Nein, nein and nein again!

And I’ll hold my breath until my face turns blue if you don’t believe me. Geez. This is almost like the good-old Gerhard Schroeder days – saying no before anybody asks anything of you – and that’s even with you-know-who now in office (what’s-his-name is long gone, remember?).

That Germany won’t ever really deploy real troops in a real war in a real country called Afghanistan is certainly no secret to anyone anywhere, least of all the Taliban, but that Germany’s new Foreign Minister is prepared to puff and pout and not even attend the upcoming Afghanistan conference in London should it “degrade” to a pure troop deployment conference, well, that’s kind of special (not).

As predicted, Germany has dragged its feet this past month in the face of calls from President Obama to help with a push to defeat the Taliban with more combat troops, holding off from any decision regarding troop numbers until after the London talks. Now it seems the Germans have reached a new phase: They are now even prepared to hold off on taking part on any talks before holding off on making a decision which, as all the world can clearly see, has been made long ago; nein. Or no, if you prefer.

“Mit seinem Nein zu einer deutlichen Aufstockung des Bundeswehrkontingentes steht Westerwelle ja beileibe nicht alleine. Diese Position ist auch den USA längst bekannt. Aber durch die versuchte Vorfestlegung eines Konferenzverlaufs, den Deutschland nur partiell beeinflussen kann, isoliert der Minister sich und die ganze Bundesregierung innerhalb des Bündnisses. Das ist einfach dumm.”

I predict that there will be more dire predictions next year too

Astrologists and other doomsayers aren’t what they used to be. No, wait a minute. Nonsense. Why of course they are.

And the Gesellschaft zur wissenschaftlichen Untersuchung von Parawissenschaften (The Skeptics) has proven it yet again. Of the 140 predictions put out there for 2009 by some 50 well-known psychic, clairvoyant types, none of them were right. None of them except the one from the guy who predicted that Boris Becker would get married again, I mean. And that was a tough one, right?

Natural disasters had a bad year too, despite all the dire predictions. But there will be a more detailed analysis on why that was from the Clairvoyants of Copenhagen later on this week, I’m sure. Or maybe not. But still.

“Vorhersagen-Klassiker seien auch Naturkatastrophen, wie beispielsweise Stürme in der Karibik.”

We’d rather help build up a new police state

No pressure here, time or otherwise. Before not committing any new troops to Afghanistan, Germany wants to take all the time it needs to say no more thoroughly and convincingly and much, much later (around February or so). And why not take your time? They’re in the best of company here.

As German Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle put it: “President Obama held a very important speech. He also took his time to work out the speech and his strategy and we will take our own time to assess what he said and discuss this with our allies.” 

In other words, “no”, like I said. Westerwelle did indicate that Germany is prepared to increase police trainers in Afghanistan, however. That German police training in Afghanistan has been a catastrophe up until now is another question altogether, but still.

“We Germans are ready to do more in the area of police training, because that is the only route to self-sufficient security, to a handover of responsibilities.”

Political movement or new national pastime?

Well, maybe it’s both. Some 250 cars have been set to flames in Berlin this year by political activists concerned about CO2 emissions (not enough of them out there, I guess – the emissions, I mean).

This car really burns up the road.

Hamburg environmental anarchist types, not to be outdone by those snoots down south, have lit up about 150 themselves. They are clearly doing their best these days to close their incredibility gap to Berlin as quickly as they can.

And now even Frankfurt has joined the party, or one activist there has. Pissed off about having to pay high gasoline prices all the time, this guy lit his own damned car on fire.

“Der schwarze 3er BMW mit Baujahr 1995 brannte am Freitagmorgen in einer Grünanlage nahe des Frankfurter Messegeländes komplett aus.”

Please make him go away

In his latest Black Like Me gig, “Schwarz auf Weiß” (black on white, get it?), investigative reporter type Günter Wallraff is highlighting rampant racism in Germany, again. And again and again and again. And again.

That's Günter Wallraff, wirklich.

Only this time even anti-racist groups seem to have grown tired of his not all so shocking and certainly not so originally provoked instances of discrimination here. Some are even daring to call his techniques treacherous.

Wer hat Angst vorm schwarzen Mann – in blackface?

Öko-Romantik pur

It’s time for more environmental romanticism again or something. Damn. This is turning into a new Volkssport over here. When not climbing the Reichsstag or other tall buildings in single bounds, Greenpeace activists in Berlin feel compelled to climb victory columns (there aren’t that many here either), the very place where another great Romantic once held a very romantic speech, back then, a few months ago, when everybody was still, uh, romantic. Before the election, I mean.

It’s an unhealthy mix between alpine climbing and messiah complex. Or a healthy one depending upon who you ask. A typical German one (see the Gnome post below)? Unfortunately not.

„In Kopenhagen 2009 Geschichte schreiben, Frau Merkel: Klima retten!“

No alternative?

Alternative Nobel Prize award watchers everywhere were shocked to learn today that contrary to expectations, President Barrack Obama will not be receiving this year’s honored honor.

No Alternative here.

The annual award, issued right after the official Nobel Peace Prize gets awarded to Obama (most likely every year now too, by the way), is given “for outstanding vision and work on behalf of our planet and its people” so like why the hell didn’t he get it, huh? Maybe because it’s “The Right” Livelihood Award or something.

I’m starting to think that this European peace prize giving industry selection process stuff is rigged.

Der Alternative Nobelpreis wird zum 30. Mal verliehen. Er unterstützt diejenigen, die “praktische Antworten” auf die drängendsten Herausforderungen der Gegenwart geben.