German Of The Day: Bildungsurlaub

That means educational or vocational training leave. You know, like that yoga course you took for your job?

Yoga

What? Your boss freaked out at the suggestion? Well, everybody does it here in Berlin. Yoga to go with the times, people.

A yoga course can be considered vocational training, a Berlin court has ruled, paving the way to doing the “Downward-facing Dog” or “Greet the Sun” on company time in Germany’s capital.

The state labour court for Berlin-Brandenburg has ruled a worker has the right to paid leave so they can attend a five-day adult education course entitled “Yoga I – successful and relaxed at work with yoga and meditation”.

The judge ruled that under Berlin’s Educational Leave Act, even a yoga course fulfills the far-reaching criteria of “professional development” which would promote an individual’s “adaptability and self-assertion”.

“Yoga I – erfolgreich und entspannt im Beruf mit Yoga und Meditation.”

Advertisements

Kings of Kallstadt

President Trump Keeps Falsely Saying His Father Was Born In Germany.

It’s an honest mistake, I guess. If he never saw this German documentary called “Kings of Kallstadt,” I mean. His grandfather – as did H. J. Heinz of the famous ketchup company – both stemmed from this same small German town in the Rhineland. The film is in German, of course, but even if you don’t speak German it gets interesting around minute 48.

What’s also interesting about the film, I think, is that this takes place shortly before Donald Trump ran for President and the civil tone of the whole undertaking is breathtaking. Before all the poison that came out later, I mean. The film is a bit of an accident, in other words.

“He was born in a very wonderful place in Germany.”

Like Rats Leaving A Sinking Ship

Only the ship already sank and the rats are all wet. In more ways than one.

Rats

Sometimes you’ve got to lose in life to get ahead. Like three times in a row. As did the SPD‘s top candidate for the elections in Hesse, Thorsten Schäfer-Gümbel, before landing this way cool cushy job as Personalvorstand bei der staatseigenen Gesellschaft für internationale Zusammenarbeit (GiZ) – the Human Resources Director at the State-Owned Company for International Cooperation – yesterday. For 200,000 euros a year.

Now that’s the kind of Social Democracy I can live with, pal. And hey; without losers, where would the winners be?

KÜNFTIG RUND 200 000 EURO JAHRESGEHALT FÜR PARTEI-VIZE SCHÄFER-GÜMBEL. Spitzenjob als Belohnung für SPD-Wahlverlierer!

A German Aircraft Carrier Makes Sense To Me

It’s not like the Bundeswehr‘s aircraft can fly anywhere now. This way they can at least ship them from A to B.

Flugzeugträger

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is endorsing the idea of developing a joint European aircraft carrier, as suggested by her party’s leader. Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer, who succeeded Merkel in December as leader of the Christian Democratic Union, made the proposal in a weekend response to French President Emmanuel Macron’s proposals for European Union reform. She noted that Germany and France are already working together on a future European combat aircraft.

Uhm, have they maxed out on her medication? I guess it really is time for her to leave.

Mit Merkel ist die Fantasie durchgegangen.

Take Your Alternative Citizen Test Today!

Just answer the following questions politically correctly and you could become a German citizen!

German

Is US-Amerika to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Do you love to obsess about the privacy of the data no one is forcing you to place on your numerous free social media platforms nor is particularly interested in?

Are you convinced that your recycling and waste separation efforts are saving the lives of polar bears as we speak?

Are you OK with the fact that you are a “pacifist” living in one of the world’s largest weapons exporting nations?

Is your first impulse to shut down all of your nuclear power plants whenever an earthquake takes place in Japan?

Is it OK for you to pretend to be more European than other Europeans are while dominating those other Europeans with your crushing economic might?

Do you believe everything you see every night on your tax-funded state TV news channels?

Are you considering reducing the number of your annual vacation flights from three down to one to help combat Global Warming?

Is US-Amerika still to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Well then, if the answer to those was an emphatic “Yes!” you don’t worry about taking the alternative citizenship test. You’re a German already.

Please note: This is just a small sampling of the questions asked during the final examination.

Man Bites Dog

Just kidding. Dog shoots man.

Dog

And here the Germans are always accousing Americans of having way too lax gun regulations. Sheesh.

A court in Munich has refused a hunter’s legal claim to get his gun license back and be allowed to carry weapons. A loaded gun left inside his car two years ago was the start of his problems.

In November 2016, a German hunter was at a game reserve northeast of Dresden and talking to a passerby when his dog accidentally set off his gun from inside the car. The hunter was wounded in the arm. As a result, the hunter lost both his weapons’ license and his hunting permit, which authorities have refused to extend.

Must have had a dog hair trigger.

How Sexist Or Something

The Berlin International Film Festival will sign the 50/50 by 2020 gender parity pledge,

Gender

So, like, let me get this straight. You are ASSuming that there are only TWO genders or what, Herr Dieter Kosslick with the dopey hat? You’re going to get letters, pal. Some might have explosives in them, too.

At first I thought they meant 50/50 with regard to the quality of the films they show here at the Berlinale. You know, 50 percent crappy and the other 50 percent really crappy? But I was way off, as usual.

The 50/50 by 2020 pledge does not mandate gender quotas, but calls for festivals to strive for gender parity in top management and for them to publish figures on the gender of the directors of films submitted every year.

Even I Can See That These Are Fakes

A. HitPer? Never heard of him.

Hitper

Three watercolour paintings attributed to the former Nazi leader Adolf Hitler have been seized by German police.

The works were up for sale at the Kloss auction house in Berlin, but taken on suspicions of forgery, police say.

“Wir verwahren uns mit aller Entschiedenheit dagegen, dass uns von unberufener Seite eine Nähe zum nationalsozialistischen Gedankengut allein deswegen unterstellt wird, weil wir – ähnlich wie andere Auktionshäuser weltweit, gerade auch in Deutschland – Gegenstände aus dem Nachlass Hitlers versteigern.”

No Nukes, No Coal, No Agribusiness…

No plastic, no non-refundable bottles and cans, no speeding

Agribusiness

No meat, no new economy, no tourism, no gentrification, no toxic masculinity, no defense spending, no borders? Hell no. But that’s just the tip of the German ICEBERG OF NO. Let’s call it the German NICEBERG. Germans think positive, you see, and want to move ahead, progressively, into the future. After all the no’s are said and done – and that might take some time yet, mind you – whatever’s left, well, that’s the brave new future.

Thousands of farmers from across Germany and their supporters protested at Berlin’s landmark Brandenburg Gate on Saturday, calling for climate-friendly agriculture and healthy food.

“We are fed up with the agricultural industry.”