Damn. They just unleashed these guys and they’ve already hacked into the Interior Minister’s website? He’s a data security kind of guy, get it?
I told you so. I just knew that the Germans were going to be good at this cyber warfare stuff. It looks like it’s time to change your password, Herr Minister.
„Ein Hacker hat den Internetauftritt des CDU-Politikers geentert und dort Werbung gemacht: für mehr Datenschutz und gegen die von Schäuble befürwortete Vorratsdatenspeicherung.“
This real war stuff is like so von gestern (yesterday). That’s why the Germans want to move on and do cyber warfare instead. You can cut costs that way, in a big way (except when it comes to your real weapons sales) and the Americans won’t always be moaning at you to finally start shooting at somebody because you already are, sort of. Well you are virtually, I suppose, and that’s close enough for the Bundeswehr.
Recent cyber attacks from friendly nations like China have alarmed the German Government, you see, and that’s why the Bundeswehr is forming this new cyber warfare unit whose 76 members will singlehandedly protect the nation from future attacks of this nature while simultaneously learning how to take down enemy countries at the same time, cyberneticly speaking.
Why do I get the distinct feeling that the Germans are going to be really good at this type of thing? I’m telling you, it’s going to be just like the Chaos Computer Club all over again, only this time in uniform. But the uniforms won’t fit very well because of the regulation pizza they’ll have to eat.
„Bei der im Aufbau befindlichen Abteilung Informations- und Computernetzwerkoperationen arbeiten derzeit schon 76 Mitarbeiter.“
If they want to, I mean.
They just don’t (this was the Funkturm Frohnau to the north of Berlin, the Telekom doesn’t need it anymore).
„Schade, ein Wahrzeichen ist weg. Aber sentimental wie beim Abschied vom Flughafen Tempelhof werde ich nicht.“
It’s time to roll up those sleeves, Germany. Your dream team Vice President Joe Biden himself has now made it official (in Munich of all places): He (as in Obama as in we as in US-Amerika) now expect you and all your other EU brothers out there to now, right now, begin shouldering heavier burdens, from fighting international terror to fighting economic instability at home and abroad.
Oh yes you can (we always knew you could), especially now that Biden said this in the “new tone” you have all been clamoring for all these long years, hallelujah, amen. And this wonderful new tone (and message?) not only echoes serenely through European air and media waves in ever-broadening circles of Realpolitik revelation, infecting all listening to it with enthusiasm and conviction (just think, you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren that you were there when the new American tone started ringing), it appears to be quite a contagious one, to boot.
NATO boss Jaap de Hoop Scheffer, for instance, a well-known European himself, took Joe’s queue and is now pressing European allies to finally step up the commitment to the war against the Taliban in Afghanistan. He’s saying that the Obama government has already taken care of one of Europe’s biggest complaints by closing Guantanamo, Saints be praised, so now it’s time for Europe to reciprocate.
“When the United States asks for a serious partner,” he said in Munich. “It does not just want advice. It wants and deserves someone to share the heavy lifting.”
What wonderful words, don’t you think? Yes, that’s music in my ears, too, my European friends. It’s so uplifting to know that the change that came to America overnight some eighteen days ago has now reached the shores of your continent, too. Heaven knows you deserve it. A little change, I mean.
So like I said before, roll up those sleeves Germany, and start practicing that heavy lifting. I’m sure the first flight of fresh German combat troops will be flying off to Kabul by early next week. Or late next week at the latest, right?
“Amerika wird mehr tun, aber Amerika erwartet auch mehr von seinen Partnern.”
Nope, they can’t. But they can punish you for something that is wrong. I think we’re on the same sheet of music here, Specialist Schepherd.
When you went AWOL here in Germany in April 2007 to avoid “an illigal conflict” in Iraq you walked smack dab into the middle of an illegal conflict of your own. And now Germany, despite all the peacenik rhetoric and national obsession with war legality (but only when it comes to wars they have no intention of taking part in = Afghanistan is legal, just barely), will have to go through the long and drawn out motions of pretending they might grant you, a United States citizen, political asylum. You know, like they used to do in the good old days over there on the wild side, in the GDR?
Hate to tell you, but the Germans won’t be able to help you. They’re going to let you down on this one. Germans are prepared to moan and groan along with you all you want, but when it comes to doing something like setting an extreme precedent and getting all tangled up in sticky legal and political implications by granting such an absurd request, it just ain’t gonna happen. The time’s just not right, you see (Bush bad, Obama good = no make problems just right yet).
So enjoy your stay in jolly old Germany as long as you can. I’d say you’ve got a good six months, at least.
He said he didn’t want to return to an illegal conflict.
