Ig Noble Deeds That Are Concealed Are Most Esteemed

Perhaps the best-known awardee Thursday night was German car manufacturer Volkswagen, which was handed the Ig Nobel for chemistry, “for solving the problem of excessive automobile pollution emissions by automatically, electromechanically producing fewer emissions whenever the cars are being tested.” No one from the company attended the ceremony to collect the prize, however.

VW

Wer den Schaden hat … VW hat für seine Schummel-Software, die zum Dieselgate geführt hat, von der Harvard-Uni einen Anti-Nobelpreis bekommen.

Plain Talk II?

As Chancellor Merkel stated in yesterday’s post: Migrants without the right to stay (in Germany) should be sent back with determination.

Migrants

Then it’s time for Merkel’s determination nation to get that determination up and running, I guess: Some 550,000 migrants in Germany who have had their asylum requests rejected have still not been deported, according to parliamentary figures cited by a local media outlet.

In Deutschland leben nach Angaben der Bundesregierung fast 550.000 abgelehnte Asylbewerber.

Plain Talk?

In Germany? When it comes to the refugee crisis here? I’m sure you mean well but you’re clearly on another wavelength than the Germans.

Merkel

In Germany, in particular, there is a sense that the authorities have lost control and that established political parties cannot think or talk plainly about the problem…

Only now does Angela Merkel concede that she made mistakes when admitting a million refugees last year. It was obvious to most people in Europe at the time that her warm-hearted gesture would lead to catastrophic results. In declaring that all Syrian refugees would be welcome if they made it to Germany, she doubled the fortunes of the human trafficking industry. The asylum seekers came from Syria and North Africa through Austria and Hungary, having landed on the shores of Italy and Greece. Thousands died on the way.

Angela Merkel: Migranten ohne Bleiberecht sollen entschlossen zurückgeschickt werden.

Losing Isn’t Everything II

Talk about a sore loser. One day after the Pirate “bring in the clowns” Party finally gets tossed out of the Berlin Senat for good, one clearly unbalanced Pirate politician poster boy electrocutes himself in his apartment in Berlin Steglitz (otherwise not exactly the most electrifying district in Berlin).

Pirat

It gets even better, though (or worse, depending upon how you look at it). Word is now out that it looks as though he abused and murdered some other dude in his apartment before abusing and murdering himself.

And if that wasn’t shocking enough (shocking, get it?), Berlin’s SPD mayor Michael something or other, after getting reelected – sort of, the SPD having received during Sunday’s election the lowest percentage of votes ever for a “winning” government-forming party in Germany – well, this guy bans the press spokesman lady he just can’t get along with one of the most dreaded, cruel and unusual punishments known in all of Germany itself: Early retirement. The shocking part here? She’s 37. In Social Democracy anything is possible.

Berlin is kind of a wacko place, by the way.

Losing Isn’t Everything

It’s the only thing. If you belong to Angela Merkel’s CDU party these days, that is.

Merkel

But don’t worry. The brainiest ones over at the CDU are putting their heads together at this very moment to figure out were these electoral loses at these recent regional elections are coming from. They’ll figure it out before all too long, I’m sure.

Chancellor Angela Merkel’s party was dealt another blow in a regional election, posting its worst result in Berlin since the end of World War II as the anti-immigration Alternative for Germany extended its challenge to the political establishment by siphoning off voters.

The Social Democrats, Merkel’s junior coalition partner in the national government, won the election for the capital’s state assembly and the chancellor’s Christian Democratic Union finished second. Yet their combined voter share declined by about a quarter, leaving the “grand coalition” of the two biggest parties without a majority to run Germany’s biggest city.

“Sehr bitter.”

TTIP Demonstrators Refuse To Let Their Rotten Mood Be Ruined By The Rotten Weather

Fearing that German goods bound for US-Amerika could soon be subjected to lower tariffs, less red tape and a much wider base of consumers to purchase them, tens of thousands of German anti-TTIP demonstrators have taken to the streets to loudly voice their concerns in an hysterical love-fest of classic anti-American blather.

TTIP

Unfortunately, the demonstrators seemed to have dropped the ball when it comes to rabid outbursts directed against the smaller version of TTIP with Canada called CETA. But this is most likely because Canada (another moral superpower like Germany) is bekanntlich (generally known to be) not US-Amerika so that deal is OK or something and will therefore be signed in October.

EU Trade Commissioner Cecilia Malmstrom told Saturday’s Bild daily she was aghast at the “misunderstandings, urban myths and outright lies in the debate” on the merits or otherwise of the treaty.

German Of The Day: Deutschsein

That means being German.

Deutschsein

And surprisingly, despite all the constant self-chastisement that Germans love to indulge in, the majority of Germans surveyed still feel positive about that. About being German, I mean.

And the latest survey also says: The favorite EU country of 47 percent of Germans asked is… Germany. Way back at second place is Italy with seven percent. Spain comes in third at six percent.

“Ich denke an dichte Fenster! Kein anderes Land kann so dichte und so schöne Fenster bauen.”

Latest Imperial Decree In The Pipeline

Much like the repeated (and ignored) calls for “contingents” of refugees to be fairly distributed across the rest of EU Europe, the Empress of Europe (or at the very least of Germany) has now called on German industry to do more about hiring more refugees right here in Germany itself.

Merkel

“Sheesh. We’ve already hired over a hundred (that’s one one and two zeros),” one irritable spokesman for German blue-chip companies lamented. “From the million or two that came into the country last year that’s, well, a pretty good start. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. Nor destroyed in a day, for that matter. An empress ought to know this kind of stuff.”

“Given that around 80 percent of asylum seekers are not highly qualified and may not yet have a high level of German proficiency, we have primarily offered jobs that do not require technical skills or a considerable amount of interaction in German.”

Plans Already Well Underway For Next Year’s Last Place Eurovision Showing

For Germany, I mean.

ESC

German producer Stefan Raab has already developed a so-called Vorentscheid or preliminary decision show to let German Eurovision fans experience up close and personal and far in advance just which German act will fall flat on its face in 2017.

A jury of representatives from the German music business has already been selected that will in turn select one unlucky winner to represent the Federal Republic during the international TV song competition as it is systematically shamed, disgraced and humiliated for the third year running at least.

Versteht nur Stefan Raab den ESC?

At Least These Guys Don’t Go On Vacation At Taxpayers’ Expense

Three suspected ISIS operatives arrested at German refugee shelters

ISIS
The prosecutor’s office said investigations so far suggested the men, aged between 17 and 26, arrived in the country in mid-November 2015 on the orders of Isis, rather than having been recruited in Germany. They were either served with an order to carry out a specific attack or were waiting for further instructions, it said.

The suspects are believed to have sworn allegiance to Isis at the end of September 2015 at the latest, in the Syrian city of Raqqa. They are alleged to have received brief training in weaponry and explosives before pledging to carry out operations and attacks in Europe on behalf of Isis.

The terrorist organisation allegedly arranged passports for them, and gave them four-figure sum bundles of US dollars as well as mobile phones with pre-installed communication programmes.

Anti-Terror-Razzia in Flüchtlingsheimen – GSG9 nimmt drei Syrer fest