From yesterday (why Germans don’t want any kids): They’re too loud.
Germany is so desperate to encourage people to have more children that the government is proposing a bill allowing citizens under six to laugh, shout and play at any volume.
Germany is a land of many rules, especially about noise. The government’s move comes after a series of lawsuits about children and noise, and a recent call from a senior citizens’ chapter of Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservatives, who sought to ban kindergartens from residential areas because they are too loud.
Thank goodness. I’m sure this proposed bill will turn everything around for the better.
Observing Hermann 
I think I have the perfect sehr Deutsch solution. Some kluger Hermann could figure out how to convert noise into energy, after which the German state would build “noise farms” of citizens under six years years old. Each playground would be surrounded by noise-energy collectors. Real Green Energy, doch. Of course, the children would be housed together in dormitories and fed by the State until the age of six, at which point they would be returned to their parents, their shouting and screaming capacity having been thoroughly depleted. As a bonus, they would be very quiet, obedient adults, barely audible at the Stuttgart 21 pep rallies.
Noise Farms! When youz guyz brainstorm like that it’s frightening. I could SEE this happening. Please, let’s change the subject pronto.
LOL!
The Weber–Fechner law in physics represents on a logarithmic scale the relationship between the physical objective change of sound (or noisiness) and the perceived personally subjective intensity of the sound. So what any person hears or interprets as loud is what the children physically change at a certain moment and may be meaningless measured in Dezibel.
What the Germans should be hearing/allowing is the sound of their future on those few left over playgrounds and kindergardens.
Wait a minute! Think of all the CO2 (and other wastes) these little buggers give off. Children are not Umweltfreundlich.
You have to hate them simply because they can still wear pink and not look like streetwalkers and they like school without knowledge of the patriarchy at work.
Yeah, Pat. They’re a provocation. No joke: You can take your freakin’ dog with you into a restaurant here (depending on the restaurant, of course) and everybody there goes goodgy goodgy goo with him/her, but anybody who takes kids into the same place gets dirty looks big time. It’s a bit mysterious really.
Damn, I just sprayed coffee at “dirty looks big time” as I had a sudden flash remembering those looks. Whew. Sadly, how true. It’s kind of nice having the entire Atlantic between me and Hermann. Hey, I like visiting Hermann every now and then, but he can really get on one’s nerves fast.
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I almost got pinched by the Polizei. It was -15C. I turned on the ignition to let the car warm up. Then I accidently locked the door. The next door neighbor, (needless to say an a-hole), called the Polizei. Luckily, the bulls had a since of humor, and a coat hanger. They got the door open and drove off without giving me an Anzeiger.