Category Archives: Hysteria

Write This Down

October 19, 2017 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hype, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Let’s do some science and write this down.

Insects

New study suggests insect populations have declined by 75% over 3 decades…

A new scientific study has found “dramatic” and “alarming” declines in insect populations in areas in Germany, which researchers say could have far-reaching consequences for the world’s crop production and natural ecosystems.

The science will consist of getting back to me in a year or two, maybe three, if we’re all still around, that is, and reminding me to check into the current numbers about the status of this dramatic decline. You know, just to see how dramatic the dramatic decline was after all? This clearly has the ozone hole, acid rain, Waldsterben (dying forests), BSE (mad cow disease), bird flu, SARS, Elektrosmog (mobile phone radiation), killer bee invasion, drowning polar bears, Ebola pandemic, creepy clowns, chemtrails, creepy clown chemtrails, C02, C02, C02 and Area freakin’ 51 written all over it. If you know what I mean. And you do.

“There’s no reason to think this isn’t happening everywhere.”

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Right-Wing Leftie? Left-Wing Rightie?

October 18, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Let’s call the whole thing off.

Sahra

Here is another tough, emancipated woman in action. Left party crazy Sahra Wagenknecht just heuled (cried) her way through her latest power struggle to stay on top – of her party, of course (they wanted to calm her down a bit because she was going too far right and starting to sound like regular folks on the street – with regard to refugees, for instance).

But how did she do it? By pouting and getting all teary-eyed and hysterical and howling about being mobbed and threatening to resign and leave the party if she didn’t get her way. Wow. I never saw a woman pull that one before. How refreshing. Somebody has to be a trend setter, I guess.

Kipping legt gegen Wagenknecht nach: “Souverän geht anders.”

 

German Of The Day: Diese Fahrt Endet Hier

October 16, 2017 By in Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

That means this drive or line (as in bus line) terminates here.

Fahrt

Of course a foreign, English-speaking  person like yourself might think that it means “this fart ends here.” You know, like the buck stops here only it’s a fart? That would be incorrect, however. So don’t think that.

Over the past 18 months, a crime scandal has been rocking Berlin. It’s one that so far has required the work of 23 officials, necessitated a court appearance, and, this week, provoked protests from a politician on the floor of Berlin’s Senate. It’s the unusual nature of the crime that has provoked such controversy and upset. It wasn’t an act of violence against a person, a case of damage to property, or of fraud. It was, in fact, a fart.

Pups kostet Steuerzahler knapp 87 Euro.

German Of The Day: Angst

September 8, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

That means angst. And here is the latest German angst check:

Angst

Terrorism wins again. But does it really? German Angstforscher (angst scientists – how could they be anywhere else but in Germany, right?) point out that terrorism, for example, is a socially accepted angst that everybody can openly get all angst-like about, without getting any angst about getting any extra angst on top of that. The real close up and personal kinds of individual angst, however, that’s a different matter. People don’t like to talk about that kind of angst because they have too much angst to do so. I have angst, for instance, that these angst studies are creating more angst about angst than they need to. And that frightens me.

“Man weiß, dass es sich bei der Terror-Angst um eine sozial akzeptierte Angst handelt. Die Leute berichten doch nicht gerne einem Menschen in einer Telefonumfrage über ihre ganz individuellen Ängste, die sie sonst allenfalls mit den engsten Freunden und Familienangehörigen teilen.”

More Balanced Jounalism

August 24, 2017 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hype, Hypochondria, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

By unbalanced German journalists.

Stern

First of all, that is not Lady Diana.

Secondly, it’s against the law to destroy an American flag by putting a big hole like that in the stars part or wherever it is so somebody call the cops already.

And thirdly, I’m no longer in third grade. Although sometimes, when browsing through the covers of German mainstream magazines, I wax nostalgic. Personally, I believe that many sides are to blame for this violence. The violence just done to my intellect, I mean.

Ein “stern”-Cover sorgt für Diskussionen. Zu sehen ist der US-Präsident in Nazi-Pose. Auch der Zentralrat der Juden findet das “geschmacklos.”

