The Mighty German Bundeswehr Is Threatening Russia

With tanks that don’t roll, aircraft that don’t fly, ships that don’t sail and broomsticks instead of guns.

The Bundeswehr couldn’t threaten its way out of a paper bag, Vlad. But tanks for the backhanded compliment anyway.

Putin says Russia faces German tanks, just like at Stalingrad, but hints that this time Moscow has nukes – Russian President Vladimir Putin on Thursday leveled another veiled nuclear threat in relation to the war in Ukraine as he ripped into Germany for providing battle tanks to Kyiv, while comparing Russia’s unprovoked invasion of its next-door neighbor to the Soviet Union’s fight against the Nazis during World War II.

German Of The Day: Hybrid Identities

That means… The hell if I know.

Other than maybe meaning German citizenship will soon be selling like heiße Kuchen (hotcakes). Of course, it could also mean “lets let our own German identity roll over and die.”

Hybrid identities’: why Germany is updating its citizenship rules – The draft law would allow people to apply for citizenship after just five years of residence in Germany, rather than eight years currently. It also states that: “Those who have made a particular effort to integrate — such as becoming proficient in German, doing voluntary work or performing well in school — can apply after three years.”

“The idea that you have only one homeland is completely outdated.”

German Of The Day: Rezessionsängste

That means recession fears.

German economy unexpectedly shrinks in Q4, reviving spectre of recession – The German economy unexpectedly shrank in the fourth quarter, data showed on Monday, a sign that Europe’s largest economy may be entering a much-predicted recession, though likely a shallower one than originally feared.

Gross domestic product decreased 0.2% quarter on quarter in adjusted terms, the federal statistics office said. A Reuters poll of analysts had forecast the economy would stagnate.

German Of The Day: Eskalation

That means escalation.

Remember this decision when we look back from the future (I’m an optimist).

US and Germany ready to send tanks to Ukraine – After months of reluctance, the US and Germany reportedly plan to send tanks to Ukraine, in what Kyiv hopes will be a game-changer on the battlefield.

US President Joe Biden’s administration is expected to announce plans to send at least 30 M1 Abrams tanks.

German Chancellor Olaf Scholz has also reportedly decided to send at least 14 Leopard 2 tanks. He is set to speak in parliament on Wednesday morning.

Exploding Fireworks Louder Than German Army Ammunition

If the Bundeswehr had any, that is.

German defense minister lambasted over NYE Ukraine message – German media has mocked a “tone-deaf” video put out by Defense Minister Christine Lambrecht. She was slammed for discussing the war in Ukraine as people set off fireworks.

“The speech about the war with New Year’s Eve firecrackers in the background only crowns her series of embarrassments.”

Blowing Off Fingers And Hands Now Safe Again

Now that the COVID pandemic is finally over.

Germany: New Year’s Eve fireworks for sale again after ban – People in Germany will be allowed to legally purchase fireworks to celebrate New Year’s Eve. They had been banned for the past two years to avoid injuries that could overburden hospitals during the COVID pandemic.

German Of The Day: Maulwurf

That means mole.

German politicians hail capture of suspected Russian ‘mole’ – The capture of an alleged Russian spy in Germany’s intelligence agencies has been called a “wake-up call” by politicians who are concerned by the threat of hybrid warfare.

“The fact that there are Russian espionage activities in Germany is well known and hardly surprising. But if now even in the ranks of the BND an employee is said to have spied for Russia, then this would be a completely new and frightening quality. Of course, this also raises the question of the effectiveness of the BND’s own security.”

German State Media Want Their Own “Insurrection” So Bad

They can taste it. And they’re perfectly willing to make theirs even more ridiculous than that first way cool media construct in evil US-Amerika.

Admittedly, a hard thing to do but I wouldn’t putsch it past them. Enjoy, folks. Very entertaining. I coup watch them all day.

The bizarre far-right coup attempt in Germany, explained by an expert – Understanding the Reichsbürger, a QAnon-influenced radical movement that just tried to make a minor noble the new king of Germany.

German Of The Day: Nervenzusammenbruch

That means nervous breakdown. Having them is a favorite German pastime. These days especially.

Germans on the verge of a nervous breakdown – It’s a sign of the nation’s fraught state of mind that many seriously believe this week’s unlikely plotters could have toppled democracy.

Early Wednesday, thousands of balaclava-clad German police officers fanned out across the country, arresting 25 people and seizing weapons to upend what authorities described as a diabolical plot to overthrow the country’s government and reinstate the monarchy. The group’s “military arm” was surreptitiously building “a new German army,” the lead prosecutor on the case said.

A day later, however, the case looks more like the script of a Monty Python episode than a sequel to the Day of the Jackal…

Al Qaeda it was not.