“Germany’s Smart, Simple Formula for Fighting Its Coronavirus Spike”

Isn’t working. And won’t work (in the mid- to long term). Their smart, simple formula last March (the big lockdown) didn’t work either.

Covid

But none of your readers are interested in that. You’ve trained them well.

When it’s come to fighting the coronavirus crisis, Germany has been a model among Western nations. Under Chancellor Angela Merkel’s leadership, the country’s swift and organized initial response to the pandemic kept deaths low and quickly pushed case rates down to a controllable level. Its successes have in many ways stood as the starkest contrast to America’s scattered, disastrous response—proof that a large democracy with a federal form of government could, in fact, get a handle on the disease.

But…

PS: Always remember that everything before “but” was a lie.

If Only The United States Could Do Everything Right Too

Remember: Corona only spikes in the United States because, well, we do everything wrong.

Light

Not so in ze Europe. Take Germany, for example. They’ve done everything right so far (face masks, social distancing, strict restrictions, etc). The Germans even did a big lockdown already, just a few months back. And now, because the first lockdown worked so well and was so much fun, I guess, Germany is going to lockdown again. Only this time they refer to it as a “lockdown light.” Light as in restaurants, bars, hotels, gyms etc. will no longer have any guests and professional sports events will be held without spectators. And everybody stays home, of course. Sound vaguely familiar? It should. It is. But maybe this light lockdown will be more effective than that heavy one they did first. It’s all a question of having a positive attitude. Something Germans are world famous for.

Germany to go into circuit-break lockdown as coronavirus surges – Germany will impose an emergency month-long lockdown that includes the closure of restaurants, gyms and theatres to reverse a spike in coronavirus cases that risks overwhelming hospitals, Chancellor Angela Merkel said on Wednesday.

 

German Of The Day: Gastro-Lockdown

That means gastro lockdown. You know, as in gastronomy lockdown?

Gastro

It’s coming to Germany. Wow, and this in a country that has Corona under control (if you watch American mainstream media news). Angela “we can do it” Merkel will be announcing today and making sure that – take a deep breath now – restaurants, bars, clubs discotheques, pubs, as well as theaters, opera houses, concert houses, whore houses, casinos, amusement parks, film theaters, sport clubs, betting shops, swimming pools and gyms will be closed down for a bit. For our own protection. Not necessarily for the people who work there or own them, of course, but still. It’s a start. And what a whore house and some of the others there have to do with gastronomy I’ll leave up to you.

Otherwise though, everything else can remain open. For now.

Unter anderem sollen Gastronomiebetriebe sowie Bars, Clubs, Diskotheken, Kneipen und ähnliche Einrichtungen geschlossen bleiben. Gleiches soll für Theater, Opern, Konzerthäuser, Messen, Kinos, Freizeitparks, Spielhallen, Spielbanken, Wettannahmestellen, Bordelle, Freizeit- und Amateursportbetrieb, Schwimm- und Spaßbäder und Fitnessstudios gelten.

If Only The United States Could Get Covid Under Control Like The Europeans Have

Not, I mean. Take Germany, for example. Please.

Covid

Despite doing everything right (just ask the government, they’ll tell you they have) Angela Merkel is now considering a “lockdown light.”

Global report: Merkel says Germany faces ‘difficult months ahead’ in Covid fight – Chancellor says country is on verge of losing control as Europe death toll passes 250k.

“We are seeing very, very high positivity rates and an increasing lack of capacity to do any effective form of contact tracing, which is going to further drive the disease into darkness.”

Good Practice Makes Perfect

Not. Keep those face masks on while watching the numbers climb, Germany.

Germany

14,000 new Covid19 infections a day, and climbing.

Germany grapples with coronavirus spike months after it was hailed for good practice.

After being lauded for its response to Covid-19 after Chancellor Angela Merkel’s government flattened the curve this spring, Germany is now grappling with more than 10,000 daily coronavirus infections, the most it has seen since the outbreak started, and admissions to hospital intensive care units have doubled in the last two weeks.

“There are already speeches being held praising the German success, but it is not quite clear where it came from.”

Here’s What Happens When You Do Everything Right

Corona-wise, I mean (around 12,000 new infections a day now in Germany these days – highest rate here yet). You know, face masks, social distancing and all that?

Toilet Paper

Germans Are Panic Buying Toilet Paper And Disinfectants As Covid-19 Surges Again – Unlike the April lockdown, where massive hoarding led to empty store shelves, German retailers claim that they are better prepared this time.

“After the events we saw earlier this year, we are monitoring changes in demand more closely than ever to ensure that nothing is in short supply.”

“Work Again?”

Is this German humor? In a British tabloid?

Germany

“Will Germany’s effective Covid strategy work again as it enters a second wave?” It didn’t work the first time, folks (they’re up to 7,000+ new infections a day now, and climbing). Even though the Germans, as Klassenbeste (best in class), did everything right. Right? Face masks, social distancing, etc.

It could almost make one think that these face masks don’t help.

“The first wave taught us that if politicians and scientists work together, they have more chance of beating this virus.”

But Everybody’s Wearing Masks Here Already

And the masks work, right? So why does the number of COVID-19 infections in Germany keep rising?

Masks

Coronavirus in Germany: Angela Merkel urges people to stay home ‘whenever possible’ – Angela Merkel has called for solidarity as Germany enters a “very serious phase” of the pandemic. Germany has again set a new daily case record, as ministers call for thousands of additional contact tracers.

“The comparatively relaxed summer is over; now we are facing difficult months. How winter will be, how our Christmas will be, will be decided in the coming days and weeks.”

 

German Of The Day: Weiblich

That means feminine. You know, like the German language?

Weiblich

Well, not quite yet.

Germany’s Interior Ministry has objected to draft legislation drawn up by the Justice Ministry that uses the feminine form for every reference to people. It argued on Monday that the result likely would be unconstitutional. In German, linguistic convention has long called for the masculine form of a word to be used as the default when referring to people of either sex, such as in legislation.

In der Bundespressekonferenz ergänzte ein Sprecher des Innenministeriums, die Formulierungen des Gesetzentwurfs hätten “bei formaler Betrachtung zur Folge, dass das Gesetz gegebenenfalls nur für Frauen oder Menschen weiblichen Geschlechts gilt und damit höchstwahrscheinlich verfassungswidrig wäre.”

Flatliners

Coronavirus mortality rates: Germans continue to keep not dropping like flies.

Flatliners

They forgot to add the panic level here though. It’s also still as flat as ever. At a much higher level, of course, but still.

Coronavirus digest: Germany mulls restrictions on traveling, partying – Chancellor Angela Merkel’s aide has called for restrictions on social gatherings and travel to deal with the rising number of COVID-19 cases. Germany has reported a surge in daily infections…

While the number of cases and deaths in Germany is lower than in many neighboring countries, the country has been reporting more than 4,000 daily cases since Thursday, the highest since April.