Martin Schulz Also To Demand End Of Cold War

August 23, 2017 By in Habitudes, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, History, Humor, Hype, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Once he’s elected and has demanded that US-Amerika remove it’s nuclear armaments from German soil. All two or three of them (they’ve already kind of sort of been removed already, see?).

Schulz

It’s a brave move, as always, but the SPD’s Martin Schulz is known for taking those hard stands. It’s always about principle when it comes to the SPD.

Then, after ending the nuclear arms race and Cold War, he will demand that Germany’s invasion of Poland be nullified, Hitler’s rise to power cancelled and World War 1 be put off indefinetely. If that doesn’t get the vote this guy needs, nothing will.

“Trump wants nuclear armament. We are against this.”

German Of The Day: Heimaturlaub

August 18, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

That means home leave. And boy oh boy is Germany ever sticking to its guns on this one. When it comes to being super-mega-ultra strict about paying for asylum seekers’ vacation trips back home, that is.

Vacation

As German Integrationsbeauftragte (integration commissioner) Aydan Özoguz (SPD) explains, Germany doesn’t foot the bill for just any asylum seeker. They have to be Ausnahmefällen (exceptional cases) before the German tax payer will be asked to send them on an all expenses paid flight back home – and back again.

Someone’s mother dying would be such an exceptional case, for instance. Anybody’s mother (it doesn’t have to be your own). Or maybe your ex-neighbor’s dog is suffering for an ingrown toenail. Or maybe you forgot to bring your favorite bowling ball with you when you were on the run and now you have the urgent need to go pick it up. For integration purposes, of course. You know, exceptional cases like that.

I’m not making this up, people. Not all of it anyway.

“Es kann gewichtige Gründe geben, warum ein anerkannter Flüchtling für kurze Zeit in seine Heimat reisen will.”

We’re Not Putin You On

August 17, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Hideology, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

A new survey indicates that the vast majority of Germans hold Russia’s Vladimir Putin to be more trustworthy than US-Amerika’s Donald Trump.

Putin

In fairness to Donald Trump, however, these Germans also found Venezuela’s Nicolás Maduro, Syria’s Bashar al-Assad and North Korea’s Kim Jong-un more trustworthy, too. Or so I assume.

Please note: These are people who even find Germany’s Angela Merkel more trustworthy. For crying out loud already.

The disparity in favor of Putin over Trump was most stark in Greece and Germany, where he outscored the US president by 31 and 14 points, respectively. In Germany, around a quarter of respondents said they had confidence in Putin, while only 11 percent said the same of Trump.

And They Speak Such Funny Englisch, Too

August 15, 2017 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

“It drives me up the wall the way waiters in Berlin restaurants only speak English,” one popular German politician has recently been quoted as saying. In Berlin. In German.

English

And I couldn’t agree more. Although the German government may have made it compulsory for asylum seekers to learn German, this rule unfortunately does not apply to EU residents and others who have come here to live and work and, well, it’s understandable that some Germans are mad as hell about it and aren’t going to take it anymore.

The English these waiters speak, you see, is often done so by natives (UK folks, Canadians, Australians, even the occasional US-Amerikaner or two) and therefore practically impossible for most Germans to understand.

“Vat do they mean with ‘coming right up’ or ‘you bet?’ Vat does betting have to do wis my order? If zhey are going to speak zheir language here zhey should at least have the decency to do so properly, verdammt nochmal!”

Germans are too relaxed on the issue and that it would never happen in Paris.

US-Amerikan Gas Conspiracy In Full Swing

August 3, 2017 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

German survey time – and no Russian influence here, either. Honest: BASF-owned Wintershall, one of Gazprom’s closest upstream partners and backer of its Nord Stream 2 project, has published results of a survey which it says indicate that most Germans not only oppose an expansion of US sanctions against Russia but also prefer Russian gas to US LNG.

LNG

More than three-quarters (77 percent) believe that the US is attempting to bolster its own economic interests in the European natural gas market… The survey also showed that the vast majority of Germans (83 percent) reject the planned increase in US economic sanctions, which would also restrict the actives of German and European companies. Only seven percent considered criticism of planned US sanctions as exaggerated.

“Whereas half the Germans surveyed support a further diversification of the natural gas provision, only six percent want more imports of US LNG,”