German Of The Day: Umerziehen

That means re-educate.

Umerziehen

And that’s what the “framing” expert at Germany state TV “Channel One” (ARD) has advised its employees to do. Viewers are in dire need of re-education.

Her secret “framing manual” indicates that the ARD is at war with its critics and private television channels alike, disruptive elements who refer to the ARD as “state TV,” criticize “compulsory fees” (they’re not compulsory, they’re a show of solidarity!) and “question the ARD’s relevance.” Gee, I guess she means me, too.

These disruptive elements don’t understand that the ARD is “guided by moral principles” and its own “moral necessity for social interaction” and not, like them, motivated by profit. The ARD doesn’t have to be motivated by profit, people. All Germans get taxed for this state supported media bias whether they’re viewers or not.

Isn’t that a nice smirk? Big Sister is watching. She wants you all to keep on watching, that is.

Die Arbeit der ARD, so heißt es, sei „von moralischen Prinzipien getragen“, überzeugt von der eigenen „moralischen Notwendigkeit für das gesellschaftliche Miteinander“ – während die „medienkapitalistischen Heuschrecken“ des Privat-TV nur dem Profit dienen würden.

Advertisements

German Of The Day: Tempolimit

That means speed limit.

Speed Limit

Odd, yesterday we dealt with getting caught in traffic jams in a country that doesn’t have any speed limits (on parts of the Autobahn) and now it’s time to introduce such speed limits in the same country? At least that’s what the commission National Platform for the Future of Mobility is proposing, whatever that is. Look, these drivers aren’t going anywhere now as it is. How will reducing their speed get them nowhere any safer? Oh, it’s about CO2 again. I should have known.

Limit the maximum speed on the German Autobahn to 130 km/h? This could lead to another revolution, folks. And it probably won’t be a bloodless one this time.

Kommission ist sich der Brisanz bewusst – Noch ist es nur ein Entwurf, doch die Ideen der Kommission “Nationale Plattform Zukunft der Mobilität” haben es in sich. Sie sollen den CO2-Ausstoß bis 2030 um die Hälfte senken.

We Are Justified In Taking Away Your Children

If you don’t send them to our schools. Where they learn our rules. And become proper tools. You fools.

Home Schooling

We simply must INSIST on giving your children a classical education, you see. And as George Orwell himself put it: “I doubt whether classical education ever has been or can be successfully carried out without corporal punishment.”

German parents whose four children were taken into care because they refused to send them to school did not have their human rights breached, the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) has ruled.

Home education is banned in Germany but the Wunderlich family, from Darmstadt, who are Christian, wished to educate their children in this way.

“Based on the information available at the time, the domestic authorities had reasonably assumed that the children were isolated, had had no contact with anyone outside of the family, and that a risk to their physical integrity had existed.”

German Of The Day: Pessimistisch

That means pessimistic. As in pessimism. German pessimism, to be exact.

Optimism

German optimism is already pretty pessimistic so you can imagine what German pessimism must be like. And the Germans going through another pessimistic pessimism phase again these days.

A new survey indicates that a mere 17 percent of the population see the coming year with any kind of confidence or optimism. This is the largest drop in confidence in five years, the polling institute Ipsos says, and the turning point was the Flüchtlingsdebatte (refugee debate) that began in 2015.

2015 hatte die Flüchtlingsdebatte zu einem Stimmungseinbruch geführt. Die Sorgen im Hinblick auf die Integration der Zuwanderer sind noch immer da: 50 Prozent der Befragten befürchten, dass eine wachsende Fremdenfeindlichkeit den sozialen Frieden gefährdet. Das sind vier Prozentpunkte mehr als vor einem Jahr.

Just A Normal German Wedding

You know, Germans with their big families and all?

Wedding

And their extended families? And those that extend from there? Like the Corleones? Only they’re actually Lebanese?

Criminal Arab clans are really big these days in Germany. Literally. So that’s why hundreds of German cops make sure to attend weddings and funerals with thousands of guests whenever “The Godfather of Berlin” or “El Presidente” and their crews get together for social events of this nature. Like yesterday in Mülheim. It helps keep the dialogue between the various Parallelgesellschaften (parallel societies) going or something.

Mahmoud Al-Zein ist kein Geringerer als der „Pate von Berlin“, eine der schillerndsten Figuren der arabischen Clans in Deutschland.

The Wrath Of Khan

Only this Khan’s name is Wolfgang.

Khan

Maybe this Friedrich Merz has a chance of becoming head of the Christian Democrats (CDU) this Friday after all. Wolfgang Schäuble, the seventy-six-year-old CDU Urgestein (bedrock) who should have/would have been chancellor, is supporting Merz wholeheartedly. He is doing this out of conviction, of course, but he also has an ax to grind with Empress Merkel Herself (who wants Mini-Merkel to take over for her – and can’t stand Merz). Like Helmut Kohl before her, her rise to power came with a major political setback for Schäuble. Now it’s payback time. Better late than never.

“Of course! We are one big, happy fleet! Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?”

