“Work Again?”

Is this German humor? In a British tabloid?

Germany

“Will Germany’s effective Covid strategy work again as it enters a second wave?” It didn’t work the first time, folks (they’re up to 7,000+ new infections a day now, and climbing). Even though the Germans, as Klassenbeste (best in class), did everything right. Right? Face masks, social distancing, etc.

It could almost make one think that these face masks don’t help.

“The first wave taught us that if politicians and scientists work together, they have more chance of beating this virus.”

Do You Want Total Tolerance?

Actually, no. Not even in Germany.

Hand

Man denied German citizenship for refusing to shake woman’s hand – The man aced the German naturalization test, but refused to shake hands with the female official handing over his citizenship.

You get one guess which rich cultural background this guy had. Wow. You got that one on the very first try!

But Everybody’s Wearing Masks Here Already

And the masks work, right? So why does the number of COVID-19 infections in Germany keep rising?

Masks

Coronavirus in Germany: Angela Merkel urges people to stay home ‘whenever possible’ – Angela Merkel has called for solidarity as Germany enters a “very serious phase” of the pandemic. Germany has again set a new daily case record, as ministers call for thousands of additional contact tracers.

“The comparatively relaxed summer is over; now we are facing difficult months. How winter will be, how our Christmas will be, will be decided in the coming days and weeks.”

 

Not Just The Italian Mafia

Any kind of international crime organization you want sees Germany’s justice system as a joke.

Mafia

Italian mafia sees German justice system as ‘a joke’ – The Italian mafia has hundreds of members in Germany pulling strings in the international drug trade. The latest major trial shows how lengthy legal procedures and lenient verdicts are no match for organized crime.

“Our prosecution system is a joke for mafia groups. In the mafia, they price this in — they expect to face trials and even convictions. But the penalties threatened in Germany are laughably mild. They’re not a deterrent. The mafia isn’t bothered by them.”

The German Population Is Declining?

It depends on who you’re counting in Germany – and their birth rates.

Germany

German population declines for first time in decade – Pandemic has caused a fall in net immigration in the first six months, federal data show.

Translation: The only population growth in Germany comes from those who are not German. And Germany is like Japan (below)? Sort of. Only the Japanese don’t let anyone into their country. Germans no longer have any control over who comes into theirs.

Germany has long been grappling with a Japanese-style combination of low birth rates, an ageing society and a stagnant population of working-age people, which economists say raises concerns about productivity, growth and public finances in the future.

Germany Tough Now On China?

Sure they are. And I’ve got some swamp land in Florida I can offer you for next to nothing.

China

The Germans are bought and they know it.

Merkel’s China Reset Is Mostly Hollow – As the engine of German export growth, the destination of $100 billion worth of German goods last year, and Germany’s biggest overall trading partner, China is not just a large and profitable market. Germans see China as the mechanism for sustaining the only prolonged era of domestic harmony their country has ever known.

German Of The Day: Weiblich

That means feminine. You know, like the German language?

Weiblich

Well, not quite yet.

Germany’s Interior Ministry has objected to draft legislation drawn up by the Justice Ministry that uses the feminine form for every reference to people. It argued on Monday that the result likely would be unconstitutional. In German, linguistic convention has long called for the masculine form of a word to be used as the default when referring to people of either sex, such as in legislation.

In der Bundespressekonferenz ergänzte ein Sprecher des Innenministeriums, die Formulierungen des Gesetzentwurfs hätten “bei formaler Betrachtung zur Folge, dass das Gesetz gegebenenfalls nur für Frauen oder Menschen weiblichen Geschlechts gilt und damit höchstwahrscheinlich verfassungswidrig wäre.”

Flatliners

Coronavirus mortality rates: Germans continue to keep not dropping like flies.

Flatliners

They forgot to add the panic level here though. It’s also still as flat as ever. At a much higher level, of course, but still.

Coronavirus digest: Germany mulls restrictions on traveling, partying – Chancellor Angela Merkel’s aide has called for restrictions on social gatherings and travel to deal with the rising number of COVID-19 cases. Germany has reported a surge in daily infections…

While the number of cases and deaths in Germany is lower than in many neighboring countries, the country has been reporting more than 4,000 daily cases since Thursday, the highest since April.

 

German Of The Day: Sperrstunde

That means curfew.

Sperrstunde

The first one in Berlin in 70 years. It’s a good thing that Germany (and the German capital) has this corona thing under control, right?

Coronavirus: Berlin’s first curfew in 70 years kicks in – The German capital has implemented a nighttime curfew in response to a dramatic increase in COVID-19 cases. On the first night of the new regulations the mood was somber in the Friedrichshain district, a virus hot spot…

Leaving a Späti — the Berlin colloquialism for a kiosk — a group of friends is struggling to haul a crate of beer outside into the heavy drizzle, joking that they need to stockpile supplies — or, as Germans would say “hamster” — before the new curfew kicks in.

It’s Reassuring To Know That The Germans Always Have Everything Under Control

Especially when you live in Germany. Take the “coronavirus risk threshold,” for instance. Please.

Corona

Hmmm. No longer head of the mask class, Germany? 4,500 new infections yesterday, and rising. Do you have this under control? Does anyone?

Berlin and Frankfurt both hit German coronavirus risk threshold – Germany’s capital and financial capital have both hit the level defined by the government as risky — 50 new cases per 100,000 residents over a seven-day period. It could lead to travel restrictions at home and abroad.

“We must avoid reaching the point where we lose control.”