Germans Think Renewed Storming Of Reichstag A Bad Idea

Disturbed about Moscow’s plans to have hordes of young Russians storm the German Reichstag, concerned politicians in Berlin wish to stress that this could led to a dangerous militarization of Russia’s youth.

Friends

“Friends just do not storm friends,” one top official said, also noting that a new attack upon the German capital would only contribute to a further deterioration of Russia’s relationship with Germany, a relationship that is growing increasingly estranged at the moment. Russian politicians could not be reached for comment as the Russian capital has been moved to a secret location due to fears of an imminent German youth attack.

“Oh, this Reichstag is in Russia somewhere?” another top official asked later, finally figuring out that this is all just a big game. “That’s pretty deplorable, too.”

The replica of Berlin’s historical Reichstag, which has housed the seat of Germany’s parliament since 1999, will be built in “Patriot Park” and be used by the Russian youth movement, called “Junarmija”  or “young army.”

The Man In The White Castle

Frightened by unsubstantiated fake news reports that US-Amerika‘s president has turned the place into an alternative history (alternative fact history?) horror-land run in part by their creepy grandparents, German vacationers are staying away in droves.

Castle

Almost half of Germans with an interest in traveling to the U.S. won’t do so now because they feel unwelcome or don’t want to endorse President Donald Trump.

About 46 percent of Germans who would like to visit the U.S. “in principle” have changed their views on that destination since Trump took office and won’t travel there as a result, according to a survey by GfK SE published in travel-industry magazine fvw.

What’s So Tricky About That?

“The trick is to try to create the sense that the people at the time don’t know what’s going to happen,” says Tykwer (director Tom Tykwer, Babylon Berlin). “No one in 1929 could have imagined what would become of Germany.”

Babylon

No offense, Tom, but no one at anytime can ever imagine what is about to happen. That’s the way of the world. But good luck with your TV series anyway.

Ordinary, Babylon Berlin certainly is not. Based on the series of novels by German writer Volker Kutscher, its a Raymond Chandler-style crime story — about a German detective, Gereon Rath (played by Volker Bruch) sent to Berlin to investigate a porn ring run by the Russian mafia — set against the social and political upheaval of Germany in 1929. when the world’s most modern and progressive society is threatened by rising right wing extremism and a world economy teetering on the brink.

“Babylon Berlin” wird die teuerste deutsche TV-Serie. Sie startet im Oktober auf Sky, ein Jahr später in der ARD. In Clärchens Ballhaus wurde nun ein erster Clip gezeigt.

Nero Was The Guy In The Matrix, Right?

More cool Spiegel stuff, folks.

Trump

Trump as Nero: Europe Must Defend Itself Against A Dangerous President.

It is literally painful to write this sentence, but the president of the United States is a pathological liar. The president of the U.S. is a racist (it also hurts to write this). He is attempting a coup from the top; he wants to establish an illiberal democracy, or worse; he wants to undermine the balance of power. He fired an acting attorney general who held a differing opinion from his own and accused her of “betrayal.” This is the vocabulary used by Nero, the emperor and destroyer of Rome. It is the way tyrants think.

I feel your pain, buddy. It literally hurts me to read this about how it literally hurts you to write this. Let’s both of us stop all this hurting, literally, and move on already. Please.

Enjoy Your Super Bowl Commercials Responsibly

“In this polarized world, it could easily upset half the country and be seen as political and stepping into something they don’t want to get into.

Der Spot sorgt trotzdem für Aufregung. Viele sehen in ihm einen direkten Angriff auf die Migrationspolitik von US-Präsident Donald Trump.

Next Misleading Berlin Wall Comparison Just In!

This happens regularly, of course. The cool thing about this particular one is that it comes from the mayor of Berlin himself.

Berlin Wall

Michael Müller (SPD), apparently not all too familiar with the history of his own city, has implied through a message he sent to President Trump on Friday that the wall he is planning to build on Mexico’s border is somehow comparable to the infamous one that divided Berlin for decades. “Divisive?” Certainly. Most walls are divisive, as far as I know. Otherwise they wouldn’t call them walls.

But what Müller and others bend over backwards to ignore here is that the one in Berlin was built to keep people “in.” You know, like a prison wall? The planned Trump wall, however, is being built to keep people “out.”

Now I understand that I am being an annoying stickler for details here but one really ought to consider this from time to time. Before the next misleading comparison comes over the wires, I mean. Because you’ll be hearing them regularly, like I say.

“Berlin — the city which stands for the separation of Europe as well as the freedom of Europe — cannot watch silently as another country plans to build a wall,”

German Of The Day: Böller, Pfannkuchen, Pfefferspray

Silvester (New Year’s Eve) preparations are in full swing here in Germany, folks. So for any of you who might be enjoying the New Year’s Eve celebrations here tomorrow please keep these German words in mind.

Mace

Böller are firecrackers, usually big honking firecrackers, that Germans love blowing up for hours and hours and hours and hours on end, preferably blowing off a finger or two in the process. This is an ancient Germanic tradition that goes back to the Roman era. In Germania, Tacitus tells us, the Germanen often flipped off Roman soldiers during New Year’s Eve celebrations but, being drunk, were easily captured and then got their Stinkefinger cut off as punishment. After the Romans left new ways of removing fingers had to be developed.

Pfannkuchen or Berliner Pfannkuchen or just Berliner are pancakes, eaten in massive amounts around midnight. This tradition goes back to the 1950s when a Berlin housewife messed up an American doughnut recipe by forgetting to add the hole and putting way too much jam filling inside instead.

Pfefferspray is pepper spray or mace and is a new tradition that began shortly after last year’s Silvester celebrations, introduced in Cologne by another Kulturkreis (cultural circle), origins unknown.

In Sicherheit feiern – Mit Pfefferspray durch die Silvesternacht?

Germany Has Spoken

Trump is the devil incarnate and will usher in the end of the world as they know if elected (most Germans don’t believe in God or the devil but are willing to make an exception this time). Clinton, on the other hand, is more up their alley because she has the more politically correct kind of sex organ and is married to a former president of the United States thus making her much more qualified (female sex organs matter). She is also a Democrat and that rhymes with Social Democrat. And just like back home, nobody over here knows who Gary Johnson is, either.

So there we have it. But let’s move on tomorrow, people. One step after the other. No matter what.

Halloween Approaching Fast

Now that all the clown costumes for Halloween in Germany appear to be sold out, maybe German U-boat commander costumes might do the trick.

Sub

According to the old tale, the U-boat commander — Capt. Gunther Krech — said the submarine had been cruising on the surface of the water to recharge its batteries when a “strange beast” rose from the sea with “large eyes, set in a horny sort of skull.” Krech said the animal had a small head, but with “teeth that could be seen glistening in the moonlight,” according to a statement from Scottish Energy News. Scottish Power crews discovered the wreckage when surveying the seabed to lay a new power cable.

Pardon me, ma’am. Do you have any sea monster suits in my size?

Hitler Face A Real Hit

Everybody is talking about it or something. It only comes out at night. And Halloween is still a full month away.

Hitler

The huge Hitler face triggered a police call out after a stunned motorist was among dozens to ring in to say: ‘I have seen a gigantic Hitler projected on to a building at Leipziger Platz.’

It turned out the beaming dictator was projected on to the wall as part of the Berlin Light art festival which draws two million visitors from around the world, and Hitler forms part of the programme.  

Am Leipziger Platz leuchtet ihnen ein übergroßer Adolf Hitler entgegen. Er rollt die Augen und lacht dabei irre.