German Of The Day: Moralkeule

That means moral club. No, not the kind you join. The kind you wack folks with.

Moral Club

“The ugly German doesn’t wear a steel helmet anymore – he gives the world moral instruction. When a German captain goes to court in Italy the German public opinion (the “folk’s soul”) seethes. Even President Steinmeier disregards international law and grabs the moral club.”

To understand many of the odd views that Germans hold you must understand that Germany is a moral superpower, or at least that’s how Germans behave. Like liberals everywhere, German activists are forever calling on a higher legitimization to justify actions that undermine the rule of law – in this case in another country (how convenient). An activist captain who defied the Italian government’s ban and docked at Lampedusa with forty refugees on board has now become a German folk hero (for fifteen minutes at least).

It appears that when you’re a German moral superman, idealism gives you the morally superior superhero right to break the law for the greater good (sounds vaguely familiar). Just what that greater good is you decide yourself.

Oddly, in this particular case, the heroic types in the limelight never get around to suggesting that the refugees in question be shipped directly to Germany instead. Why doesn’t Germany just airlift them directly to Berlin and bypass Italy altogether? Turn your moral clubs into plowshares already, folks.

Wenn eine deutsche Kapitänin in Italien vor Gericht gestellt wird, beginnt die Volksseele zu kochen. Selbst Bundespräsident Steinmeier vergisst dann das Völkerrecht und greift zur Moralkeule.

 

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Saving The Planet The Convenient Way

Lord knows that “saving the planet” from climate change is hard work.

Planet

That is why so many Germans are so “conscientious about the purchases they make, ride bikes and try to reduce their trash and carbon footprint.” They are also perfectly aware of the fact that they “can’t solve the problem on their own,” which us very, well, convenient but “they can force politicians and businesses to act,” which they do, if it isn’t all too inconvenient, that is.

And all of this gives them a good conscience, which is good. A good conscience one must have when one is riddled with guilt. A good conscience one must have when one is driving one’s expensive German non-electric automobile down the autobahn at excessive speeds, for example, or purchasing goods and products grown or manufactured on the other side of the planet being saved and flown in to Germany at dumping prices. A good conscience one must have when one simultaneously exports one’s plastic waste to the other side of the planet while flying off on vacation three times a year to culturally exchange with other cultures about the virtues of saving said planet.

Good conscience and convenience go hand in hand here, in other words. Here, too, Germany is a forerunner and we should look up to their shining example with admiration and humility.

“Sustainability is becoming a ‘quasi-religious’ promise of salvation.”

German Of The Day: Bußgeld

No, that doesn’t mean bus money. It means fine or penalty.

Fine

And that’s what the parents of the kids who have been taking part in Joan of Arc’s, I mean, Greta Thunberg’s wackedelic Fridays for Future (FFF) demonstrations will now have to be paying. At least here in Germany.

German school authorities are starting to get tired of all the truancy going on or something and have begun handing out fines starting at 88.50 euros a pop. Jeepers. That might get FFF-freakin’ expensive before too long, folks.

Eltern von Klimaschutzdemonstranten müssen Bußgeld bezahlen – Seit Monaten demonstriert Fridays for Future für besseren Klimaschutz. Weil das auch während der Schulzeit geschieht, wird in Mannheim das Ordnungsamt aktiv.

Slow Learners

The Good Germans still haven’t figured it out.

Heiko

Although this became loud and clear as a bell very quickly after Angela Merkel opened up the floodgates back in 2015, many German Gutmenesch (do-gooder) politicians still believe they can convince leaders in other European countries to help them establish a “fair” distribution system for the asylum seekers who Germany unfairly invited to Europe.

More dream world thinking, in other words. Personally, I think the fairest solution would be to fly all would-be asylum seekers wishing to come to Europe directly to Germany, Berlin Airlift style.

German foreign minister calls for alliance of EU countries to take in migrants – Berlin is willing ‘to make a substantial contribution,’ says Heiko Maas…

His proposal was immediately rejected by Austria’s former and possibly future chancellor, Sebastian Kurz. Kurz, who is running to regain the chancellorship in September, described quotas as an outdated idea and declared that “the distribution of migrants across Europe has failed,” in a statement Saturday reported by dpa.

