With many avoiding the doctor’s office and working from home during the coronavirus pandemic, the number of German workers reporting in sick has fallen to below average levels.

“After a record high at the end of March, the number of sick employees insured by TK dropped to a below-average level.”

PS: And this at a time when other folks refuse to call in sick when maybe they ought of sort of should.

“Fascist” Just Doesn’t Work Anymore

I know. Why don’t we give “QAnon” a try?

QAnon

It is, after all, “the most dangerous cult of our times.”

Traditionally weak in the argument department, those of the leftist fringe normally call those who don’t agree with them “racists,” “Nazis,” “bigots” or “Fascists,” to name a few, but now their marketing department has discovered that these insults just don’t have the customer appeal they once enjoyed. This is they have now introduced a new product: “QAnon.” Guaranteed to to bludgeon thought criminals into line every time. At least until the next product comes along.

QAnon’s Inexorable Spread Beyond the U.S. – The bizarre, pro-Trump cult known as QAnon has been gaining followers in the United States for months. Now, the conspiracy theory has begun spreading to Germany. It’s followers believe that the coronavirus is a weapon of the elite in their quest to enslave the world.