German Of The Day: Mohr

That means Moor. As in Moor wacky BLM bullshit.

Mohr

Moors were “the Muslim inhabitants of the Maghreb, the Iberian Peninsula, Sicily, and Malta during the Middle Ages. The Moors initially were the indigenous Maghrebine Berbers. The name was later also applied to Arabs.”

They were also black. You know, dark-skinned people? Or at least that is what the word Mohr is associated with in German. This, of course, has now led to a great big giant world-shaking problem in Berlin. Yawn.

What’s in a name? Berlin wrestles with past in metro station row – Transit authority to rename slavery-linked Mohrenstrasse after AN ANTISEMITIC RUSSIAN COMPOSER.

Get it? Me neither.

Some historians dispute the street name’s origins and argue the word Mohr is merely old-fashioned rather than derogatory.

Clothes Pins May Also Be Introduced

If you can’t figure out how to wear your face masks properly.

Masks

Berlin hopes especially pungent body odor will force people to wear masks – If the risk of contracting the coronavirus isn’t enough to make you wear a mask properly, then someone else’s pungent body odor will surely suffice.

Public transportation officials in Berlin issued a cheeky recommendation for riders last week to stop wearing deodorant, and let their natural odors waft through the shared air, so others can have their masks fully cover their mouths and noses.

“Given that so many people think they can wear their masks under their noses, we’re getting tough.”

German Of The Day: Auftragsmord

That means a contract killing.

Auftragsmord

Germany Says Russian Officials Ordered Berlin Park Killing – Germany’s top prosecutor said Russian officials ordered the killing of a political opponent in a Berlin city park last summer, escalating tensions between the two countries.

“State entities within the central government of the Russian Federation gave the order to the accused to liquidate.”

Brand New Cutting-Edge German Anti-Racism Technology Introduced

As reported earlier, racism is suddenly and inexplicably a really, really big problem in Germany. Out of the blue like, so-to-speak. No one can figure out how this happened or why this is so but everyone is telling each other it is so so it must be so.

Unteilbar

To combat this burning German social issue, inventive German social scientists have come up with a brand new anti-racism technology they refer to as the Menschenkette. It is in essence a “human chain” that is designed, we non-social scientist types must assume, to keep racism from “spreading” any further. You know, kind of like the Corona face masks that used to keep the virus from spreading further but apparently don’t work anymore because none of the people in the Menschenkette are wearing them?

Please pass this on to my fellow citizens in US-Amerika immediately! An innovation like this might just end racism over night.

“Unteilbar”-Demonstration: Menschenkette quer durch Berlin.

Your Flight From 2012 Is Now Ready For Boarding

What do you mean? Berlin’s party joke phantom airport may be opening after all?

Airport

Too bad I didn’t keep our plane tickets from 2012 as souvenirs. They showed us departing from Los Angeles (LAX) and arriving at Berlin Brandenburg Airport (BER), which was just about to open. But the launch, already delayed the previous year, was again called off at the last minute. So we landed instead at the charming but small Tegel airport (TXL) that dates back to the early Cold War…

To pessimists, BER symbolizes Germany’s bad developments. Its highly publicized bureaucratic and engineering fiascoes have dented the country’s former reputation — not always entirely flattering — of being relentlessly meticulous and punctual. The subtext is that Germany, whether it’s building airports or algorithms, is increasingly leaving economic dynamism to others, especially China.

To optimists, this too is part of Germany’s long historical arc to “normality.” Germans today are more relaxed about their national identity and place in the world than they’ve ever been. That explains why they’ve also been nonchalant about BER’s travails. The truth is, many Germans have secretly been savoring the airport headlines as a font of gossip. Many an awkward dinner party has been saved by boozy debates about whether humans would set foot on Mars before disembarking at BER, or whether it would be more cost-effective to rebuild the capital near a working airport.

The Natives Are Getting Restless

Germans, of all people, are slowly but surely losing patience with rules, regulations and restrictions – of the Coronavirus lockdown kind, I mean.

Demo

Demonstrations are now taking place throughout the country in which demonstrators are openly expressing their frustration with the false information and mixed signals coming from the politicians and medical experts who continue to curtail their fundamental rights. In other words, there ain’t gonna be a second lockdown, people.

3000 statt 80 Teilnehmer – Demo gegen Corona-Regeln. Die Demonstranten warfen der Politik und Medizinern vor, im Zusammenhang mit der Corona-Pandemie Panik zu verbreiten und die Grundrechte der Menschen zu beschneiden.

Official Holiday In Berlin – “What Are We Celebrating On May 8?”

Officially, it’s the 75th anniversary of the city’s “liberation” (Befreiung) as World War II ended. They couldn’t call it “Boy Did We Ever Get Our Ass Kicked Day,” I suppose.

Liberation

Or  maybe you could say it’s a day to commemorate the biggest daylight savings time reset ever. It’s when all the clocks in Germany were set to “zero hour.”

May 8, 1945, was ‘zero hour’ for Germany in multiple ways – Adolf Hitler was merely ash among the rubble when World War II ended in Europe. The desolate aftermath was dubbed “zero hour” by Germans — a more prescient term than they realized, for it also paved the way to rebirth.

Feiertag in Berlin – Was feiern wir am 8. Mai?

Attack On Journalists Already Long Forgotten

No self-righteous outrage here. The attackers who did the attacking were the wrong kind of attackers to attack.

Attack

They were leftist extremists and not right-wing extremists – as one is expected to expect here. And that’s harmless or cute or something. Germans in general and German media in particular are “blind in the left eye,” as the saying goes. This isn’t supposed to happen. So it doesn’t.

Authorities confirmed on Saturday that they are investigating the political motives behind an attack on the camera team of popular German satirical news show the heute-show [Today Show].

While filming on May Day, several members of the crew were attacked while filming in Berlin. Four members of the team sustained injuries severe enough to be sent to hospital. Five men and one woman were arrested.

We’ve Always Been Socially Distant

Wanting social chaos, anarchy and revolution the way we do. But this year we were particularly good, sort of, by showing an extra portion of social distancing. Not.

Riots

Don’t you just hate it when rioters get “unreasonable” like that?

Hundreds take part in social-distanced May Day protest in Berlin – Protesters defied a ban on gatherings of more than 20 people to mark May Day.

„Natürlich sind mehrere hundert bis mehrere tausend Menschen auf den Straßen unvernünftig gewesen. Das muss man sagen.”

Germans Lousy Cooks Too

“We’ve known for years that cooking competence has drastically declined in Germany,” somebody told some news agency somewhere. “But sheesh. These losers can’t cook diddly-squat. I’ve never cooked diddly-squat myself either. But still.”

Cooks

Coronavirus pandemic reveals Germans’ poor cooking skills – Germans reliance on fast food and pre-cooked meals has left them with limited culinary skills when they need them most, a food industry group said. But Germans are flocking to supermarkets and rediscovering cookbooks.

“Now people stand in supermarkets and ask themselves, ‘OK how do I make a burger myself?'”