Merkel Isn’t Merkelchen

Or “little Merkel”. She’s only been gaining weight if anything these days, but that’s getting personal.

Merkel

This guy is. Only he’s not little Merkel either. He’s Merkel’s Mini-Me Man. I know, it’s confusing. Everything in Germany is einfach kompliziert (simply complicated).

Bodo Ramelow, leftwing leader of the German state of Thuringia, stirred nationwide debate after telling Clubhouse users he played Candy Crush during pandemic crisis meetings, and described Chancellor Angela Merkel in one conversation as Merkelchen, or “little Merkel”.

 

How Stunning And Brave

To pretend you would stand up to China when it comes to trade. Even if it was just for a few media moments like that.

China

Impressive. Not. As usual.

Experts Demand Suspension of EU-China Investment Deal – More than a hundred experts are demanding an end to the EU-China investment agreement, DER SPIEGEL has learned. They name serious human rights violations and the suppression of democracy movements in China as the reasons.

“Despite evidence of ethnic cleansing, forced labor, and other gross human rights violations, the leadership of the European institutions have chosen to sign an agreement which exacts no meaningful commitments from the Chinese government to guarantee an end to crimes against humanity or slavery.”

 

German Navy Threatening China

And the Chinese are threatening to laugh themselves silly.

Frigate

No one was available to explain just how the German frigate will be towed to Japan, however. Or who will do it.

Germany to send naval frigate to Japan with eye on China – Berlin wary of Beijing’s expansionism but seeks decoupling of politics and trade.

“We must not allow them to rely on strength to impose their own order.”

Sound Vaguely Familiar?

It should. The powers that be in Germany (the political party powers that be) are threatening to put an unwanted competitor, Alternative for Germany, under surveillance for, well, for being an unwanted competitor.

AfD

Sure, they claim it’s for being the Bad Guy Party, for trivializing Germany’s Nazi past but that’s just vorgeschoben (a pretext). They’re stealing their votes by literally offering German voters an alternative. That’s against German political party line. And just so you know, the evil AfD is the largest opposition party in Germany by far.

But hey, at least half of the citizens of The Banana Republic of America are suspected of being insurrectionists and white supremacists and are under surveillance already so go with the flow, right?

Germany Expected To Put Right-Wing AfD Under Surveillance For Violating Constitution – “This agency has the power — and not only to do surveillance on fringe groups, domestic terrorist threats, but also to keep an eye on any political institution, like a political party.”

 

It Will Be A Long Debate

Generally, for as long as there is nothing left to debate about.

Migrants

When “Germany” debates something, especially “terminology,” they will do so until the cows come home. And then leave home again. And then come back home again. And so forth.

For 15 years now, the term used by German statisticians and politicians alike to denote foreigners and their descendants has been “people with a migration background.”

That was the label given to people who weren’t born into German citizenship. And to people whose mothers or fathers were not born German citizens. Today, that applies to a quarter of the population.

After two years of discussing how Germany could better acknowledge its status as a society of immigration, a SPECIALIST commission of 24 politicians and academics appointed by the government has submitted its report to Chancellor Angela Merkel. One of its recommendations is to stop using the terms “migration background” or “immigrant background.”

People should use the term “immigrants and their descendants,” commission chair Derya Caglar said. “In my case, this would mean that I am no longer the migrant, but rather the daughter or descendant of migrants.”

Well, He Was Drunk After All

So, Biden gets sworn in as President while a drunk throws snowballs at the US consulat in Berlin shouting profanities against Trump.

Consul

There is a certain logic to it somewhere. I just haven’t found it yet.

Gleich mehrmals hat ein Betrunkener für Unruhe vor der US-Auslandsvertretung in Berlin-Dahlem gesorgt: Hatte er am Nachmittag noch mit Schneebällen geworfen, flogen in der Nacht Getränkedosen in Richtung der Objektschützer.

“Fuck Trump! Biden will come!”

German Of The Day: Besser, Schneller, Weiter!

That means better, faster, further!

Masks

You know, like in wear better masks? Be faster than the others when it comes to restricting and regulating your citizens? Go further and ever further into debt? Where no man has ever gone before kind of debt? You know, stuff like that?

Germans are told to wear better masks – Germans will be obliged to wear medical-grade masks in shops and on public transport until Valentine’s Day under tighter lockdown measures.

Most schools are likely to remain closed and soldiers will be sent to carry out rapid tests in care homes as the government tries to suppress the more contagious British variant of the coronavirus.

Angela Merkel had sought even tougher restrictions yesterday during eight hours of wrangling with regional leaders, but her appeal for a national night-time curfew was rebuffed.

German Of The Day: Unter einer Decke stecken

Literally, to be under a blanket together. That is, to be in cahoots with, to collude.

Merkel

No connection between Germany’s state television (which most Germans refuse to call state television) and the German government here, folks. Move along. Nothing to see.

An independent journalist wanted to know about Angela Merkel’s routine secret meetings (Hintergrundgespräche – “background meetings”) with said state TV journalists and took it to court when Merkel refused to cooperate. The courts sided with the government and said the public did not need to know about these meetings in detail. The courts again. Sound familiar?

Does China Joe meet with CNN & Co. directly back home in the Banana Republic or does he have middlemen?

“Erst Flüchtlings-, dann Coronakrise: Erneut wird der Vorwurf erhoben, vielen Journalisten ginge es um Gesinnung statt um Aufklärung.” – “First the migrant crisis then the corona crisis: The allegation is being made once again that many journalists are more interested in political conviction than in journalistic clarification.

 

Give The People What They Want

Not. “Never ever,” as the Germans like to say in English. It’s what Merkel & Co want that counts.

Laschet

Or maybe they used Dominion voting machines to select this guy? Jeez. This is almost as bad as back home in the Banana Republic of America.

Germany: Poll shows low support for new CDU head as Merkel successor – Armin Laschet, just elected to chair Angela Merkel’s CDU party, seems little preferred by Germans as a candidate to succeed her as chancellor in September. One pollster puts him on 12% with Bavaria’s Markus Söder on 43%.

 

Meet Merkel’s Mini-Me Man

The other two candidates competing for the job of CDU party boss had actually stood up to her in the past. They never had a chance.

Laschet

German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s center-right party on Saturday chose Armin Laschet, the pragmatic governor of Germany’s most populous state, as its new leader — sending a signal of continuity months before an election in which voters will decide who becomes the new chancellor.

Laschet defeated Friedrich Merz, a conservative and one-time Merkel rival, at an online convention of the Christian Democratic Union. Laschet won 521 votes to Merz’s 466. A third candidate, prominent lawmaker Norbert Roettgen, was eliminated in a first round of voting.

But who am I to criticize how other countries run their elections? I am a citizen of the Banana Republic of America.