German Of The Day: Affentheater

Literally, monkey theater. Meaning farce, charade, monkey business.

Germany monkeypox infections rise to three after Berlin cases – At least two cases of monkeypox have been registered in Berlin, health authorities in the German capital said on Saturday, one day after the country registered its first case in Munich.

What This Country Needs Are Stricter Crossbow Control Laws

And knives need to be better regulated too. And bats and clubs and other big chunks of wood. And rocks.

Woman seriously wounded in German school shooting, say police – Bremerhaven pupils barricade themselves in classrooms during attack by man reportedly armed with a crossbow.

American Health Secretary Poses Health Risk For Germany

Geez. You’d think the American Health Secretary would have known enough to get one of those anti-COVID vaccination thingies.

Oh. He did? Several, even? I know, these vaccinations don’t stop you from getting COVID (not anymore), they just stop you from passing it on to others (not anymore). Well, the Germans are going to lock his ass up in quarantine anyway. Or ought to.

Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra tested positive for COVID-19 on Wednesday while traveling in Berlin, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) announced.

“This morning in Berlin, ahead of G7 meetings for health ministers, U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra tested positive for COVID-19 after taking a PCR test,” HHS spokeswoman Sarah Lovenheim said in a statement. “He is fully vaccinated and boosted against COVID-19, and is experiencing mild symptoms. He will continue to perform his duties as HHS Secretary, working in isolation.”

German Of The Day: Gaslobbyist

That means gas lobbyist.

Germany to close Schroeder’s office in repudiation of ex-chancellor – Gerhard Schroeder’s publicly funded office is to be closed and its remaining staff reallocated amid mounting dismay at the former German chancellor’s refusal to distance himself from Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Gerhard Schröder to lose Bundestag office this week. The SPD, the Greens and the FDP want to strip the former chancellor (SPD) of some privileges immediately: In a draft for the budget committee, he will be deprived of offices and staff.

The Name That Shall Not Be Spoken

Or at least classified as a “green investment.”

It starts with a “nu” and ends with a “clear” but you didn’t hear that from me because the Green Brain Police here in Germany demand strict adherence to the ideological tenets of environmental dogma. Or something along those lines.

Germany to reject EU green investment label for nuclear power – Germany will oppose European Union plans to include nuclear energy as a sustainable investment in its “taxonomy” policy for labelling green investments, the government said on Monday.

Brussels is seeking approval from EU countries and European Parliament for its plan to label gas and nuclear as climate-friendly investments, which has split opinion among states who disagree on the fuels’ green credentials.

“The Federal Government has expressed its opposition to the taxonomy rules on nuclear power. This ‘no’ is an important political signal that makes clear: Nuclear energy is not sustainable and should therefore not be part of the taxonomy.”

He’s A Green Economy Minister

So, of course “Germany Can Survive Without Russian Gas.”

The Greens think Germans should do without any form of gas, other than the kind you get from being a vegatarian. They don’t think Germans need any of that yucky energy and industry stuff at all, in fact. Just sunshine, wind, tweeting birds and apple trees. And a treehouse for everyone in the forest. And butterlies. And a cozy campfire every once in a while. But not too many of those because of the CO2.

Economy Minister: Germany Can Survive Without Russian Gas – Germany will be able to withstand a halt of Russian natural gas supplies as long as it manages to fill up its gas storage, Economy Minister Robert Habeck told German media this week.

In an interview with WirtschaftsWoche cited by Bloomberg, Habeck explained that the country would be able to weather the effects of a potential suspension of gas supplies from Russia under three conditions: that it fills up its gas storage facilities before the next heating season begins, that it finishes adding its planned LNG import capacity, and that Germans reduce their energy consumption.

More Sophisticated Argumentation

Anti-Vaxxers = Nazis.

I know. This comparison has never been tried before. That’s what makes it so, I dunno, sophisticated or something. Yawn.

German Anti-Vaxxers Are Fleeing to Paraguay Just Like Nazis Did 70 Years Ago – A failed Aryan colony, runaway Nazis, and loose coronavirus regulations have led to a flood of European anti-vaxxers arriving in the South American nation.

Smell That Coffee

Suddenly, for some odd reason, “LNG” is no longer a dirty word/acronym in German anymore. It used to mean “dirty, awful US-Amerikan fracking gas.”

It looks like they changed that definition recently so it probably won’t be long before the Germans will be explaining to the rest of the world how to do LNG the right way.

The Cabinet approves bill to speed up construction of LNG terminals – The Cabinet on Tuesday approved a bill to speed up the construction of floating and fixed LNG terminals and the pipelines needed to connect them to the gas grid. The Bundestag and Bundesrat still have to approve it.

A Promise Is A Promise

Not.

German Chancellor Olaf Scholz promised two months ago to deliver a substantial increase in defense spending. Where is that money now? Funny you should ask, since Mr. Scholz’s waffling on his signature pledge is a growing controversy in Berlin.

The “turning point” speech Mr. Scholz delivered on Feb. 27 included two promises: increase the annual military budget to at least 2% of GDP, in line with North Atlantic Treaty Organization targets, and create a one-time €100 billion ($105 billion) special fund for procurement. Crucially, the procurement fund would be exempt from the constitutional limit on government debt, although the regular military budget wouldn’t be…

Yet Mr. Scholz is struggling to say what he meant by his twin promises. His February speech neglected to specify whether he meant he’d spend 2% of GDP plus €100 billion, or whether he’d spend 2% of GDP including the €100 billion. The distinction matters.

German Of The Day: Panzerhaubitzen

That means self-propelled howitzer.

Germany to send seven howitzers to Ukraine in further policy reversal – Germany will deliver seven self-propelled howitzers to Ukraine, Defence Minister Christine Lambrecht said on Friday, in a further reversal of a longtime policy not to send heavy weapons to war zones due to the country’s Nazi past.

The howitzer delivery, on top of five such artillery systems the Netherlands had already pledged, was another sign of Berlin heeding pressure at home and abroad for it to help Ukraine fend off a Russian invasion.