German Of The Day: Gegendert

That means gendered. You know, as in language-wise?

Gender

In Berlin, for instance, male words used on public forms and applications can be very disturbing. At least that’s what SPD politicians here think. So that is why they are seeing to it that more female vocabulary will be introduced in the future. I don’t know quite what that means (the ones with die instead of der or das?) but I’m sure they must know what they are doing, right?

“Only using male words gives the impression that the form only applies to the male population and this is not the case.”

Damn. Why didn’t anybody ever think of this before? No wonder I could never figure out how to fill out my maternity leave application.

„Nur männliche Wörter zu verwenden, erweckt den Anschein, als betreffe der Antrag nur die männliche Bevölkerung. Das stimmt aber nicht.“

PS: What will they think of next? Sending men and women to different bathrooms?

Berlinale Has Numbing Effect On Audiences This Year, Too

It numbs them with its politics. And its smugness. Intentionally so. Every year. And if you don’t have the “correct” kind of politics and smugness, it will numb you all the more.

Numb

The opening night of the Berlinale was all about politics, from the red carpet, where Green Party politician and Bundestag vice president Claudia Roth sported a black dress adorned with the word “Unpresidented” in large letters – an apparent dig at U.S. President Donald Trump’s spelling aptitude and/or his perceived behavior as commander-in-chief – to officials and speakers taking the stage to talk about free speech, free art and resistance to oppression.

“It’s kind of an antidote to massive budget films with millions of special effects and stuff, which in the end creates a kind of numbing effect: I want more, I want more, I want more.”

What’s So Tricky About That?

“The trick is to try to create the sense that the people at the time don’t know what’s going to happen,” says Tykwer (director Tom Tykwer, Babylon Berlin). “No one in 1929 could have imagined what would become of Germany.”

Babylon

No offense, Tom, but no one at anytime can ever imagine what is about to happen. That’s the way of the world. But good luck with your TV series anyway.

Ordinary, Babylon Berlin certainly is not. Based on the series of novels by German writer Volker Kutscher, its a Raymond Chandler-style crime story — about a German detective, Gereon Rath (played by Volker Bruch) sent to Berlin to investigate a porn ring run by the Russian mafia — set against the social and political upheaval of Germany in 1929. when the world’s most modern and progressive society is threatened by rising right wing extremism and a world economy teetering on the brink.

“Babylon Berlin” wird die teuerste deutsche TV-Serie. Sie startet im Oktober auf Sky, ein Jahr später in der ARD. In Clärchens Ballhaus wurde nun ein erster Clip gezeigt.

Next Misleading Berlin Wall Comparison Just In!

This happens regularly, of course. The cool thing about this particular one is that it comes from the mayor of Berlin himself.

Berlin Wall

Michael Müller (SPD), apparently not all too familiar with the history of his own city, has implied through a message he sent to President Trump on Friday that the wall he is planning to build on Mexico’s border is somehow comparable to the infamous one that divided Berlin for decades. “Divisive?” Certainly. Most walls are divisive, as far as I know. Otherwise they wouldn’t call them walls.

But what Müller and others bend over backwards to ignore here is that the one in Berlin was built to keep people “in.” You know, like a prison wall? The planned Trump wall, however, is being built to keep people “out.”

Now I understand that I am being an annoying stickler for details here but one really ought to consider this from time to time. Before the next misleading comparison comes over the wires, I mean. Because you’ll be hearing them regularly, like I say.

“Berlin — the city which stands for the separation of Europe as well as the freedom of Europe — cannot watch silently as another country plans to build a wall,”

Designated Loser (SPD) Magnanimously Makes Room For Next Designated Loser (SPD)

The current head of the SPD, Sigmar Gabriel, has decided not to run as SPD candidate for chancellor in next September’s Merkelection, magnanimously allowing the all-knowing and immensely more annoying Martin Schulz to lose in his stead instead.

