It’s all in how you say it
And only if you say it in English, of course. A German court has ruled that bad Nazi words, although still bad, are not nearly as bad if they are translated to English first and then said “there”, so-to-speak, making them legal, sort of, but just barely. There is a certain logic here, of course. Please tell me once you find it.
Meanwhile… Elsewhere in the English-speaking world… A signed copy of Mein Kampf (signed by you-know-who) was sold in England for a record $35000.
The guy who bought it was a Russian, however, which makes this okay, I think. If a Russian who can’t read German buys a bad German book signed by you-know-who in England then you could take the whole thing to court (here in Germany) and nobody would really much care, I think.
“In memory of our time together in prison in Landsberg.”
War is over, if you want it
I mean the recession is, in Germany.
So like, who won? Certainly the experts didn’t. But, then again, they never do.
“And while exports rose 7% in June, the fastest pace in nearly three years, few analysts had expected a return to overall economic growth so quickly.”
The Berlin Wall of Wilshire Boulevard
Hey, somebody’s got to do it, I guess. And imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I’ve been told.
“In what government and arts officials are calling the most ambitious commemoration of the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall outside of Germany, a symbolic re-creation of the wall that once separated East and West Berlin will be erected across Wilshire Boulevard in November.
The Wall Project, painted by professional and amateur artists, will close Sunday afternoon traffic on one of the city’s busiest thoroughfares for three hours on Nov. 8 beginning at 3 p.m… It will be made up of two parts: The “Wall Across Wilshire” will have as its adjunct the “Wall Along Wilshire — Eastside Gallery West,” which will have a somewhat longer life in front of the 5900 Wilshire Blvd. building, remaining in place from Oct. 17 to Nov. 14.”
The location is “highly symbolic,” said Justinian Jampol, president and founder of the Wende Museum. “It connects downtown to the ocean, those two cultural anchors to the city.
And speak no evil
Do you believe there could be an election campaign held in your country in which the word Afghanistan is not even mentioned (much less the word war), although four thousand of your troops are stationed there (four thousand is considered to be a lot over here)? The Germans can pull that one off in their sleep.
After all, there are more pressing issues (see below).
Being big fans of semantic exercises, especially when it comes confronting evidence that upsets their sometimes rather dreamlike view of the world (in this case the evidence being that building schools won’t stop the Taliban, bullets will), German politicians on both sides of the grand coalition line are dutifully hiding their heads in the sand when it comes to this non-subject, at least until the coming general election is over, at which point the winners will continue to hide their heads in the sand some more.
“Germans have this pacifist world view whereby most problems can be solved through dialogue, aid, compromise and not by force.”
You never know, you know?
Elections can be tricky things. Especially when it comes to fairness and straight-up-ness and all that, I mean. And we all know Germans can be pretty tricky too, of course. Or at least I know it, I mean. So after Germany’s parliamentary election committee refused to let a few itsy bitsy and thoroughly harmless parties take part in next month’s election due to what was termed “application irregularities”, I, or somebody like me, got right on the phone to the OSCE (Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe) and reported it. These irregularities about the irregularities, I mean.
So now the OSCE will be sending election observers to Germany to monitor the country’s general election on September 27. You know, like folks do whenever there’s an election held in some despotic Third World country? Hey, what goes around comes around, I always say.
This will be the organization’s first ever election-monitoring mission to Germany, by the way. And I wholeheartedly welcome it because I, for one, think it’s high time that the rest of the world finally sit up and take notice of the appalling conditions here. During election time, I mean. The rest of the world could finally sit up and take notice of the appalling conditions here during the rest of the time here too, of course, but that might be just a bit too much taking notice to ask.
“Because the non-admission of several parties has now become an issue, our election observers will take a close look.”
Steinmeier falls off the wagen
Off the election bandwagon, that is.
Polls indicate that practically nobody believes much of anything he or the SPD are promising them anymore (the elections are now just seven weeks away). Of course they don’t believe anything the other parties have to say either, but still.
„Ich hätte nichts dagegen, wenn wir dieselbe Feier am 27. September wiederholen.“
Gisèle B.
Crime finally does pay
Dangerous communist East German movies are still being released to this very day. Dangerous to Communism, I mean.
“While the GDR, we learn, has the lowest crime statistics in the world, Wolkenheim (literally Cloudland – suggesting a place that has no connection with reality), the town where Holms is stationed, boasts the lowest crime statistics in the GDR. Even the disappearance of a pet rabbit causes him excitement – he hopes it has been taken hostage – until he discovers it has merely escaped to a nearby lettuce patch. So, when Holms’ drinking acquaintance Pinkas hatches a plan to snatch a monument from the plinth in the main square and flog it to an antiques dealer, Holms seizes the opportunity to make his mark – and of course, discovers love in the process.”
This comic film (Hands Up Or I’ll Shoot), which gently mocks the premise that crime ceases to exist in a fully fledged communist state, was banned in 1966 by the regime’s thought police, who were unhappy with its ironic criticism of the system. It has now been dusted off and put on general release for the first time, to the delight of German cinemagoers – who have made much of the fact that this is the last remaining banned film from the old East Germany.
Where have all the clunkers gone?
Why they’ve been shipped off to Africa, of course. The German cash for clunkers plan, the so-called Abwrackpämie, was also a roaring success over here, you see.
Not only could anybody with an old car help stimulate the German economy by trading it in for a big rebate to purchase a new, more environmentally-friendly model, he or she could then rest more soundly at night knowing that their old CO2-spewing wreck had been taken out of service for good and that they had done their part to help save the world’s climate as we know it.
But now it turns out that up to 50,000 old German cars which had been declared wrecked were in fact later sold to Eastern European countries or shipped off to Africa. I know this sounds bad at first, ex-clunker owner, but I would not worry my little worried head about it and continue to keep on sleeping soundly through the night if I were you (and we both know that you will). This unfortunate “massive scrapping bonus betrayal” is in fact, well, unfortunate, but it will eventually only encourage the Eastern Europeans and Africans to initiate cash for clunkers programs of their own.
And the best part of all of this? This program only cost the German government (that means the German taxpayers) eighty zillion quadrillion bazillion euros (nobody does billion anymore). Government programs rule.
“By taking clunkers of the road, the thinking went, Germany’s carbon footprint could also be reduced.”
Observing Hermann 