Organic Cucumber Phase-Out Recommended

As if Switzerland’s announcement of a plan to follow Germany down the path toward a nuclear phase-out had not been shocking enough (other nervous European countries are now most certainly to follow), the alarming outbreak of enterohemorrhagic Escherichia coli (EHEC) in Germany traced to organic cucumbers grown in Spain has led to wide-spread calls for an organic cumumber phase-out as well.

“We now know that organic cucumbers are more deadly than Fukushima,” said one highly concerned Brussels bureaucrat. “This incident has opened our eyes to the total helplessness of organic cucumber operators, I mean growers, everywhere. We Europeans can no longer deny that an accident of this magnitude is indeed possible so it only stands to reason that the only way to deal with a crisis like this is to stop eating organic cucumbers altogether.”

PS: Thanks for the Hinweis, Ole Phat Stu.


5 responses

  1. Looks like those gurks fell off a truck in Hamburg. Well, it might just as well have happened in Berlin; same effect.
    German soil is deeply infected with all sorts of Übel.

  2. Total Recall

    As they took the tomatoes from the shelf,
    I kept their secret for myself.

    As they took the gurks from the shelf,
    I said warten, with a mouth full of braten.

    When they came to take me away,
    I had the “Revenge of Montezuma” today,
    later on, I told the doctor not to sway,
    for I always hated veggie-stuff anyway.

  3. E Coli will not put you in that happy place…. Why can’t they all just go back to putting anti-freeze in their Vino and lighten up?

  4. Now Swedes are equally panicked – due to (wait for it) Swedes who might have ingested cukes while on holiday in Deutschland!

    Now they’re all jerkin’ their gurkin.

  5. The toll:

    EHEC-dead 21.
    1526 people infected.
    100 EHEC- and HUS-cases outside of Germany, each confirmed to have been in northern part of country.

    Where are all the greens (bio) protestors now, who imploded on Fukushima radiation? Nature has won again, German angst will dominate again.

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