Weil er Kanzler nicht werden konnte, will er jetzt, am Ende eines schier unglaublichen Berufslebens, wenigstens Kanzlermacher sein. Er nutzt, 76-jährig, seine wohl letzte Gelegenheit, auf die Geschichte der CDU und der Bundesrepublik entscheidenden Einfluss zu nehmen – und damit zugleich für die politische Zurücksetzung, die er erst von Kohl und dann von Merkel erfahren hat, Genugtuung zu finden.

German Of The Day: Amerikanische Verhältnisse

That means American conditions. And it’s usually meant in the negative sense.

TK-Maxx

You know, like when forty people in two rival groups start a mass brawl during a Black Friday sale at a TK-Maxx in Osnabrück? That’s right. They may not celebrate Thanksgiving in Germany but they certainly know how to enjoy Black Friday festivities here now. And they seem to be really good at it, too.

The police had to come in with twenty cop cruisers and a few ambulances to haul the injured away. But the savings were tremendous!

Die Polizei rückte mit 20 Streifenwagen an und musste die Situation entschärfen. Außerdem wurden bei der Schlägerei mehrere Menschen verletzt, sodass auch mehrere Rettungswagen im Einsatz waren.

“Trump Still Clicks”

CNN title: Trump’s been president for two years. Germans still can’t look away. Nor will they look away. Because they can’t.

Trump

Why should this surprise anyone? This a perfectly normal everady pathological German obsession, no different than their irrational infatuation with Obama before Trump and their Verteufelung (demonization) of Bush before him (and on and on it goes). Germans are hysterical in these matters. It’s a collective psychological issue, an obsession with US-Amerika in the end. What is more, this collective hysteria is very profitable for the brain police in German media who milk it daily.

I’ve always liked this guy’s take on it (a Spiegel man himself): “German schadenfreude knows no bounds, particularly when it comes to the United States. The country loves to feel superior to a superpower like America. Yet Germany also harbors a childish infatuation with Obama — one which has little political grounding. The reasons are psychological. …The criticism of America has always been a bit infantile. One is familiar with the theory from psychoanalysis, when people talk about transference, or when suppressed feelings or emotions are overcome by projecting them onto others. It may work for a while, improving one’s feeling of self-worth by devaluing an imagined adversary. But it always falls short. Which is why the ritual must be constantly carried out anew.” – Jan Fleischhauer

Over two floors of Der Spiegel’s glasshouse building, walls bearing seven decades of the magazine’s covers serve as a colorful chronology of modern history. On one wall are cartoons of an angry yellow-haired man that are so provocative they’re impossible to miss.

“Trump still clicks, people are interested in those stories — and the same applies to our magazine stories and covers.”

Der Spiegel Analyzes The “Kavanaugh Disaster”

As only Der Spiegel can. And oddly, they almost got it right.

Kavanaugh

For one thing, they were honest enough to admit that it was a disaster – for them, of course – because “the President and the Republicans achieved a great victory.” And then they continue  on with their five-point explanation of why this is such an awful, terrible and unspeakably bad thing.

1. Trumpism reigns. They got that right, too.

2. The Kavanaugh nomination was a farce. They almost got that right. The nomination itself wasn’t a farce, of course, but the freak show that accompanied it most certainly was.

3. Consensus culture is a foreign word. Absolutely correct. Take Germany, for instance, where they call it Konsenskultur. Every German knows that there is no consensus when it comes to Angela Merkel’s migrant madness meltdown, for example, but the difference between Germany and US-Amerika here is that the Germans behave as if there is. Germans normally being the all too direct ones, it is the Americans this time who make no qualms about how divided they are in Trump America.

4. There are no clear rules for dealing with accusations. Not true. Making false accusations, like the ones made against Kavanaugh here, is against the law. American laws allow those falsely accused of a crime to pursue a course of action in court, generally based on defamation of character. And this, I believe, needs to be done here.

5. The Supreme Court is now in a real mess. Well, they got the mess part right, I guess. But the Supreme Court mess is now in the process of being cleaned up, although there is certainly still quite a bit of work yet to do.

All in all, a solid job, Spiegel journalists. I’ll give you a seven for your five points this time. Keep the change.

Mit der Wahl von Donald Trumps Kandidaten Brett Kavanaugh zum Richter auf Lebenszeit am Supreme Court haben der US-Präsident und die Republikaner einen großen Erfolg errungen.

The Natives Are Getting Restless

The Empress of Germany/Europe is getting headwinds from members of her own party. Of all mere people.

Empress

Two relatively unknown CDU politicians are planning to challenge Angela Merkel for the position of party chairwoman of the CDU during the party’s conference this coming December. Only the winner would then be referred to as the party “chairman” if elected. But still.

How rude. She’s only been in the highest echelon of the CDU for eighteen years (and chancellor since 2005). More respect, please. She’s like, I dunno, the Robert Mugabe of Europe. Never touch a running system and all that. Not even when they’re non-running ones.

“Mir ist bewusst, dass es keine Wahl auf Augenhöhe sein wird. Dennoch ist dieser Schritt notwendig.”