German Of The Day: Was wir wissen

That means what we know. You know, as in what we know and what we don’t know about the attack?

Manchester

We know everything already, of course (it was the Buddhists again). And we’ve heard all the reactions before. What will the hash tag be this time? It’s a ritual now. So why be so careful with formulations like that? We don’t want to jump to conclusions, or what? That’s just part of the ritual, I guess.

Der mutmaßliche Täter ist tot. Sein Motiv für den Anschlag auf ein Popkonzert in Manchester ist weiterhin unklar, die Polizei sucht nach möglichen Komplizen.

Radical Right-Wing German Soldier Granted Asylum In Germany As Syrian Refugee Turns Out To Be Wannabe Islamist Terrorist

Wait. It gets better. Or maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know what to say, people. But only a military counterintelligence service called MAD could come up with a story like this.

Terror

A German soldier who falsely registered as a Syrian asylum seeker has been arrested for planning a terror attack. Authorities believe the lieutenant was motivated by xenophobia…

Prosecutors said the man hid a loaded weapon in a bathroom at  Vienna airport in January. He was then briefly arrested by Austrian police when he returned in February to retrieve it.

They later released the soldier due to insufficient evidence. However, the suspect’s fingerprints indicated he had in late 2015 used an alias to falsely register as a Syrian refugee in Germany. In early 2016, he applied for asylum. He was subsequently granted accommodation and even received aid money.

Ein mutmaßlich rechtsradikaler Bundeswehrsoldat, der sich als Flüchtling und Syrer ausgab, soll einen Anschlag geplant haben.

German Of The Day: Na geht doch!

That means “works, see?” or “works after all” or “there you go!”

Geht

Let me give you an example: Two men who police believe planned an attack in the city of Göttingen have failed in their bid to avoid deportation. The Algerian and Nigerian will be repatriated to Africa despite both being born in Germany.

So these two clowns, both born and raised here (not having German citizenship, however – a fine distinction) get sent “back” to Nigeria and Algeria to live happily ever after there, never able to return to Germany again. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer couple of fellows, I say.

Na geht doch!

“They will face the full force of the law regardless of whether they were born here or not.”

Germans Worried About TTIP

Oops, I meant TATP, of course.

Terror

TATP stands for triacetone triperoxide and is an extremely powerful explosive substance that was found in the Chemnitz apartment of a Syrian refugee, an apartment German police raided just minutes after the suspect escaped.

This is the same stuff that was used by the suicide bombers in Paris last November. German state media is therefore going to go way out on the limb here for once and speculate that this particular refugee “might” have been involved in a so-called “terrorist” plot. Details at eleven or something.

Stunned residents reacted to the incident last night, with one neighbour slamming Albakr as an ‘a*******’ for his alleged plot – what a racist, xenophobic a******* that neighbour must be.

Die Polizei überwachte die Chemnitzer Wohnung, in der Sprengstoff gefunden wurde. Doch die Beamten konnten Jaber A. nicht stoppen, als der das Haus verließ.

German Of The Day: Spießrutenlauf

That means running the gauntlet. You know, like the kind Angela Merkel and other politicians had to run through today during the German Reunification Day celebrations in Dresden?

Merkel

Several hundred angry protesters confronted German Chancellor Angela Merkel outside Dresden‘s majestic Frauenkirche church on Monday morning, bringing Europe’s most powerful leader face-to-face with criticism of her migration policies on the 26th anniversary of German reunification.

Merkel arrived in Dresden to celebrate German Unity Day, the national holiday that marks the official reunification in 1990 of West Germany and former communist East Germany following the fall of the Berlin Wall.

But the chancellor was met with blaring whistles and hundreds of angry protesters chanting “Traitor of the people!” and “Merkel must go!” as she entered the church, which was surrounded by hundreds of protesters behind metal barricades that were lined with police officers.

Auch wenn viele Menschen friedlich feiern konnten, die rund 2600 Sicherheitskräfte die Situation bislang unter Kontrolle behielten: Stellenweise ging es gar nicht gut.

German Left-Wing Hooligans Respect The Police, Too

Police say more than 120 officers were injured and 86 demonstrators were detained during leftist riots in the German capital which police call “the most aggressive and violent protests in the last five years.”

Berlin

About 3,500 protesters participated in the rallies, which started Saturday evening and lasted until early Sunday. Activists had called for the demonstration to protest against police operations at buildings taken over the squatters in the eastern part of the city last month.

123 Polizisten wurden bei den schweren Krawallen verletzt. Die Polizei sprach von der aggressivsten und gewalttätigsten Demonstration seit Jahren in der Hauptstadt.

Confused Green Youth These Days

We all know how the enlightened left detests flag-waving. You know, flag-waving as in “a fallacious argument or propaganda technique used to justify an action based on the undue connection to nationalism or patriotism or benefit for an idea, group or country,” whatever that means exactly.

Greens

But the Greens in Germany have taken this to a new level. Their youth group has called for German soccer fans to leave their German flags at home during the Euro 2006 because, well, “Patriotismus=Nationalismus. Fußballfans Fahnen runter!” That is, Patriotism = Nationalism. Down with those flags, soccer fans!

How do you get to that point where something as harmless as rooting for your national team becomes a sinister act of rabid warmongering? Without using hallucinogenic drugs to get there, I mean.

Flags

“Besser Patriot als ein Idiot.”

PS: I don’t have a German flag handy but good luck with Ukraine tonight anyway, Germany!

German Of The Day: Wut-Burger

No, not Wut-Bürger (enraged citizen). Wut-Burger (Angriest Whopper), from Burger King. For enraged citizens, of course.

Wut-Burger

Talk about your Umsatz (sales). They’re going to be going through the roof. Just like all of the Wut-Bürger out there who are going to be ordering these things – available tomorrow!

So like take a chill pill already, folks. Or, better yet, have a relaxing refreshment along with your order. “Would you like a supersize beer with that Wut-Burger, Mr. Wut-Bürger?”

Der Wut-Bürger ist seit Monaten in aller Munde – aber einen Wut-Burger, den hat die Welt noch nicht gesehen.

Trump, Trumper, am Trumpsten

Am Trumpsten means “the most Trump-like” in German. Well it does now. I just made that up. That’s the cool thing about German. You can make up words right and left (in this case right?) and no force in the universe can stop you.

AfD

Anyway, it’s state election time in Germany today and Germany has a Trump-like problem. Germany’s Trump-like problem: Right-wing, anti-foreigner movement poised for big election win.

The problem has the same root cause the American Trump-like problem has, too. Nobody “up there” takes the worries of these folks “down here” seriously, particularly with regard to the refugee crisis. It’s time to dish out some punishment, see? This anger won’t lead to anything constructive, of course, but nobody who votes for the Trumps of this world thinks that far ahead or very much cares. Get your popcorn ready. It’s gonna be ugly.

„Die AfD könnte deutlich besser abschneiden als erwartet.“