German Of The Day: Mundtot Machen

That means to make “mouth-dead,” as in to silence someone.

Brain Police

Groupthink requires individuals to avoid raising controversial issues or alternative solutions, and there is loss of individual creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking.”

On its third try, Germany’s center-left Social Democrats (SPD) will be able to kick controversial anti-Islam author Thilo Sarrazinfrom its ranks, an arbitration court ruled on Thursday. The former Berlin senator intends to appeal the ruling.ConCo

“We will try to take the case to all stages of the state and the federal arbitration court of the SPD and, beyond that, if necessary, all the ordinary civil instances of the district court of Berlin, the Court of Appeals and Federal Supreme Court, then the Federal Constitutional Court,” defense lawyer Andreas Köhler said. “In the meantime Dr. Sarrazin will continue to be an astute and attentive member of the SPD.”

Who are the Brain Police?

German Of The Day: Hinterzimmer

That means backroom.

Backroom

You know, like backroom deals? Like the way EU technocrats decide who runs the show despite what the electorate says? Why even hold European elections in the first place?

Von der Leyen nomination: Germans criticise ‘backroom deal’ – “What was the point of all that?” German critics are asking, after the nomination of Ursula von der Leyen, Germany’s defence minister, for the top EU job of Commission president.

There were TV debates. There were election rallies. Germany’s streets were plastered with posters showing the faces of candidates for the EU’s top jobs.

But Mrs von der Leyen’s face did not appear on any posters. Instead her nomination was suddenly announced after weeks of difficult, behind-the-scenes wrangling between EU leaders.

This is European, I mean EU democracy in action, people.

Fifteen Years!

Fifteen years? That’s what a “life sentence” in Germany means.

Crime

In other words, in Germany you get away with murder when convicted of murder.

A failed Iraqi asylum seeker has been handed life in prison for the rape and murder of a 14-year-old German girl.

Ali Bashar, 22, had admitted in court in Wiesbaden that he strangled Susanna Feldman on 23 May 2018, but claimed he did not know how it happened…

Susanna’s mother, Diana, said that “part of my future and my heart disappeared” when her daughter died. “I have already received life imprisonment, although I am not guilty. I will never get a chance for a pardon.”

Ho-hum, They Found Another Bomb In The Neighborhood

German Oddity 15. Germany is a place where huge underground bombs are routinely unearthed all around the country and this barely even makes second page news. In fact, most Germans directly affected are more annoyed about it than anything else. They grudgingly leave their homes until the bomb crews have disarmed or detonated the damned things. Over 5,000 bombs are found in Germany every year.

Bomb

1,100-pound US bomb from WWII defused in Germany after mass evacuation.

Verzögerte Räumung, schnelle Entschärfung.

German Of The Day: Entlassungswelle

That means wave of layoffs.

Bank

Although the plural form would be more accurate these days. It’s the latest big thing in Germany. Everybody’s doing it – or in the process of planning it (see German automobile industry).

Take the Deutsche Bank, for instance. Give me 18,000 employees to go. The times they are a changin’.

Up to 20,000 jobs could be axed at Deutsche Bank in a radical reorganisation of Germany’s biggest bank.

The investment bank is expected to be particularly hard hit, with many of the cuts set to affect London and New York.

“I can assure you: we’re prepared to make tough cutbacks.”

The Next German Folk Hero Is Born

For fifteen minutes or so, at least.

Folk Hero

Carola Rackete has been lauded as a heroine and decried as a criminal for helping asylum-seekers stranded in the Mediterranean Sea. What drives the 31-year-old German captain of the Sea-Watch rescue boat?

That’s easy. It’s the drug she’s taking: Guilt. Guilt gets people high. At least here in Germany it does. Guilt-induced moral intoxication turns its users from nobodies minding their own business into moral supermen saving the world. Those they claim to help are of secondary importance.

“I have decided to enter the port of Lampedusa. I know what I’m risking, but the 42 rescued people are exhausted. I’m taking them to safety now.”