Tag Archives: Satire
German Of The Day: Umweltsau
That means environmental pig. And that’s what German kids call grandmothers who aren’t greener than Green.
It has a touch of Hitlerjugend or Stasi to it, don’t you think? German state TV at its best. It may have been meant as a satire but something went horribly wrong.
German grandmothers protested outside the offices of state broadcaster WDR in Cologne on Saturday after the station posted a satirical video about old people’s environmental carelessness…
The video, which is set to the tune of a well-known children’s song, satirises older generations’ attitude to the environment and climate change, including the provocative refrain “my grandma is an environmental pig…”
In the video, the children also sing that their environmental-pig grandma cooks discount meat every day, drives an SUV and takes frequent cruise trips. The song closes with a sample of Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg saying “we will not let you get away with this.”
“Grandma isn’t just an environmental pig but a Nazi pig.”
Order Now While The Supply Lasts Or Something
Brain Quest – A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind. Out now!
“Other than a slight run-in with an errant gang of deviant subculture corpuscles our passage through the blameless victim ventricle proved to be rather uneventful.”
Brain Quest: A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind
Available on December 26, 2017! Reserve your copy today for $0.99 and get a huge discount off the regular price. Pre-order now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Smashwords and other select retailers.
Mission Nemo simply must succeed. If the crew of the Super Small Miniaturized Nano-like Operations Wessel S. S. Minnow fails to destroy the inoperable anti-capitalist coagulum lodged in Maurice Moore’s progressive brain, how will General De Klein’s Federal Department of Antidotes operatives at SUCFACE Mission Control find out if Leftylometazoline (aka LeftX) really works? Would this usher in the final stage of the liberal clerisy’s clandestine collectivist conspiracy to abolish our few remaining individual freedoms forever? That would not please President Thump one microscopic little bit.
Join Major Miles Stone and his disturbingly alluring crew on their miniaturized mission through the left and lefter hemispheres of the progressive brain. Their fantastic voyage is a race against time that takes them through such redoubtable regions as the Clinton Vortex, the Che Guevara Gray Area and the Obama Trauma Center itself. Here they bravely confront such anatomical monstrosities as the fantasist frontalis, the hyperbolthalamus and the dreaded pious aspiration node. Their progressive brain journey only gets progressively worse as they are repeatedly attacked by repulsive swarms of nanny neurons, doomsday dendrons, robin hoodlums and the formidable radical egalitarian bacterium. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, and their deadly arsenal of passing phasers, millennial mindset missiles, moral busybody antibodies and Condescendium®, the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost.
The tension never stops building during this thrilling tale of adventure, danger, suspense and romance. And lust. Will Captain Hanna Grenada’s irresistible animal magnetism finally seduce the Major into experiencing something vaguely resembling basic human emotion? Can the all too communicative HAL 9999 super computer and his annoying eye drones really be trusted to operate the ship? And will the Minnow’s political corrector deflectors and smug shields hold, allowing Stone and his crew to reach their target and ignite the liberal bombast bomb in time? I could tell you but that would ruin the suspense.
Not your everyday dystopian science-fiction erotic horror political thriller, this bombastic bombshell of a book knows no shame when it comes to overwhelming you with its serious silliness, wanton wackiness and forthright, flat-out farce. Purchase it now before it is too late or something. Soon to be made into a major motion picture. Or maybe it has been already. There is also time travel involved here, after all.
German Of The Day: Nichtwähler
That means non-voters.
And who do German non-voters vote for? Die Partei, of course.
Twelve straight years of Angela Merkel have left politics feeling a little dry for young people in Germany. But now a satirical party is experiencing a surge in popularity after it was set up as a joke at the expense of the old system…
In the last few months the party has seen its membership swell to reach more than 25,000, just shy of the 26,000 members of the rising and much-publicised extreme-right party Alternative fur Deutschland (AfD), which is expected to enter parliament for the first time this year.
