Trump is the devil incarnate and will usher in the end of the world as they know if elected (most Germans don’t believe in God or the devil but are willing to make an exception this time). Clinton, on the other hand, is more up their alley because she has the more politically correct kind of sex organ and is married to a former president of the United States thus making her much more qualified (female sex organs matter). She is also a Democrat and that rhymes with Social Democrat. And just like back home, nobody over here knows who Gary Johnson is, either.
So there we have it. But let’s move on tomorrow, people. One step after the other. No matter what.