Phase 1: AstraZeneca Vaccine Too Dangerous For Over-60s

It was made in Brexit England, after all. We don’t think we’ll be using it.

Phase 2: Hey! Where’s all the AstraZeneca vaccine we ordered from you in England? Are you holding it back to punish us for having purposely spooked everybody about using the AstraZeneca vaccine?

Phase 3: OK, so we didn’t order enough but you should give us the order we didn’t order anyway because we are Europeans.

Phase 4: Our studies now show that the AstraZeneca vaccine is OK after all. It’s OK to send us the freakin’ vaccine already. We’re waiting and it’s kind of important.

Phase 5: New studies show that one out of eight zillion can suffer complications after using the AstraZeneca vaccine even though its benefits far outweigh any possible danger so we don’t think we’ll be using any AstraZeneca vaccine after all, thank you.

Phase 6: Our studies now show that the AstraZeneca vaccine is OK after all and its benefits far outweigh any possible danger by taking it. It’s OK to send us the freakin’ vaccine already!

Phase 7. Actually, studies now show that the vaccine could possibly cause problems in one out of sixteen zillion anong the younger crowd so we are going to go back to Phase 1, only this time we’ll only be giving it to the over-60s. Where’s our vaccine?!?

Germany’s government said Tuesday it will restrict the use of AstraZeneca PLC’s Covid-19 vaccine for people younger than 60 following fresh blood-clotting incidents among recipients, potentially presenting the country’s sputtering vaccine rollout with fresh delays.

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