Nichtwähler wählen: Die Partei.
German Of The Day: PARTEI
PARTEI officially stands for “Partei für Arbeit, Rechtsstaat, Tierschutz, Elitenförderung und basisdemokratische Initiative,” or “Work, Rule of Law, Animal Protection, Elite Promotion, and grass-roots democratic Initiative.”
Finally, a political party for the rest of us. I mean, you.
“If it doesn’t matter to you who sits in the Bundestag, wouldn’t it be great to be represented by someone who could care less that he does sit there?”
What I like about a satirical party like the Party is that its meaninglessness, as compared to the meaninglessness of a number of serious political parties here, has a meaning.
As for its campaign goals, Die Partei’s election manifesto is replete with meaningless political platitudes pushed to the edge of absurdity: “Die Partei supports the implementation of all-encompassing, universal, total justice, at least twice as much justice as the SPD (Social Democratic Party). Any complaints about supposed injustices will be suppressed with the utmost force.”
„Wenn es dir egal ist, wer im Bundestag sitzt, wäre es dann nicht schön von jemandem vertreten zu werden, dem es egal ist, dass er im Bundestag sitzt?“
German Of The Day: Schweinefurz
That means pig fart. And pig farts are super hilarious here in Germany (Hey, German humor is what it is. I’m not passing judgement here or anything).
Unless, of course, they are directed toward foreign heads of state, so-to-speak.
A German court upheld ban on a satirical poem which suggested Turkey’s president had sex with animals and watched child porn. The Hamburg court upheld its injunction issued in May banning re-publication of parts of the poem which it called ‘abusive and defamatory’.
A lamb or a llama fart probably probably wouldn’t have been all that bad in this guy’s poem, but pig fart? That just doesn’t cut it (Cut it, get it?).
„Schweinefurz“ ist für Erdogan besonders ehrverletzend.
Germany To Take Over Leadership Of The Western World
This is one of the best satires I have read in a long, long time.*
One-Hundred Years of Fear – America Has Abdicated Its Leadership of the West
For 100 years, the United States was the leader of the free world. With the election of Donald Trump, America has now abdicated that role. It is time for Europe, and Angela Merkel, to step into the void…
The leaders of the West, minus America, face monumental tasks ahead. They are tasks for German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
* This is a satire, right?
Charges Dropped Against German Comedian Because He Wasn’t Being Funny On Purpose
He was only being funny by accident, investigators say, so that’s OK.
If he had been funny while trying to be funny on purpose, however, this guy would have been up Scheiße Creek without a paddle. Germany comedy is no laughing matter, folks.
Prosecutors have been praised in Germany for dropping a criminal probe into a poem perceived as insulting by Turkish President Recep Erdogan. Satirist Jan Böhmermann’s wording unleashed a diplomatic row last April…
In a three-page declaration Thursday, the prosecutors said their investigation had not established a deliberate intent to insult (insult comedy = to be funny, or can be), sufficient to lead to a criminal conviction.
Es ist enorm wichtig für mich als Künstler in solchen Zeiten einen starken, selbstbewussten öffentlich-rechtlichen Sender mit klarer, unabhängiger Haltung hinter sich zu wissen.
Whaddya Mean 501 German Oddities For Only 99 Cents?
Why that’s almost 5.060606060606061 oddities per penny!
What a steal.
Just ask Marina. If you happen to know her, I mean:
“Hermann, thank you for your blog and books, I am hooked. I recently picked up 501 German Oddities and couldn’t stop laughing. I am German, but live in Boston with my husband, who is from the area and grew up here. We cracked up so many times and just had a blast reading your book. It was actually eye opening at times to the both of us and explained some “odd” behaviors of mine to him. Super grateful for the book and can’t wait to see more blog entries. All the best, Marina.”
Limited time offer or something.
PS: Also available at Smashwords, iTunes, etc.
Observing Hermann 