Germany Outraged Over Swiss Outrage About German Outrage

So that’s why Germany has indicted a Swiss citizen on suspicion of espionage for spying on German tax investigators.

Data

It’s complicated and goes like this: The German state government of North Rhine-Westphalia (SPD – at that time) decided to openly deal in stolen goods by purchasing, from a criminal who worked for a Swiss bank, a CD containing details on German clients of said Swiss bank. These Germans were dodging German taxes and this illegally acquired CD was then used to pursue numerous tax evasion cases in Germany.

The Swiss, outraged by this, had one of their spies try to obtain information on tax officials in North Rhine-Westphalia and wiggle his way into their system but he got caught doing so.

The Germans, outraged by this, have now indicted him for this outrageous activity and are outraged, as usual, that anyone could ever be outraged by any of the outrageous stuff Germans are always doing, which, in and of itself, is also an outrage. Like I said, complicated. Outrageously complicated.

Zunächst beschaffte er laut Bundesanwaltschaft persönliche Daten von drei nordrhein-westfälischen Steuerfahndern. Später platzierte er demnach eine Quelle in der nordrhein-westfälischen Finanzverwaltung.

And They Speak Such Funny Englisch, Too

“It drives me up the wall the way waiters in Berlin restaurants only speak English,” one popular German politician has recently been quoted as saying. In Berlin. In German.

English

And I couldn’t agree more. Although the German government may have made it compulsory for asylum seekers to learn German, this rule unfortunately does not apply to EU residents and others who have come here to live and work and, well, it’s understandable that some Germans are mad as hell about it and aren’t going to take it anymore.

The English these waiters speak, you see, is often done so by natives (UK folks, Canadians, Australians, even the occasional US-Amerikaner or two) and therefore practically impossible for most Germans to understand.

“Vat do they mean with ‘coming right up’ or ‘you bet?’ Vat does betting have to do wis my order? If zhey are going to speak zheir language here zhey should at least have the decency to do so properly, verdammt nochmal!”

Germans are too relaxed on the issue and that it would never happen in Paris.

50,000 (2015), 100,000 (2016), 200,000 (2017)…

Do you see a pattern here?

Courts

That’s the number of lawsuits filed by refugees in Germany who have been denied asylum here. Germany has increased the number of judges who decide these case to 2,000 but that still isn’t enough to deal with these numbers like these. Nor is a reduction in this work load anywhere in sight.

Nearly half of all asylum applicants rejected by Germany then take their cases before German courts. The BAMF refugee agency says 47 percent of its 119,000 negative decisions made so far this year went to appeal.

“Man kann sagen: Die Lage ist dramatisch. Es knarzt jetzt an allen Ecken und Enden.”

German Of The Day: Großzügig

That means generous. As in “Merkel’s Generous Refugee Policy Puts Germany at Risk.”

Merkel

On July 28, one person was murdered and another five were injured by an Islamist wielding a knife at a supermarket in Hamburg, Germany. The sad tale had an all-too-familiar ring to it for many Germans: The perpetrator should not have been in the country. His application for asylum had been rejected and he was awaiting deportation. This latest attack may lead the German government to revisit the wisdom of its immigration policy. But it is more likely that, having allowed in almost 2 million refugees since 2015, Chancellor Angela Merkel will simply double down. Merkel recently reaffirmed that, despite a string of Islamist plots perpetrated by recent arrivals into the country, Germany will put no limit on the number of refugees it is willing to accept. Her stance poses a serious threat to all of Europe. Such large numbers of newcomers quickly present huge societal challenges, not to mention serious security concerns. And no European nation is more endangered by this than Germany.

Messerattentäter Ahamd A. plante offenbar Lkw-Attentat.

The Mainstream Press Said No

The German literary establishment unanimously denounced it, too. It is a bad book. Bad book! It is a bad book of essays attacking said media/establishment – and the German government – for not taking citizens’ concerns about migrants seriously. Finis Germania has effectively been banned, in other words.

Book

This is not so terribly interesting, right? I agree. But what is interesting here is that the ban has turned Finis Germania into a bestseller. What does that tell us about what is really going on in Germany today? Down here were the little people live, I mean.

Don’t worry, though. This could never happen in your country, folks. Or could it?

Through its blind embrace of Angela Merkel’s open door to Middle Eastern migrants, the German media has lost the trust of a whole section of the German public. When the press calls something extreme, many no longer listen.