In a feeble attempt to copy then not-quite-yet-President Obama’s speech at Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate, Germany’s Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier, currently campaigning in the US to become the next Chancellor of Germany, will not be allowed to hold an election rally at the Washington Monument.
Of all people, his colleague US Secretary (she hates that word) of State Hillary Clinton had to break it to Steinmeier that his idea was like totally peinlich (embarassing) and completely brain-dead already.
Not only would such an election rally be highly inappropriate in a foreign country if it isn’t Obama speaking in Germany, the secretary said, but not a soul would give a damn or bother to show up, either. “I mean, it’s not like anybody over here even knows who or what the hell you are or anything, Frank,” Hillary added. “Nothing personal.”
His English not being the best, Steinmeier took this to mean yes and said, beaming “I am pleased that Germany is now one of Washington‘s preferred partners again.”
„Der Besuch des Bundesaußenministers habe einen Neuanfang der deutsch-amerikanischen Beziehungen markiert.“
I think Bruce said it best, even if it was “drama” back then. Or maybe drama is the more appropriate word here doch (after all).
Oh Brother. Non-combat troops not taking part in any, uh, combat and the latest spin is that the Bundeswehr guys stationed in Afghanistan can’t handle the strain of it all anymore and are post-traumatized from all the, well, road building and school building and making friends and having to be “the good guys” all the time. And that’s why they’re dropping from PTBS like flies these days. PTBS is a new German sickness that has to do with post-traumatic strain or something. I guess it’s just too much of a strain to hang around the post all day, and that can be very traumatic.
Take this guy here. I don’t wish a suicide bomb attack on anybody, honestly, and he got through this without any physical injury, miraculously, thankfully, and more power to you. But what then? In Germany that means early retirement time with 45. No wonder Berlin refuses to send any troops to actually fight anywhere. They’d go broke in three weeks.
And speaking of Berlin, the timing of this new PTBS craze strikes me a bit funny (ha, ha, they had a show about it on ZDF the other night and it’s in all the papers today). Foreign Minister Steinmeier is visiting Hillary C. herself in Washington as you read this. If a change to Germany’s Afghanistan policy ever gets brought up, the President has threatened to do so in the past, Steinmeier can always point to this new development, I guess. Germany’s at the breaking point now, you see.
„Deutsche Soldaten mit Kriegstraumatisierung. Ihre Zahl wächst rasant.“
Constraints, what constraints? We love constraints! And what’s a monopoly, between friends? Germans love board games of all kinds, you know, and they’ll play monopoly with anybody, as long as he or she’s a Russian, I guess.
So whatcha gonna do? Achieving full energy independence isn’t an option for Germany and, being that the Germans won’t go nuclear or burn more coal (neither options are allowed for some strange reason) they’re going to have to be happy with their gas dependency on Russia (it’s around 40% at the moment).
And that’s why Angela Merkel, like that guy before her, believes that it’s good that the planned Nord Stream gas pipeline will bypass “veto players” like Poland and supply Germany directly with gas. It’s better for Europe that way, or something. Schroeder’s “unprecedented mixing of political and private commercial interests” was an awful, dreadful and despicable thing, Angie will tell you, but we’ll take that Russian gas all the same, no strings, I mean constraints, attached.
“The Nord Stream pipeline project was initially agreed to in late 2005 by then-Russian President Putin and former Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, who signed the deal during his last days in office.”
We just want to keep all you mainstream ignorant folks in the party. Left Party point man Gregor Gysi is mad as hell and isn’t going to take it anymore. The SED (German communist) replacement party in Neues Deutschland, the Left Party, is sick and tired of being hassled within their own ranks by ungrateful comrades mostly from that yet pretty-much-uncharted “western” part of the nation and is now ready to start throwing their sorry non-conformed Hinternteile (back parts) out.
It seems that the Left Party is a big noise now, or at least they want to come over that way, and the times when you could turn a tolerant blind eye to the wackiest of left-wing ideas has now ended or is about to or might, maybe. They couldn’t come down and clean up on the usual loonies too hard too fast at first, you see, otherwise people might think that they were the SED (German communist) replacement party in Neues Deutschland. Which they are, of course, but actually aren’t, uh, if you get my drift.
It appears that certain unstable members from THE WEST have of late been calling for unusual things like asking constituents not to vote for their own party out of protest against something not, well, wacky enough. Which really isn’t all that unusual in Germany, if you stop and think about it. The SPD does it all the time, for instance (more power to ya, Wolfgang Clement). But, on the other hand, if you take a good look at the SPD these days, I can definitely see where Gysi is coming from. I mean, it’s not like he’s crazy or anything.
„Wer der Fraktion bewusst schaden will, der gehört nicht in die Partei.”
Observing Hermann 