This real war stuff is like so von gestern (yesterday). That’s why the Germans want to move on and do cyber warfare instead. You can cut costs that way, in a big way (except when it comes to your real weapons sales) and the Americans won’t always be moaning at you to finally start shooting at somebody because you already are, sort of. Well you are virtually, I suppose, and that’s close enough for the Bundeswehr.

Recent cyber attacks from friendly nations like China have alarmed the German Government, you see, and that’s why the Bundeswehr is forming this new cyber warfare unit whose 76 members will singlehandedly protect the nation from future attacks of this nature while simultaneously learning how to take down enemy countries at the same time, cyberneticly speaking.

Why do I get the distinct feeling that the Germans are going to be really good at this type of thing? I’m telling you, it’s going to be just like the Chaos Computer Club all over again, only this time in uniform. But the uniforms won’t fit very well because of the regulation pizza they’ll have to eat.

„Bei der im Aufbau befindlichen Abteilung Informations- und Computernetzwerkoperationen arbeiten derzeit schon 76 Mitarbeiter.“