SPD

Schulz, commissar refugee from Brussels currently seeking asylum in Germany, could not be reached for comment but this does not really matter because he never freakin’ stops talking anyway.

Das Porträt zeigt einen Politiker, der “nach einem halben Jahr Nachdenken, Zweifeln, Ringen, nach Fahrplanänderungen und Freundschaftskrisen” endlich mit sich im Reinen ist.

This Man Is Not A Terrorist

It’s the woman standing next to him. Hardy, har, har.

Terrorist

Anas Modamani, who migrated to Germany from Syria, told the BBC that a photo he took with German leader Angela Merkel has been used in various reports claiming he was involved in several different terrorist attacks, which spread around Facebook.

Modamani hired a lawyer to file an injunction against the Menlo Park-based social network alleging the company failed to remove racist posts, in violation of German hate speech laws. The legal action comes as Facebook faces mounting pressure to do something about the proliferation of fake news on the social network.

Er wäre ein Paradebeispiel für gelungene Integration. Doch nach einem Selfie mit der Kanzlerin wird Anas Modamani immer wieder als Terrorist verunglimpft. Die Geschichte eines 19-Jährigen, der jetzt genug hat.

Another Year Closes

But Berlin’s “new” airport doors won’t. So that’s why the grand opening will have to be put off again for another year.

Doors

For now, I mean. Hey, when one door closes another one opens. And when when one door doesn’t close… Whatever.

Statt 80 Prozent Ende 2016 sind de facto nur 20 Prozent in Ordnung. Ein ordnungsgemäßes Funktionieren der Türen ist jedoch insbesondere für die fehlerfreie Entrauchung wichtig.

PS: You just wait, Hamburg. You’re going to have to.

My German Is More Dumber Than Your German Is

It’s 99 cent blowout ebook sale time again! Like how outrageous is that?

Dumb

Dumb Deutsch: Absurd German Language Errors (auch für deutsche Leser geeignet)

Also available at iTunes, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble, etc. For a limited time only or something.*

“Very funny book, relating dumb things people say while trying out their high school German. Laughing so hard at my normally quiet workplace I had tears in my eyes, my boss walked by and asked if I was OK. Oh yeah! She has a great sense of humor with an eye toward languages. Buy this book and laugh yourself silly!”

Kilgore Trout

* I’d give this ebook away for free but then you wouldn’t read it and that would be irresponsible so I won’t.

Arresting One Of The Fourteen Would Have Been Enough

Why did German authorities fail to stop Anis Amri, Spiegel asks? Like, duh. Because they can. And boy oh boy can they ever.

Amri

I mean, what didn’t go wrong here? Now it’s come out that this guy was known to German authorities under fourteen different identities long before the attack in Berlin took place. Nothing suspicious there, right? That’s why nothing was undertaken, I guess. Now people are asking why but they already know why because that’s why German authorities are there. To do nothing. Except get reprimanded for using bad words. That’s why. Inspires confidence, doesn’t it?

Aus einem Bericht des NRW-Landeskriminaldirektors Dieter Schürmann vor dem Ausschuss ging hevor, dass Amri den deutschen Behörden unter insgesamt 14 verschiedenen Identitäten bekannt war.

Next Delay For Berlin Airport Opening Postponed Until 2018

German newspapers are reporting that the latest delay announcement expected for the opening of Berlin’s troubled old new airport will now push the currently planned postponement back until the spring of 2018.

Airport

Disappointed Berliners had been hoping that the next delay announcement could have come as late as the spring of 2017 but this will now have to be moved forward as a new round of cost overruns and construction errors have caused yet another delay for that next planned delay.

Rumor has it that the Berlin Brandenburg Klaus Wowereit International Airport had originally been set to open in 2011 but no one can be located who can verify this with any certainty anymore.

The official announcement for the delay of the delay has been postponed until next year.

“Mir ist keine Entscheidung zwischen Weihnachten und Neujahr bekannt.”