So what do Germans do when their gas reserves are “unusually” low this winter because of the Russian cut-off of gas shipments through Ukraine? They do what anybody would do if they were in their position, and German. They give Vladimir Putin himself (some call him Gasputin, get it?) an 18-carat gold award entitled Saxony’s Order of Gratitude.

Surprisingly though, the award, a gold carving of St George on horseback, has stirred some hurt feelings here and there because, well, it was also issued in Dresden, the place where Putin spent five years as a Soviet secret police officer back in the 1980s. Gasputin, who personally ordered the stoppage of Russian gas supplies to Europe last week, could not be reached for comment because of he didn’t want to be.

Germany is Gazprom’s biggest customer by far, by the way, and, unlike most of the other countries of central and south-eastern Europe, it continues to receive Russian gas via pipelines in the north that do not go through Ukraine. So if you think about it, there really is a lot to be thankful for, I guess.

I don’t make this stuff up people. I swear I don’t.

The award is supposed to be conferred on outstanding individuals who engage courageously for the present and future of Saxony and Germany.