This Man Is Not A Terrorist

It’s the woman standing next to him. Hardy, har, har.

Terrorist

Anas Modamani, who migrated to Germany from Syria, told the BBC that a photo he took with German leader Angela Merkel has been used in various reports claiming he was involved in several different terrorist attacks, which spread around Facebook.

Modamani hired a lawyer to file an injunction against the Menlo Park-based social network alleging the company failed to remove racist posts, in violation of German hate speech laws. The legal action comes as Facebook faces mounting pressure to do something about the proliferation of fake news on the social network.

Er wäre ein Paradebeispiel für gelungene Integration. Doch nach einem Selfie mit der Kanzlerin wird Anas Modamani immer wieder als Terrorist verunglimpft. Die Geschichte eines 19-Jährigen, der jetzt genug hat.

Another Year Closes

But Berlin’s “new” airport doors won’t. So that’s why the grand opening will have to be put off again for another year.

Doors

For now, I mean. Hey, when one door closes another one opens. And when when one door doesn’t close… Whatever.

Statt 80 Prozent Ende 2016 sind de facto nur 20 Prozent in Ordnung. Ein ordnungsgemäßes Funktionieren der Türen ist jedoch insbesondere für die fehlerfreie Entrauchung wichtig.

PS: You just wait, Hamburg. You’re going to have to.

Germans Disturbed That Racial Profiling Actually Worked

But not all too much, it seems.

Profiling
I mean, who ought those police checks on New Year’s Eve in Cologne have been directed toward? Blonde Scandanavian retirees? Something tells me that would have been less effective than the emphasis they placed on Nafris.

A YouGov poll released on Thursday found that the majority of Germans said racial profiling was not problematic, amid criticism of police checks on New Year’s Eve in Cologne. Sixty-three percent of Germans in the YouGov poll said they did not find racial profiling generally problematic.

Mehrheit der Deutschen hält Racial Profiling für unproblematisch, US-Amerikaner denken anders

Spectacular!

The new Elbphilharmonie!!

Elbphilharmonie

Instead of costing the planned 77 million euros it ended up costing Hamburg 800 million instead!!!

Breathtaking or something. Enjoy your status while you can, Hamburg. Just wait until the final cost for Berlin’s airport gets determined. If it ever does, I mean. We will CRUSH you!

Die Hansestädter sind froh, dass das Ding endlich fertig ist. Der Bau sollte 77 Millionen Euro kosten, am Ende waren es fast 800 Millionen.

German Bad Word Of The Year 2016: Volksverräter

That means traitor, or traitor of the people. And it’s actually a non-word or un-word of the year, not just a bad word of the year. Although it’s all three, I guess.

Traitor

And if you look carefully at that photo you will see the feminine form of that word. Just in case you were wondering.

Each year, German linguists elect one word as the ‘Unwort’ (non-word) of the year. For 2016, the winner was a term meaning ‘traitor’ which has strong Nazi connotations.

Das Wort sei ein “Erbe von Diktaturen“, sagte sie. In der Begründung der Jury heißt es, Anhänger von Pegida, AfD und ähnlichen Initiativen würden den Begriff als Vorwurf gegenüber Politikern verwenden. Er sei undifferenziert und diffamierend und würde “das ernsthafte Gespräch und damit die für Demokratie notwendigen Diskussionen in der Gesellschaft” abwürgen.

I’ll Fill Your Prescription For You, Baby

The German Green party is not wacky or comprised of „weltfremde Spinner“ (unrealistic weirdos). Honest. Or at least that’s what they’ve been telling us for years and years.

Sex

But every once in a while something short-circuits and they get all atavistic on us and pull something where you realize that they are totally coo coo for cocoa puffs after all. The latest: A German Lawmaker Wants the State to Pay for Prostitutes for the Elderly – The Green Party lawmaker says she can imagine authorities “financing sexual assistance.”

Damn. This could give elder abuse a whole new meaning.

Tübingens Grüner Oberbürgermeister kritisiert den Vorstoß, Sexdienste für Pflegebedürftige finanzieren zu wollen. Die Grünen setzten sich wieder einmal dem Vorwurf aus, „weltfremde Spinner“ zu sein.

Arresting One Of The Fourteen Would Have Been Enough

Why did German authorities fail to stop Anis Amri, Spiegel asks? Like, duh. Because they can. And boy oh boy can they ever.

Amri

I mean, what didn’t go wrong here? Now it’s come out that this guy was known to German authorities under fourteen different identities long before the attack in Berlin took place. Nothing suspicious there, right? That’s why nothing was undertaken, I guess. Now people are asking why but they already know why because that’s why German authorities are there. To do nothing. Except get reprimanded for using bad words. That’s why. Inspires confidence, doesn’t it?

Aus einem Bericht des NRW-Landeskriminaldirektors Dieter Schürmann vor dem Ausschuss ging hevor, dass Amri den deutschen Behörden unter insgesamt 14 verschiedenen Identitäten bekannt war.

German Of The Day: Mogelpackung

That means deceptive packaging. And it’s not just in politics either, folks.

Deception

Lots of products get packaged deceptively over here, too. Take these chips, for instance. You get 25 grams less product for the same not-all-that-low price!

Can’t wait to see who wins “Mogelpackung 2016.” The competition never sleeps.

Zu dieser Wahl ruft die Verbraucherzentrale Hamburg auf, die das ganze Jahr über Beispiele für versteckte Preiserhöhungen gesammelt hat. Das Prinzip ist stets das gleiche: In einer Packung ist weniger drin, aber der Preis bleibt unverändert.

One For All And All For One

Or twenty-six to one, if you prefer.

Deutschland

Figures released Tuesday by the EU statistics office, Eurostat, show that around 420,000 asylum requests were processed in Germany in the first nine months of 2016 – more than in all other 27 EU countries combined.

Those are just the ones that have been processed, by the way. They’re kind of behind at the moment for some reason.

And always remember the essence of German policy-making: The last thing that Germany ever wants to do at any time ever like as in absolutely never is to go a Sonderweg (separate path).

In Deutschland sind in den ersten drei Quartalen 2016 einem Bericht zufolge mehr Asylanträge gestellt und bearbeitet worden als in den übrigen 27 EU-Staaten zusammen.

German Of The Day: Nafris

That’s short for North African men.

Nafris

And the police in Cologne “did good” on New Year’s Eve by aggressively questioning, detaining and expelling the roughly thousand (1000) North African men who came to Cologne’s central station to try to raise hell with German women again, just like they had done the previous year (Why are these multiple offenders still in Germany, you ask? Practically everybody else in Germany is asking themselves that same question these days, too.).

But the police in Cologne “did bad” by using the word Nafris, German Green women tell us. Because, well, that’s short for North African men.

Get it? Me, neither.

Am HBF werden derzeit mehrere Hundert Nafris überprüft. Infos folgen.