Heckler & Koch Announces Bankruptcy Plans

German weapons manufacturing company Heckler & Koch has announced a major change of business strategy.


In the future the company will only sell its weapons to countries that are “unequivocally democratic” and “clearly not corrupt.” A frantic search has now begun by Heckler & Koch customer care professionals to locate any countries out there that might possibly meet these requirements before the liquidator is called in but the results have been less than encouraging and time is running out fast.

“Wir wollen nur noch solide Länder beliefern, also zweifelsfrei demokratisch, eindeutig nicht korrupt und in der Nato oder Nato-nah.”  


3 responses

  1. Same dirty business everywhere. Here is what der BUNDESRAT from Switzerland says when it comes to job-security and export. No excuse embarrassing enough to prevent Switzerland’s wealth and prosperity:

    “Grünes Licht gab der Bundesrat aber auch für die Ausfuhr von «Ersatzteilen und Baugruppen für F-5-Kampfflugzeuge» nach Bahrain sowie von «Ersatzteilen für M109-Panzerhaubitzen» in die VAE. Eine «missbräuchliche Verwendung zur Begehung von Verletzungen des humanitären Völkerrechts und schwerwiegenden Menschenrechtsverletzungen», schrieb der Bundesrat, könne bei solchem Kriegsmaterial «weitgehend» ausgeschlossen werden.”

    Auszug aus der Schweizer Revue, Der Zeitschrift für Auslandschweizer (Journal for Swiss expats)

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