“What happens when the majority of Germans lose confidence and trust in mainstream leaders? Many of the Germans becoming disillusioned with mainstream politics and turning to these groups are not hardcore neo-Nazis. They don’t want to persecute the migrants or see them imprisoned, beaten up or killed. … They are concerned about Germany’s future. But Angela Merkel’s government refuses to give serious attention to these concerns and refuses to tell the truth about the impact the migrants are having and will have on the nation.”

Denn wer Antisemit ist, bestimmt der „Spiegel

Schulz Effect Now Tropical Depression Schulz

Only we’re not in the tropics here.

Schulz

And down, down, down they go. Germany’s Social Democrats (SPD) keep losing ground in the polls just weeks ahead of the country’s parliamentary election. They have now reached what they call the vor-Schulz-Tief or pre-Schulz-low before the legendary, if not mythical medial Schulz effect kicked in when he announced his candidacy. Well, at least he’s not an alien. Having the media on your side doesn’t always help, folks. Not here in Germany, either, I mean.

The Greens have seen better days themselves. Some of the Green rats have even begun jumping ship.

„Die spannende Entscheidung ist der Platz drei. Daran zeigt sich, welche Botschaft von der Bundestagswahl ausgeht. Für die Grünen sind alle, die ihre Meinungen nicht teilen, dumm, von gestern oder böse. Diese Überheblichkeit ist nicht nur nervtötend, sondern auch eine Gefahr für den Wohlstand, wenn Technologien zum Feindbild gemacht werden.“

 

Berlin Face Recognition Technology Severely Flawed

Immediately after launching their six-month test of automatic facial recognition technology at Berlin’s Südkreuz railway station, a number of the German authorities responsible have already expressed their bitter disappointment with the initial results.

Face

It seems that the face recognition software being used – programmed here in Berlin – is only capable of recognizing frowning faces and security officials involved with the project fear that the new system will not be able to recognize any cheerful, smiling terrorists who attempt to murder and maim us in the future.

“This is German software, after all,” grumbled one frowning security official, refusing to give his name for security reasons. “Now wipe that stupid grin off your face and leave me the hell alone.”

Heute ist es soweit: Die umstrittene Testphase zur Gesichtserkennung am Bahnhof Südkreuz beginnt. 300 Freiwillige haben sich gemeldet.

US-Amerika Breaking International Law Again

Or at least that is what German Minister for Economics Brigitte Zypries (SPD)  has to say about the planned sanctions against Russia, a country that would never even think about breaking international law. They just do it.

Zypries

The new bill would entail sanctions for German and European firms which cooperate with Russia, you see. And Germany is the most international nation there could ever, ever, ever be, hence the international law bit.

And like how could both houses of the US-Amerikan Congress pass such an awful thing, she wonders. Without our permission. That is totally undemocratic.

This could mean war or something, people. Germany’s international welfare is at stake.

“Of course we don’t want a trade war. But it is important the European Commission now looks into countermeasures.”

Maybe This Constance Guy Was Mentally Unstable, Too

You know, like that guy with the knife in Hamburg? The Hamburg guy who was supposed to have already been deported but couldn’t be because he didn’t have his proper paperwork yet? Germany is an orderly place, you know. You can enter the country without a passport but you can’t leave it without one.

Disco

What other explanation could there be here other than mental illness? This shooting couldn’t have a religious background because, well, it can’t have a religious background. Nor could it have anything to do with Germany’s refugee policy because, well, it can’t have anything to do with Germany’s refugee policy. And it couldn’t have anything to do with Angela Merkel because…

So it’s business as usual. Move on, volks. There’s nothing here for you to look at. Move along please.

“We must take into account that the jihadist ideology is used as reason or justification for acts that are perhaps committed for quite different motives.”

Only 41?

Germans waste 41 hours a year searching for parking.

Porsche

But then you have to add the 37 hours a year fighting with the other German over the parking space and the 23 hours a year you’ll spend trying to fit into the damned thing (parking spaces are narrow here, you see).

Frankfurt ranked as the worst city in Germany to find parking. On average, drivers in Frankfurt spend 65 hours a year searching for a space, costing them €1,410 each in wasted time, fuel and emissions and the city as a whole €702 million. Essen came second in the ranking (64 hours – €490m), followed by Berlin in third (62 hours – €1.8bn).

PS: At least owners of the Porsche Cayenne won’t be having that problem now anymore.