I predict that there will be more dire predictions next year too

Astrologists and other doomsayers aren’t what they used to be. No, wait a minute. Nonsense. Why of course they are.

And the Gesellschaft zur wissenschaftlichen Untersuchung von Parawissenschaften (The Skeptics) has proven it yet again. Of the 140 predictions put out there for 2009 by some 50 well-known psychic, clairvoyant types, none of them were right. None of them except the one from the guy who predicted that Boris Becker would get married again, I mean. And that was a tough one, right?

Natural disasters had a bad year too, despite all the dire predictions. But there will be a more detailed analysis on why that was from the Clairvoyants of Copenhagen later on this week, I’m sure. Or maybe not. But still.

“Vorhersagen-Klassiker seien auch Naturkatastrophen, wie beispielsweise Stürme in der Karibik.”

We’d rather help build up a new police state

No pressure here, time or otherwise. Before not committing any new troops to Afghanistan, Germany wants to take all the time it needs to say no more thoroughly and convincingly and much, much later (around February or so). And why not take your time? They’re in the best of company here.

As German Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle put it: “President Obama held a very important speech. He also took his time to work out the speech and his strategy and we will take our own time to assess what he said and discuss this with our allies.”

In other words, “no”, like I said. Westerwelle did indicate that Germany is prepared to increase police trainers in Afghanistan, however. That German police training in Afghanistan has been a catastrophe up until now is another question altogether, but still.

“We Germans are ready to do more in the area of police training, because that is the only route to self-sufficient security, to a handover of responsibilities.”

Political movement or new national pastime?

October 29, 2009 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Vandalism Leave a comment

Well, maybe it’s both. Some 250 cars have been set to flames in Berlin this year by political activists concerned about CO2 emissions (not enough of them out there, I guess – the emissions, I mean).

Hamburg environmental anarchist types, not to be outdone by those snoots down south, have lit up about 150 themselves. They are clearly doing their best these days to close their incredibility gap to Berlin as quickly as they can.

And now even Frankfurt has joined the party, or one activist there has. Pissed off about having to pay high gasoline prices all the time, this guy lit his own damned car on fire.

“Der schwarze 3er BMW mit Baujahr 1995 brannte am Freitagmorgen in einer Grünanlage nahe des Frankfurter Messegeländes komplett aus.”

Please make him go away

October 22, 2009 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Racism 3 Comments

In his latest Black Like Me gig, “Schwarz auf Weiß” (black on white, get it?), investigative reporter type Günter Wallraff is highlighting rampant racism in Germany, again. And again and again and again. And again.

Only this time even anti-racist groups seem to have grown tired of his not all so shocking and certainly not so originally provoked instances of discrimination here. Some are even daring to call his techniques treacherous.

Wer hat Angst vorm schwarzen Mann – in blackface?

Öko-Romantik pur

October 18, 2009 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Greenpeace Leave a comment

It’s time for more environmental romanticism again or something. Damn. This is turning into a new Volkssport over here. When not climbing the Reichsstag or other tall buildings in single bounds, Greenpeace activists in Berlin feel compelled to climb victory columns (there aren’t that many here either), the very place where another great Romantic once held a very romantic speech, back then, a few months ago, when everybody was still, uh, romantic. Before the election, I mean.

It’s an unhealthy mix between alpine climbing and messiah complex. Or a healthy one depending upon who you ask. A typical German one (see the Gnome post below)? Unfortunately not.

„In Kopenhagen 2009 Geschichte schreiben, Frau Merkel: Klima retten!“

How green is Berlin?

October 16, 2009 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Green 3 Comments

Why Berlin is so green that the brothels here offer eco-discounts to customers who can prove that they came, I mean arrived, on a bike.

Or on public transportation (yuk). Now that’s green.

“The environment is on everyone’s lips around here.”

No alternative?

October 13, 2009 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Alternative Nobel Prize 1 Comment

Alternative Nobel Prize award watchers everywhere were shocked to learn today that contrary to expectations, President Barrack Obama will not be receiving this year’s honored honor.

The annual award, issued right after the official Nobel Peace Prize gets awarded to Obama (most likely every year now too, by the way), is given “for outstanding vision and work on behalf of our planet and its people” so like why the hell didn’t he get it, huh? Maybe because it’s “The Right” Livelihood Award or something.

I’m starting to think that this European peace prize giving industry selection process stuff is rigged.

Der Alternative Nobelpreis wird zum 30. Mal verliehen. Er unterstützt diejenigen, die “praktische Antworten” auf die drängendsten Herausforderungen der Gegenwart geben.

Westerwelle will during appearances further German speak

October 5, 2009 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: English 1 Comment

His refusal, a British reporter in English to answer, brought Guido Westerwelle much malice in.

So will he never foreign minister be, predicted then his critics. But the FDP boss will during official functions continue German to speak and precisely this apparently Westerwelle likable makes.

I could more agree not.

“Endlich sagt es mal einer.”

Sinister American computer games everywhere you look

September 25, 2009 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Violent games 1 Comment

Quentin Tarantino movies are still okay though because he’s not, well, a gamer and these are movies and, uh, he’s cultured or something.

“Counter-strike was developed by the US Army in order to reduce the violence threshold of soldiers.”

“That games like these lead to violence is obvious to me, despite the debatable scientific evidence.”

“Dass solche Killerspele die Hemmschwelle gegen Gewalt herabsetzen, ist für mich eindeutig, auch wenn wissenschaftliche Belege hierfür noch umstritten sind.”