Israel

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Submarine

Because somebody has to admire them.

Meanwhile… All of Germany’s six submarines are currently out of action. The country’s only operational sub had an accident off the coast of Norway on the weekend and was moved into the ThyssenKrupp Marine Systems’ shipyard in Kiel. In that incident, the U-35 had a rudder blade damaged during a diving maneuver.

No, it’s not like Germany merely has an alibi army, or in this case navy, just to justify its lucrative weapon sales. It just looks that way.

Advertisements

The Wild Boar Is The One Without The Gun

I knew that German wild boars were tough hummamuffers but I had no idea they were this tough.

Boar

This was like the Bonnie and Clyde of wild boars or something. If you read this report (really, really fast without paying too much attention to the words like I did) you will discover that this pair of pigs robbed a bank, ripped a man’s car off, ate somebody’s finger, then smashed the car before being ambushed by law officers near Sailes, Louisiana.

Looks like they got Clyde, too. Those no good #!?\ߧ!s.

Police confirmed on Facebook that two “grown, aggressive wild pigs” have been running through Heide city centre since around 9am local time.

Write This Down

Let’s do some science and write this down.

Insects

New study suggests insect populations have declined by 75% over 3 decades…

A new scientific study has found “dramatic” and “alarming” declines in insect populations in areas in Germany, which researchers say could have far-reaching consequences for the world’s crop production and natural ecosystems.

The science will consist of getting back to me in a year or two, maybe three, if we’re all still around, that is, and reminding me to check into the current numbers about the status of this dramatic decline. You know, just to see how dramatic the dramatic decline was after all? This clearly has the ozone hole, acid rain, Waldsterben (dying forests), BSE (mad cow disease), bird flu, SARS, Elektrosmog (mobile phone radiation), killer bee invasion, drowning polar bears, Ebola pandemic, creepy clowns, chemtrails, creepy clown chemtrails, C02, C02, C02 and Area freakin’ 51 written all over it. If you know what I mean. And you do.

“There’s no reason to think this isn’t happening everywhere.”

Right-Wing Leftie? Left-Wing Rightie?

Let’s call the whole thing off.

Sahra

Here is another tough, emancipated woman in action. Left party crazy Sahra Wagenknecht just heuled (cried) her way through her latest power struggle to stay on top – of her party, of course (they wanted to calm her down a bit because she was going too far right and starting to sound like regular folks on the street – with regard to refugees, for instance).

But how did she do it? By pouting and getting all teary-eyed and hysterical and howling about being mobbed and threatening to resign and leave the party if she didn’t get her way. Wow. I never saw a woman pull that one before. How refreshing. Somebody has to be a trend setter, I guess.

Kipping legt gegen Wagenknecht nach: “Souverän geht anders.”

 

German Of The Day: Gleichberechtigung

That means equality, emancipation, equal status.

Gleichberechtigung

You know, like with prison personnel? Although that’s not quite what this female correctional facility employee got as she accompanied a sex offender during his accompanied prison leave. She got sexually abused instead, before the guy hung himself.

Let women staff accompany convicted sex offenders on the outside? Why, uh, of course. You got to go with the times, bro. Only an outdated primitive like myself would think that maybe that might not be such a terribly good idea.

Wie konnte es zu der schrecklichen Tat in Niedersachsen kommen? Warum musste ausgerechnet eine Frau den verurteilten Triebtäter begleiten?

German Of The Day: Diese Fahrt Endet Hier

That means this drive or line (as in bus line) terminates here.

Fahrt

Of course a foreign, English-speaking  person like yourself might think that it means “this fart ends here.” You know, like the buck stops here only it’s a fart? That would be incorrect, however. So don’t think that.

Over the past 18 months, a crime scandal has been rocking Berlin. It’s one that so far has required the work of 23 officials, necessitated a court appearance, and, this week, provoked protests from a politician on the floor of Berlin’s Senate. It’s the unusual nature of the crime that has provoked such controversy and upset. It wasn’t an act of violence against a person, a case of damage to property, or of fraud. It was, in fact, a fart.

Pups kostet Steuerzahler knapp 87 Euro.

Hertha Berlin To Take Kneeling To The Next Level

Anybody can take a stand by kneeling these days, I guess. That’s easy.

Hertha

Berlin’s beloved soccer team Hertha BSC is doing this kneeling stuff now, too. Wow. Who would have thought that Germans play the American national anthem over here before game time? I had no idea.

Anyway, Hertha’s doing pretty well so far this season so one fan is suggesting that they should go whole hog and try playing in kneeling position throughout the entire game and/or season. The rules are simple: You’re allowed to switch knees only three times during a game. The Star Spangled Banner must be playing at all times, of course. Just a thought.

Der amerikanische Sportler-Protest gegen Diskriminierung erreicht nun auch Deutschland. Vor der Bundesliga-Partie in Berlin setzen die Spieler der Hertha ein bemerkenswertes Zeichen.

 

German Of The Day: Wegretuschiert

That means to airbrush out.

Lidl

And a lot of customers are cross at the big German discounter Lidl these days for doing just that: Airbrushing out crosses on their products. It’s like Lidl crossed a red line here or something. And now they’re caught in the crossfire. I guess you could say they forgot to dot their i’s and cross their t’s.

First it was a number of Greek products last month and now its Italy’s turn. And why is Lidl doing this? Apparently “to observe religious and political neutrality.”  They promised to stop doing this after last month’s airbrushing incident, however. I guess they forgot to cross their heart and hope to die.

Well I, for one, certainly want my moussaka to remain religiously and politically neutral but maybe this is taking it just a wee bit too far.

Damals erklärte Lidl, dass ein derartiger Eingriff dazu diene, die religiöse und politische Neutralität einzuhalten. Nun fehlen auf Lidl-Werbefotos in Italien erneut die Kirchenkreuze.

Evil US-Amerikan FBI Snooping In Purely German Matters Again

And providing needed proof for the German judiciary system that evil German homegrown spy agencies lke the BKA are clearly not able to provide (because they’re nicer, or at least less evil).

Murder

Like the IP address of the German psycho killer who killed a little German boy and a German friend of his. In Germany. That seems about right. That part about killing his friend. With friends like the FBI you don’t need enemies. Or vice versa.

“Über das FBI haben wir dann seine IP-Adresse bekommen.”

German Of The Day: Staatsfunk

That means state broadcasting. And that doesn’t exist here in Germany, of course.

Spiegel

Or at least that’s what Germany’s state broadcasters are always telling us.

It’s just that these non-state broadcasters, unlike Der Spiegel, for example, don’t have to turn a profit because they are financed by the state (taxation). Despite not being state broadcasters, I mean. It’s complicated.

Bei einem öffentlich-rechtlichen Sender zu arbeiten oder bei einem Verlag, das unterscheidet sich nicht so sehr. Jedenfalls nicht, solange es um die Inhalte geht. Das Geschäftsmodell allerdings unterscheidet sich durchaus: Während Verlage wie der SPIEGEL das Budget für ihre Angebote erst erwirtschaften müssen, nehmen es öffentlich-rechtliche Sender zu guten Teilen über Rundfunkgebühren ein.