Brother Of Safia S. Now Islamist Criminal, Too

And his name is Brother S.

Safia

Sorry, I mean Saleh S. And don’t even think of telling me that you don’t know who Safia S. is cause I know you do. But now her brother, Saleh S., has been given seven years of Jugendstrafe (youth custody) for carrying out an Islamist-motivated arson attack. In Germany, people. That means he could literally spend months in prison.

Mother S. and Father S. could not be reached for comment. Nor could Cousin S. (no relation to Cousin Itt). Nor could the Dog S. of the Great Aunt S. of the Neighbor Across The Street S. Okay, S. reicht (that’s enough) already!

Das Landgericht der Stadt hat Saleh S. nun wegen versuchten Mordes in sieben Fällen schuldig gesprochen. Dem Gericht zufolge hat der junge Mann gestanden, am 5. Februar 2016 aus islamistischen Motiven zwei Molotow-Cocktails in den Haupteingang eines Einkaufszentrums in Hannover geworfen zu haben.

PS: Talk about your Fahrenheit 351 (I know, it’s actually Fahrenheit 451). There are currently 351 Islamists with warrants out for their arrests being searched for by police in Germany. It is unclear, however, how many of them are members of the S. family.

Paris?

Germany can’t even reach the climate targets it has set for itself (see objective media coverage below).

Earth

A thirty-three page report has just confirmed what most German global climate saviors already knew: There is no way in hell that the more than ambitious climate target set by the federal government some ten years back will ever be reached. Emissions were to drop 40 percent the year 2020. They haven’t quite dropped 28 percent yet. The main problem – now get this – being German cars. Like, duh. Ever hear of Volkswagen & Co.?

Ein wesentliches Problem: Der Verkehrsbereich hat seine Emissionen kaum reduziert. So notwendig ein allgemeines Umsteuern beim Autoverkehr ist, so unpopulär sind die Maßnahmen im Einzelnen.

“We in Germany, in Europe and the world will band together to take more decisive action than ever to confront and successfully surmount major challenges to humanity such as climate change.”

German Of The Day: Schaumschläger

That means “foam basher.” And that means somebody who makes a lot of noise but doesn’t deliver, a hot-air artist. Hmm. There sure is a whole lot of foam in that beer mug she’s holding down there, don’t you think?

Foam

“The times when we could fully rely on others are to some extent over — I experienced that in the last few days,” Merkel told her supporters, according to Bloomberg. “We Europeans must really take our destiny into our own hands.”

That’s the moment when she took that foamy beer mug into her own hands, I guess. Or maybe somebody had just handed it to her after it had finally reached the end of this pipeline.

Breath deeply, everyone. It’s election season in Germany. And if you can’t pick up a few votes by bashing Donald Trump over here then you can’t poor foam out of a boot.

Die Kanzlerin brachte den Frust des G7-Gipfels vom Wochenende mit, die Parteivorsitzende das Wissen darum, dass Kritik an den USA und vor allem an Trump bei Wählerinnen und Wählern in Deutschland bestens ankommt. Der Hauptgegner im Wahlkampf, die Sozialdemokraten, spielen diese Karte schon länger. Und beide haben Europa wieder entdeckt.

Suspicious Object Found At SPD Headquarters

And it wasn’t the Schulz effect, either.

Stegner

German police gave an all-clear on Monday at the headquarters of the Social Democratic Party (SPD) in Berlin after it was evacuated due to a suspicious object found in the mail room.

The object, being the face and attached body of SPD federal chairman and state chairman of Schleswig-Holstein Ralf Stegner (aka “the face of defeat”), was found loitering around the mail room, mumbling incoherently (even though there were no microphones in sight), apparently having been looking for fan mail. For hours and hours and hours on end, I assume.

“There was nothing found on Stegner that could have been termed dangerous,” a police spokesman later said as his colleagues led Stegner back outside to put him on a FlixBus to Kiel. “Other than that face, I mean.”

German Of The Day: Vortex

That means vortex. And Germans are terrified by vortexes, you know.

Vortex

But they shouldn’t be terrified by that one. According to this article, few Germans even expect President Trump to finish his four-year term in the White House anyway. So like sit back and relax already. And let the vortex be with you.

Less than 25 percent of Germans think US President Donald Trump will complete his four-year term in office, according to a public opinion poll released Saturday. More than two-thirds of those surveyed said categorically that they believe Trump will be out of office before his term expires in January 2021. The survey was conducted by Civey, an opinion research group, for the daily newspaper Die Welt.

Germany Not To Reach Its E-Car Goal

Nope. Sadly, chancellor Angela Merkel has just announced that Germany will not be able to reach its goal of having at least 20 e-cars on German roads by the year 2020.

E-Car

This extremely ambitious goal, mocked from the start by gas-guzzling German automobile experts everywhere (some 97 percent of the German population), has now been scrapped for a more realistic goal of a nice round non-dirty dozen.

Chancellor Angela Merkel said that Germany will likely miss the government’s target of bringing one million electric cars onto the roads by the end of the decade. The sale of electric vehicles (EVs) has remained sluggish in Germany despite discounts introduced last year and granted to buyers of green cars. In 2016, there were less than 80,000 electric cars on German roads. Experts say German consumers remain reluctant to buy EVs because of relatively high prices, limited driving range and restrictions due to the low number of charging stations.

Merkel: Ziel für E-Autos nicht zu schaffen.

The Turnaround Has Been Achieved

I didn’t think I would be seeing this in my lifetime, folks, but Germany did NOT get last place at the Eurovision song competition last night in Kiev – a century-long Eurovision tradition, as you know.

Deutschland

They came in second to last (thank you, Spain). I can hardly wait for next year’s show!

Ja! Deutschland ist nicht Letzter. Trotz der leichten Verbesserung ist es ein Debakel für die deutsche Delegation, die in unendlicher Arroganz mal wieder alles falsch gemacht hat, was man falsch machen konnte.

Germans Can’t Stop Laughing These Days

This is a real shocker, folks. A new study indicates that 29 percent of Germans laugh less than five times a day or not at all.

Lachen

Wow. They really seem to have made great progress here these past few years. I remember when it used to be 79 percent, or higher.

But, sadly, this is also an indication of the sorry state our troubled world is in: The study also shows that Germans are mostly amused by others’ bad luck (Schadenfreude).

Lachen ist gesund – ein Gemeinplatz. Doch wenn eine Krankenkasse jetzt 15 Minuten herzhaftes Lachen pro Tag empfiehlt, kann das sehr anstrengend sein. Dann sind wir doch lieber unlustig.

What Goes Around Comes Around

What’s worse? Governments that openly deal in stolen information (Germany buying CDs from informants with lists of Germans having Swiss bank accounts) or Governments that spy on governments who do so?

Mole

Ha. Ha. Ha.

German investigators suspect that a mole spied for Swiss intelligence from inside a government office which was trying to catch German tax dodgers… Switzerland objects to the practice of buying data stolen from Swiss banks.

SPD empört über Steuer-Spitzeleien der Schweiz.